I don't think I have disliked a city more than I dislike the city of Thunder Bay. Though I am not entirely sure WHY I dislike Thunder Bay so much, I know that I do. It's kind of weird, because a lot of people ask me to explain my hatred, and I have a really hard time explaining it. It's not that the city is, in itself, a terrible place. It's not ALL bad. I'm not a huge fan of how large and spread out it is, but I suppose that's a problem in any big city. Obviously, the small town girl in me is floundering in THAT aspect of a big city. The entire problem lies in the people.
Now, don't get me wrong here...I'm not saying that the native Thunder Bayians...Thunder Bayers....whatever they're called....are bad people. I have very little contact with the locals. I suppose that's half the problem; I'm a snobby outsider. Although, I'm not snobby on purpose, I just spend all my time in school and then when I'm out at the bar I'm with my B.Eders....and I don't really venture outside that circle. It's THESE people that are the problem. It is THESE people that I dislike. Again, this isn't to say that ALL the B.Eders are the problem. Some of them are quite nice, and I consider them my friends. The majority, however, I do not. I would venture as far as to call most of them acquaintances, if anything at all. I wouldn't trust these people as far as I could throw them. I've quickly learnt that almost everyone in the B.Ed program is fake. I've done a lot of thinking on this topic, and I've come up with a theory too. My theory is that most people that come to Thunder Bay for teachers college are highly aware that they are in Thunder Bay for a VERY limited amount of time. They are also aware that they are VERY far from their "natural surroundings". This allows them to create a whole new life, one that they can abandon at the end of the year, and never have to deal with again. It's like...a chance for these people to re-write who they are. They can do whatever they want, with very little consequences, because it's not THEIR life, and anything that they do will likely never reach their life "back home". The distance and the shortness of the duration allows people a lot of freedom. As such, I see people cheating on their significant others at a HIGH rate. Its totally unbelievable.
It's also insanely annoying for a person like me. I don't have this "other life" up there. I consider my time up there to be as real as my time "back here". I am myself up there, no holds barred. This has caused me a few problems, because real people clash pretty badly with fake people. I don't take lightly to the games the fake people play (and they play a lot of them). For a time, I got caught up in someone else's fake life, but I eventually realized that I meant absolutly NOTHING to the other person, and quit the situation as quickly as possible. This wasn't a very good idea, because the fake person resented my departure, and quickly spread some pretty vicious rumours about me. I'm not entirely sure what this accomplished, for him, but for me it was a major irritation. While his life up there can stand outlandish fabrications, mine cannot, because mine is real.
Anyways, the point is that I am dreading my return to this fake world...I'm not entirely sure how I should position myself this time around. My first goal was to avoid alcohol at all costs. I'm more than likely going to stick to this goal, but I can honestly forsee a few times when I will slip up. However, it is my opinion that drink only hinders my rational thinking, so I will avoid it as much as possible, to ensure that I don't make any slip-ups that could prove costly to my real life again. I need a clear head up there, to be able to navigate amongst all the fakers. It's a tough go, that's for sure. My second goal is to be extremely cautious about who I confide ANY information to. I think I can trust two people up there...my roommate and one of my male friends. I've been told not to trust the guy, but I'm going with my gut instinct, which tells me he's safe. We'll see how that pans out, in the long run. In my defense, I must admit that I am totally in love with the guy. However, rest easy knowing that he has a girlfriend, and nothing is ever going to happen there. I suffered from a few moral lapses where he is concerned, but I won't allow myself (or him) to go there again. I don't want to be that kind of person, so I won't be. Plain and simple. Anyways. I freakin' love this guy, so I trust him.
So. As much as I am dreading my return to the land of Thunder, I go with the mental preparation necessary to survive. Or at least I hope I do. If you're a praying person, pray for my success. It's going to be a rough few weeks, that's for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment