On My Second Weekend In St. Ives

This weekend I had a pretty decent time! Friday night I wanted to go out, because I felt I needed to celebrate making it through my first week as a teacher. However, it was raining pretty hard, and my roomies were apphrensive about going out in the bad weather. We shared a glass of wine, and then decided that it would be a better idea to stay in, and go out Saturday night instead. I wasn't horribly upset at the idea, since it would allow me the opportunity to stay in and chat up my friends on MSN. Usually I don't get to talk to too many of them, because of the time difference. I go to bed at 10 here, which is only 5 back home. Most people are just not online at 5 o'clock at night; they're usually eating, or working, or doing something altogether much more interesting.

I managed to somehow stay up until 3am Friday night, just talking to people and catching up. It was really nice! I especially enjoyed talking to Christine, since I've honestly felt like I hadn't talked to her since I left Canada! It was craziness, considering we used to chat on MSN on almost a nightly basis. It was nice to be able to talk to her again, and just get that goofy banter going again. Made me feel more at home with myself, despite the fact that I am many miles away. I really do miss everyone very much...to a disgusting degree. I worry constantly that people will move on with their lives, and forget that I'm a part of it. My biggest fear is to come home and have my friends change. I know this is a tad irrational, but I can't really escape the feeling. I don't think I will come back from this experience changed. I might be slightly more worldly, but nothing drastic. I'll be the same old me! Besides, anything that I gain here, any relationships that I may have with people, will be effectively ended once I return. Obviously I won't end all communication with the people I befriend here, but it won't be the same. I won't have as strong a desire to return, as I do to go home. The problem with me returning home though, is that in my absence life DOES go on. People WILL make new friends, lovers, enemies. When I come back, none of that will change, I'll just be a new addition. A complication, maybe, or worse yet, someone to be brushed aside as a nuicance.

Like I said, it's troubling to me. This is what I fear more than anything.

But let's get off this depressing and irrational line of thought, and move on to something more lighthearted.

Saturday I slept in until around 9:30. When I woke up, I decided to try to go to Tesco, to buy some teaching supplies, bits of technology, and food. I walked to the city centre, and caught a bus to the Tesco in Bar Hill. I spent way more time in the store than I had hoped. At almost two hours, it was one of the longest single store shopping sprees I've ever taken part in! I started by going into the clothing department. I wanted to try and find a fairly cheap rain jacket, and umbrella. I found the umbrella straight away, and added it to my cart. The rain jacket, however, was elusive. They didn't have a single one in the store. I was baffelled, but didn't let it get me down.

Next, I wandered into home electronics. I looked at the laptops, and picked the one I want to buy when I save up some money (a Sony Vaio). It wasn't even that expensive! WOO! The only thing nagging at me about buying a laptop is that a) their keyboard is slightly different (the @ symble isn't with the two, but instead is swapped with the " symbol. It's annoying, trust me) and b) I'm not sure if I want to get one that has a British style electrical adaptor. I can only hope they will see me a North American one once I get home. I'll have to check and see if that is possible, before I take the plunge. After looking at the laptops, I picked out a speaker for my iPod (I need my music!) and a webcam. They cost 20 quid each, which I felt was decent enough. Next I went downstairs, and grabbed some white board markers, a hole puncher (they punch their holes different here...binders all have two rings, in the middle, so your paper has to have holes in the middle too. It's strange), some markers, and folders. I wanted to buy some whiteboards, but they were sold out. Hugely annoying! I really needed those more than anything!

Once I got my supplies, I wandered around grocery. While down the ketchup aisle, I scanned the shelves looking for Franks Red Hot Sauce. Much to my excitement, I spotted two tiny bottles squeezed into the shelf. Unable to contain my delight, I reached up, grabbed a bottle, and squeeled with delight.
"Franks!!!!" I said, embracing the tiny bottle to my face.
The lady next to me stared at me as if I was insane, but my happiness was uncontainable. I smiled at her, my eyes brimming with tears, and continued on down the aisle. The happiness I felt from finding the Franks was with me for the rest of the trip. I felt euphoric. I realize you may think this is a bit insane, considering it's only a bottle of hot sauce. However, if you've ever been away from home, you will understand the simple pleasures that come from finding something that you take for granted back home. Franks is that thing for me. I can't survive without it. It makes my food experience complete. I will often pour some in a bowl, just to have the flavour in my mouth now and again. I love the stuff, with all my heart. Oh Franks Red Hots....how you make me happy is inexplainable.

I grabbed as much food as I thought I could carry home, and headed to the checkout. Packing my bags proved to be a challenge, as I had clearly bought more than I had expected. My two bags were bulging and heavy. I put them in the cart, and wheeled myself out of the store towards the bus stop. Once I saw the bus coming, I had to discard the cart, and carry the burden of my bags alone. It was not pleasant. The walk from the station in St. Ives to my house was horrendous. I was cursing the entire time, and vowing never to do this again. My shoulders ached from the weight of the bag, and I felt very much like an ox, struggling under the yoke of an overzealous master.

I finally managed to make it hope. I dropped my bags with relief, and set about putting things away. Once I was in the safety of my room, a knock came to my door.
"Come in!" I said cheerfully.
Roland poked his head in.
"Sheet Kreesta, you shoulda aasked me for a ride to da Tesco. I would have dri-ven you, no problem. You stop being the polite, ookay? Sheet! Seriously!"
I laughed at him, and promised him that next time I would ask him for a ride. I told him I just didn't want to bother him.
He waved me off, saying that it "Is not a problem! Just ask the next time, ookay?"
I assured him that I would, and he left.

My roomies really are quite nice. He actually got MAD at me for NOT asking for a ride! What a super guy! They really do go out of their way to make me feel at home here, which is all I could ask for. Great people, really great.

Saturday night we all decided to go out in St. Ives. It was raining yet again, but we found that my new umbrella fit into Victoria's purse, so we popped it in there, and headed out. Frank joined us this time, which was alright. He was drunk before we left the house, having drank quite a bit of wine. I was tipsy, and feeling quite good.

We went to a nicer place called The Lounge first. It was kind of like a martini bar, decorated very modernly, with white leather couches nestled among chic black coffee tables. The music was really loud, with a DJ upstairs spinning some great tunes. We went and grabbed a seat at the bottom of the stairs on the basement level of the club. As people walked down the stairs, I checked them all out. Roland laughed at me, after awhile, saying "Kreesta, you have hungry eyes!"
I laughed, and assured him that I had eyes for no one here. I still found it funny that he thought I was on the prowl though.

We had two drinks there, then decided to go to the Ice Box, where we could dance. The bouncer at the door checked my passport, and laughed when he realized I was Canadian.
"Why the hell come here, darling?!" he asked me.
"Why the hell NOT!" I said, laughing.

The bar was decent enough. Reminded me, yet again, of the Palace. Same kind of music, same kind of crowd. However, taking after it's namesake as an Ice Box, the place was constantly being pumped full of that smoky foggy stuff that so many clubs use. There was a constant haze in the place, and it made my contacts itch a little. I got used to it after while though, as the drinks started flowing. Victoria and I danced the night away, while Paulo had a dance off with some British guy who kept trying to put the moves on me.

I wasn't interested in the guy though, because he looked to be about 30. Gross. I like them younger, not older. Ha ha ha. Jokes, jokes. But seriously, yuck. To get him to leave me alone, I started to try to catch the attention of a tall, handsome fellow. Every time he caught be looking at him, he looked bewildered, like he wasn't sure I was looking at HIM. However, he eventually got it, and came up and danced with me. I was glad for it, because the unwanted attention of Paulo's dancing mate was getting to be too much for me. I was pretty drunk at this point, and started to dance very seductively with the tall boy. He was loving every minute of it, and kept inching towards my neck, nuzzling me softly. Victoria was dancing with Paulo at this point, and was giggling at me. I winked at her, and she gave me the thumbs up. Eventually, she decided to go sit with Roland, so she waved at me, pointed to our table and then looked at me expectantly. I smiled at her, nodding my head, and she smiled back, walking away. I love unspoken girl talk. I continued dancing with my sexy British man, much to my delight. He was quite strong, and he manipulated my body a few times, spinning me around, and then pulling me in tight. It was great fun! Eventually, he spun me so I faced him, and then he moved his head down as if to kiss me. The booze, at this point, had filled me with unwanton desire, as it is want to do, and I hungrily kissed him. You know how drunk dancefloor making out can be...it was thrilling stuff. I giggled in his ear after, and he laughed back.
"You're absolutley beautiful..." he said.
I giggled more, and shook my head.
"I'm alright..."
"No. You're the most beautiful girl in here...but then again, British women are always at a disadvantage to Canadians," he said.
I laughed again, and asked how he knew I was Canadian, since I hadn't told him that yet.
"I have cousins that live in Canada. You sound like them," he replied.
We danced for while more, and then I felt myself getting too sweaty, and decided to get off the dancefloor. I told him I was tired of dancing, so he took my hand and lead me off the floor. No sooner had we appeared in the bar area, than his friends appeared, saying that it was time for them to leave. They looked at me, approvingly, winking at Jake (I had found out his name during a break in our making out). He asked me for my number, and I drunkenly put it into his phone. I was worried that I had gotten it wrong though...you know how it is when you drink. After he left, I went and sat with Victoria and Roland. We decided to leave shortly, and went to fetch Paulo and Frank.

It was a this point that we all realized we hadn't seen Frank in quite some time. He was completely gone. We looked around the bar, which was not big, and he was not there. Perplexed, I texted his phone, but got no reply. Roland told me not to worry, that Frank often disappeared like that, and that he'd turn up in the morning. Feeding off his lack of concern, I let the matter drop. On the walk back to the car, I heard my phone beep, which signalled a text message. Checking it, I was overjoyed to see it was Jake. He said he was sorry for leaving, but his buddies had been keen to go. He then repeated that I was way to beautiful, and that he hoped to see me again soon. I texted him back, and we exchanged MSN addresses that way. I was squeeling with delight the entire ride home, gushing about how I had gotten the number of a super sexy British bloke. Victoria just grinned at me, listening to me rant.

We headed home, and I decided it was the perfect opportunity to call Trevor and wish him a Happy Birthday. Don't think that all this making out with a hot British guy was throwing me off my main goal at the moment; to ensure that I remain in Trevor's head, if not a little in his heart. Obviously I'm a woman with needs, so I'm not going to live in England and become a nun, while I pin away for someone who lives miles away (and who may not even be interested in me!) I certainly don't expect him to be chaste while I am away, so I feel that the same goes for me. Anything that does happen over here is temporary, but my feelings for Trevor are not. At least, I don't think they are. I still feel pretty strongly about him...I just think we clicked so well, on a level that I haven't felt in ages. Even while kissing Jake, I had Trevor in the back of my mind. I'll admit I worried about how my actions would be interpreted, if he ever found out...but I think he's an outstanding fellow, and I think he is realistic enough to know that a year is a long time to remain totally committed to the IDEA of something (we weren't anything when I left, and we're not anything now, but I hope that we are something some day. That's the idea).

Anyways....It took me TEN attempts to get through to Trevor's cell phone, because I kept drunkenly dialing the wrong number, but eventually I got through. I could tell he didn't know who I was right away.
"HEY!" I said when he picked up
"Hi..." he said, in that tentative way that we all have.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I said.
"Thanks...who is this?!" he asked.
"It's Krista, silly!"
"OH MY GOD! HEY! WOW! Thanks for calling! WOW!"
I talked to him for awhile, with a few brief interruptions(welcome ones) from Holly and Matty. It was so nice to hear familiar voices, and it really made me feel as if I were there. I could picture exactly the scene, in my head, of people sitting around on the back deck, while Trevor spoke with me while inside the family room. I could almost feel the atmosphere, and smell the smells of home. It made me horribly homesick, but at the same time it was just so nice to talk to him, and everyone else! I was pretty hammered, so I'm sure I said some stupid things, but luckily for me I didn't say what I COULD have said...really awful, terrible, embarrassing things....things that I won't even bother to discuss here, as the chance of it getting out is high enough, and I'd rather not be "that girl". I did, however, work on tryin to convince him to come to England. I think he may actually come when Ethan comes, in March...that would be amazing. I would love to have him here, especially after Christmas, because that is going to be the long haul. Anyways, we talked for an hour if not more, and then I decided to let him get back to his birthday celebration. I hung up with reluctance.

When I got upstairs, I noticed I had a new add on MSN. It was Jake! He was still up, so we chatted for ahwile. He eventually called my phone as well, and we talked for a good 45 minutes.
"Hey. We've been talking for 45 minutes!" he said, sounding surprised.
"Yah, I guess so!" I said.
"That's crazy, it hasn't felt that long!!"
"Guess I'm just a good talker..." I said.
"I guess so!" he replied.
We talked for a little while more, and then his phone ran out of time. He messaged me on MSN, embarrassed, but I assured him it was fine. I went to bed around 5, and woke up this morning exhausted. I was slightly mad at myself, for wasting the weekend getting more tired, instead of getting the sleep I so desperately wanted. I am sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I wish the weekends were longer...I am almost dreading the week. I think I am starting to get worried about my teaching. I am worried I'm not cutting it as a teacher in England. How we teach at home is completely different, and while I know I am a good teacher at home, I have doubts about my abilities here. Oh well. I can only do my best, and take from the experience whatever I can. I know it will make me a better teacher in the end, even though I absolutely hate a great deal of it (not all of it though. My year 8s make it all worth it, they are so delightful [Bobby aside]).

Anyways, I should probably end here....

Don't expect a lot of updating during the week. We all know how busy I am with school. I will try my best though.

Love and miss you all!