On My Dilema With The Male Gender

I'm not sure if I have touched on this topic already, but I don't particularily care; I am going to discuss it again, because it is something that is bothering me. The topic is, of course, about men. More specifically, it is about my problems in finding and keeping one. Over the past two years, I've had a whirlwind of pointless and meaningless relationships. Everything starts out pretty great; I am always super excited, and optimistic about where things could go. Then slowly, but surely, I become disenchanted. I lose complete interest, and struggle to find ways to get myself out. I usually just let things die, by using a strategy of evasiveness. Code: I am a coward. I can admit it. I don't like the nasty "It's not working" conversation. I hate to have to say "it's not you, it's me", even though in almost all the cases that would be true. I've dated a few really awesome, nice guys in the past few months. I try so hard to stay interested in them, based squarely on the fact that they are such upstanding men. But I just can't do it. I always end up being the bitch that broke up with them by never breaking up with them.

It's terrible.

My friends all tease me. They call my problem my "two month itch", because after two months I always flake out. At first I thought something was wrong with me. Maybe I had committment issues. However, after talking things over with a much wiser woman, I've learnt that the problem isn't necessarily just me. It's both parties involved. It's called chemistry, and it fades fast if its not real. I like guys initially because of the "newness" factor. Everyone is excited during the first few stages of a relationship. All those "firsts" make things exciting. You want to experience the firsts, and seconds...but once things start going into sixths, or sevenths, you start to lose that edge. At this point, I start to see the people not as something new, but as something just there. I lose the excitement, because I'm not interested anymore. I'm bored. The chemistry is gone.

This is completely normal! It happens to everyone. It does take about two months for you to get to know someone, so it makes sense that after two months I know whether or not I like someone enough to keep seeing them.

This means that there IS hope for me. I am not doomed to be in a series of two month long relationships. Well...I am...until I find someone that has stellar chemesty with me. That's not so bleak! There has to be SOMEONE out there that will mix well with me, and keep me excited past the two month mark. Adam was able to do it, even Chad (though that only lasted 4 months and then I grew tired of him). It IS possible for me to have chemistry with people. It just can't be forced. It has to just happen.

As such, I will bide my time going through my two months with various people, and if I don't feel the chemistry brewing after two months, I will allow my itch to do its magic, and let them go.