On My Dilema With The Male Gender

I'm not sure if I have touched on this topic already, but I don't particularily care; I am going to discuss it again, because it is something that is bothering me. The topic is, of course, about men. More specifically, it is about my problems in finding and keeping one. Over the past two years, I've had a whirlwind of pointless and meaningless relationships. Everything starts out pretty great; I am always super excited, and optimistic about where things could go. Then slowly, but surely, I become disenchanted. I lose complete interest, and struggle to find ways to get myself out. I usually just let things die, by using a strategy of evasiveness. Code: I am a coward. I can admit it. I don't like the nasty "It's not working" conversation. I hate to have to say "it's not you, it's me", even though in almost all the cases that would be true. I've dated a few really awesome, nice guys in the past few months. I try so hard to stay interested in them, based squarely on the fact that they are such upstanding men. But I just can't do it. I always end up being the bitch that broke up with them by never breaking up with them.

It's terrible.

My friends all tease me. They call my problem my "two month itch", because after two months I always flake out. At first I thought something was wrong with me. Maybe I had committment issues. However, after talking things over with a much wiser woman, I've learnt that the problem isn't necessarily just me. It's both parties involved. It's called chemistry, and it fades fast if its not real. I like guys initially because of the "newness" factor. Everyone is excited during the first few stages of a relationship. All those "firsts" make things exciting. You want to experience the firsts, and seconds...but once things start going into sixths, or sevenths, you start to lose that edge. At this point, I start to see the people not as something new, but as something just there. I lose the excitement, because I'm not interested anymore. I'm bored. The chemistry is gone.

This is completely normal! It happens to everyone. It does take about two months for you to get to know someone, so it makes sense that after two months I know whether or not I like someone enough to keep seeing them.

This means that there IS hope for me. I am not doomed to be in a series of two month long relationships. Well...I am...until I find someone that has stellar chemesty with me. That's not so bleak! There has to be SOMEONE out there that will mix well with me, and keep me excited past the two month mark. Adam was able to do it, even Chad (though that only lasted 4 months and then I grew tired of him). It IS possible for me to have chemistry with people. It just can't be forced. It has to just happen.

As such, I will bide my time going through my two months with various people, and if I don't feel the chemistry brewing after two months, I will allow my itch to do its magic, and let them go.

What Two Letters Can Do For You: B.A.

A few days ago, I welcomed a new addition to my life; something that changes the very meaning and appearance of my name. What, you ask? Two simple letters (perhaps three, I'm not entirely sure how they work): B.A. (H?). Yes. It is true. I recieved my Bachelor of Arts Degree. Now, if the fancy strikes me, I can add "B.A." to the end of my name, like some kind of medal of honour (which the H stands for -- I took an honours degree; none of that useless "general" degree nonesense). I doubt I will ever add the B.A. to my name, but it is nice to know the option is there. I think nowadays it is a given that teachers at least have a B.A. I remember when I was in high school, the math teachers always included M.A., or even PhD. That always baffled me though; why have a Masters Degree or even a PhD in math at teach at a public high school!? It seemed to me like such wasted potential. However, now I am increasingly coming to see the uselessness of having a university degree. Granted if I applied for a job that someone with a high school degree applied for, I would be the natural winner, the perks seem to really stop there. Aside from being able to talk pretentiously about my terms in Guelph, I really fail to see how my four year, $40,000 degree helps me.

Lets say I did not get into teachers college (I thank God every day that I did -- and I am NOT a praying woman. God can blow me, teachers college aside). What else could I do with a B.A. in History that would not require further education? Not a whole lot. I could apply to a bunch of entry level jobs, and in my interviews talk about how my program taught me how to "think critically", or my researching skills, or my outstanding paper writing abilities. As amazing as those skills sound to me (ha), I doubt that any prospective employer would jump out of their seat, shake my hand vigorously and proclaim, "You're just the critical thinking kind of mind we NEED here. You're hired!"

I think they were feeding us the wrong message in high school. University was pushed on me like it was the be-all-end-all. I thought that if I didn't get into university, I would fail at life; doomed to a life of poverty and lonelyness, without a degree I would struggle to find work my entire life. College was looked down upon as the place stupid people went to learn the "trades". Little did I know that all the money nowadays is in the trades. People come out of college with hands on experience and training, ready for the real world. These people are not stupid. They're the smart ones. They're the ones making the big bucks. And they paid less to get there. Lucky bastards.

Meanwhile, I have to pay for another year of training, knowing that my starting wage will be roughly $40,000 a year. It'll take me an eternity to pay off my debt, and I'll be in the real world needing real world thinks like a car, and a house, and all that material nonesense that grown up people possess.

It's going to be quite the struggle, but at least I have those two lovely letters behind my name.