On Contemplating Whether Or Not To Partake In New Years Festivities

So I'm sitting in my living room, decked out entirely in Roots apparel. There's nothing I love to lounge in more. I'm feeling pretty relaxed, and ready to just become a vegetable today; nothing but reading, and maybe watching some television or a movie for me. Maybe I will wander down to Rogers Video and rent "Superbad" or something. Who knows. Maybe a little Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Well, not that last part. I made that up. They don't even have one of those in Tillsonburg.

Anyways, I digress. I'm feeling so relaxed today, I am seriously considering NOT going out for New Years. I told my parents of my lovely idea, and they looked at me, with shocked and horrified expressions on their faces.
"What kind of adolescent doesn't want to go out on New Years?" my Dad asked me.
Scowling, I informed him that I was far from an adolescent; I'm 23.
"What kind of 23 year old doesn't want to go out on New Years?" he asked.
"This one," was my reply.
My mother couldn't seem to get past her initial state of shock. She simply stood there, with a blank look on her face. I walked past both of my parents and plunked myself down on the couch.
"You have to go out," my Dad said, " Your mother and I like to run around the house naked on New Years."
I still visibly recoil at the remembrance of this statement. I knew he was joking, but no one likes to imagine their parents cavorting, in any manner. Ever. I was the product of an immaculate birth, hence my total perfection.

But seriously, they both kept trying to cajole me into agreeing to go out tonight. However, I remain fairly steadfast in my determination to remain a homebody tonight. In my defence, I have many more reasons aside from feeling incredibly lazy today. First of all, I would be going with my friends Mike and Carey (both of whom I adore) to some house party. Going with the two of them isn't an issue, but the actual location is. It would be at a party in which I will know next to no one. This usually isn't a big deal for me, as with a few drinks I can become quite the social butterfly (who can't). However, as I am kind of weary of booze these days (and seeing as my resolution is to cut down on my drinking) I wasn't planning on drinking tonight. This means that I would be left in my base element of existence; being shy. I am, contrary to what many may think of me, a very shy person at heart. It takes me while to warm up to people, when I am thrown into a HUGE mix. Granted I am much less shy than I used to be, I still retain some of my very shy qualities. And on a lazy day like today, I don't really think I would be very good in goading myself to be super friendly to complete (and most likely drunken) strangers.

In writing this last sentence, I have also come to the realization that I am, in fact, feeling quite grumpy today. I wasn't quite aware of this until just now. As such, I am even more firm in my belief that I should not attend any social (and sober) outings. I would be a Debbie Downer extraordinaire. This now constitutes my second reason for not wanting to go out tonight.

My third reason is that I fly to Thunder Bay tomorrow. My Dad argued with me that my flight isn't until 8:40pm, and hence should not impede on my ability to go out. However, with the thought of having to leave Southwestern Ontario tomorrow in the back of my head, I am really not in much of a mood to celebrate. I do feel slightly bad that I will not be able to give Mike and Carey a proper goodbye, but that is really small change. I can always call them up for a coffee or something tomorrow afternoon, if they aren't nursing terrible hangovers that prevent them from consuming liquids (or food for that matter. My hangovers of late have been of that variety).

I will more than likely look back on this post, in the months to come, and kick myself for wasting New Years 2007. I may not. Who knows. All I know is that, at this very moment, I am wallowing in a sea of laziness. No, wait. That doesn't quite fit. I am floating along a lazy river of indifference, and am quite content to do so.

Besides, I had a SMASHINGLY great time last New Years (see picture above). I can't possibly top that, so I may as well just let it retain all it's glory, while this year floats slowly out, and the new one floats slowly in. Besides, if all goes to plan, this is going to be a hectic year for me. It seems only fitting that I start it slowly, because from this point on it's going to be a wild ride.

On the Passing of 2007

With only one more day of 2007 left, I thought it would be fitting to reflect on the year that is about to end, and make some predictions on the one that is begining.

First, I must admit that for all its drama, 2007 was a very good year for me. Granted, the year got a good start from 2006 - I started my job at Roots in 2006, where I met and made what I now consider to be my best friend. I also made a handful of other friends from that job, whom I hope to continue life-long friendships with. Hopefully this distance thing won't get in the way of some good friendships. That said, 2007 started with myself in a very good place. I had a job that I loved (Roots), I had friends I could trust, and I finally had the social life I'd been waiting for my entire life. I was popular for the first time ever, and I was enjoying it immensely. I graduated from the University of Guelph, with an honours degree in History, and made family history. I was the very first Barnes (my mothers maiden name) to graduate from University. I don't think I've ever seen my parents more proud of me. It was a really rewarding experience. I miss the University of Guelph very much, and will always remember my time there as the best experience of my life. I wholeheartedly love the University, and will for the rest of my life endorse it. It did good by me. I consider myself a very competent and well rounded individual, and I owe that to the University and it's staff. Kudos to them.

I also got accepted to Lakehead University, for teachers college. As you know, I am halfway through that degree as we speak, and as much as I fault my personal experiences at the school (and in the city of Thunder Bay), I am very lucky and thankful to be there. Having completed my first placement, with flying colours I might add, I can honestly say that I am a better person because of my experience with Lakehead University. They too are doing well by me, all things considered. While I do fault the bureaucracy at the University, I cannot fault their staff; they are a dedicated bunch, who excell at what they do. I look forward to completing my degree. I know I will make a top notch teacher, and I owe all of my knowledge (though not the raw potential and skill) to Lakehead. In the coming years, we shall see how their guidance will help me.

I had a number of short lived relationships in 2007, and I can honestly say that each has helped me to become a much more mature person. For a brief period, I toyed with ideas of being a "maneater". You can ask my Roots girls, they will back up this claim. I found nothing wrong with admitting to my "manizing" ways. In fact, I was quite proud of my ability to get whatever guy I wanted, wrap him around my finger, then chew him up and spit him out. I did it more times than I care to admit, at this stage in my life. To these men, I send my sincere apologies. However, I think this phase of my life was necessary, because it showed me that I am in fact a beautiful and cunning woman, who is capable of getting whatever I want, on my own terms. I've learnt from these experiences. In 2008, a new and better Krista will emerge; one who isn't nearly as careless with hearts as she once was. I think my restless and reckless ways are coming to an end. I realize now how cruel and thoughtless I was last year. I definitely would not want my male friends to date the me of 2007. During the later part of 2007 I started to chance face (mostly due to the eye opening experiences I've had in Thunder Bay). I think I am finally ready to let myself relax into a relationship, instead of burning through men at a quick and steady pace. The time for me to settle is fast approaching. Once I graduate in April, I will be set to be a working woman. This means that I can start to set out my REAL life. My grown up life. There's no room for a free-wheeling, maneater in the real world. I'd crash and burn fast. Instead, I plan to make 2008 my year to seriously pursue a relationship with a REAL man. No more boys for this lady. I'm going to take things a HELL of a lot more seriously.

This starts with my pact to remain as alcohol free as (socially) possible. I don't want to kill my social life, but I do want to clean it up. I still plan on going out with the party animals in Thunder Bay, I just won't be drinking with them. I can have just much fun while sober. Besides, booze is increasingly becoming disgusting to me. Every time I drink it, it makes me feel ill. Even just a few beers, and I become incredibly sick of the taste. It's not for me. My body and mind are not content when I drink. So it's cut. Aside from a few social drinks, my drinking days are over. Mature adults don't need alcohol to have fun anyways. And we all know you can't meet your significant other while tanked. When and if I meet the perfect man, I want it to be on solid ground. I want to be able to impress him with my wit and beauty, not with my ability to slam back beers.

I also plan on working very hard to get a job with the school board of my choosing. I don't want to name which board that is, in case they do random google searches on their potential hirees, or something in that paranoid vein. However, I am determined to work for this board. I think the connections I made during my first placement will allow me to get steady work with the board, as a supply teacher, for the first year or two of my real life. If all goes according to plan, I may not have long to wait before a contract position comes my way. I know I can wow people in interviews, and my references are going to be GLOWING, so I just need to be presented with the opportunity, and I will succeed.

If everything goes the way I want it to go, 2008 will be MY year. I'm going to establish myself as a mature, competent, grown woman. My girlish days are over. It's time for me to grow up, and 2008 is going to be the year I do it.

On Moving Back Up To The 'Bay

I don't think I have disliked a city more than I dislike the city of Thunder Bay. Though I am not entirely sure WHY I dislike Thunder Bay so much, I know that I do. It's kind of weird, because a lot of people ask me to explain my hatred, and I have a really hard time explaining it. It's not that the city is, in itself, a terrible place. It's not ALL bad. I'm not a huge fan of how large and spread out it is, but I suppose that's a problem in any big city. Obviously, the small town girl in me is floundering in THAT aspect of a big city. The entire problem lies in the people.

Now, don't get me wrong here...I'm not saying that the native Thunder Bayians...Thunder Bayers....whatever they're called....are bad people. I have very little contact with the locals. I suppose that's half the problem; I'm a snobby outsider. Although, I'm not snobby on purpose, I just spend all my time in school and then when I'm out at the bar I'm with my B.Eders....and I don't really venture outside that circle. It's THESE people that are the problem. It is THESE people that I dislike. Again, this isn't to say that ALL the B.Eders are the problem. Some of them are quite nice, and I consider them my friends. The majority, however, I do not. I would venture as far as to call most of them acquaintances, if anything at all. I wouldn't trust these people as far as I could throw them. I've quickly learnt that almost everyone in the B.Ed program is fake. I've done a lot of thinking on this topic, and I've come up with a theory too. My theory is that most people that come to Thunder Bay for teachers college are highly aware that they are in Thunder Bay for a VERY limited amount of time. They are also aware that they are VERY far from their "natural surroundings". This allows them to create a whole new life, one that they can abandon at the end of the year, and never have to deal with again. It's like...a chance for these people to re-write who they are. They can do whatever they want, with very little consequences, because it's not THEIR life, and anything that they do will likely never reach their life "back home". The distance and the shortness of the duration allows people a lot of freedom. As such, I see people cheating on their significant others at a HIGH rate. Its totally unbelievable.

It's also insanely annoying for a person like me. I don't have this "other life" up there. I consider my time up there to be as real as my time "back here". I am myself up there, no holds barred. This has caused me a few problems, because real people clash pretty badly with fake people. I don't take lightly to the games the fake people play (and they play a lot of them). For a time, I got caught up in someone else's fake life, but I eventually realized that I meant absolutly NOTHING to the other person, and quit the situation as quickly as possible. This wasn't a very good idea, because the fake person resented my departure, and quickly spread some pretty vicious rumours about me. I'm not entirely sure what this accomplished, for him, but for me it was a major irritation. While his life up there can stand outlandish fabrications, mine cannot, because mine is real.

Anyways, the point is that I am dreading my return to this fake world...I'm not entirely sure how I should position myself this time around. My first goal was to avoid alcohol at all costs. I'm more than likely going to stick to this goal, but I can honestly forsee a few times when I will slip up. However, it is my opinion that drink only hinders my rational thinking, so I will avoid it as much as possible, to ensure that I don't make any slip-ups that could prove costly to my real life again. I need a clear head up there, to be able to navigate amongst all the fakers. It's a tough go, that's for sure. My second goal is to be extremely cautious about who I confide ANY information to. I think I can trust two people up there...my roommate and one of my male friends. I've been told not to trust the guy, but I'm going with my gut instinct, which tells me he's safe. We'll see how that pans out, in the long run. In my defense, I must admit that I am totally in love with the guy. However, rest easy knowing that he has a girlfriend, and nothing is ever going to happen there. I suffered from a few moral lapses where he is concerned, but I won't allow myself (or him) to go there again. I don't want to be that kind of person, so I won't be. Plain and simple. Anyways. I freakin' love this guy, so I trust him.

So. As much as I am dreading my return to the land of Thunder, I go with the mental preparation necessary to survive. Or at least I hope I do. If you're a praying person, pray for my success. It's going to be a rough few weeks, that's for sure.