On Being Sick

Last night I was sick. I should have seen it coming, since Alicia was sick just a few days earlier. However, I was cocky enough to assume that since I am in the best physical shape I've been in in years, my body would be able to fend off any attacker. I also had got my flu shot in November, and felt that would protect me from any flu-like illness. Turns out I was wrong.

Last night, at around 4 pm, I started to feel a little bit off. I had zero appetite, and couldn't drink enough water to quench my thirst. This was troubling to me, and I went and took an Advil. I could feel a fever starting to creep up on me. My arm muscles started to ache. I tried to laugh it all off, and kept saying "I can't get sick. I just can't!" However, as the night progressed, I began to feel worse and worse. I took a gravol, and settled down to lay down. The gravol didn't work though, and I ended up hugging the toilet. It was pretty horrible. I took two more gravol before trying to go to bed. It prevented me from being violently ill, but it certainly didn't stop me from having a fitful, fevered sleep. I had a bad case of the sweats. I had to wash my sheets this morning, cuz they were soaked. It was pretty gross. However, the good thing about sweating out a sickness is that...well it sweats it out! I woke up this morning with no appetite, and feeling a little light headed, but I certainly wasn't feeling barfy, and the fever was gone. So that's good. I just don't want to be sick for my flight home. Which, by the way, in only a little under 48 hours away. Yippeeeee!

One bad thing about being sick was that I missed attending my very last day of University, ever. It was kind of sad, and very anti-climatic. Last year, on my last day at Guelph, I got a profound sense of accomplishment as I left my last class. I remember walking out of the building (the ever lovely Mack building), looking up at the Library, and breathing a large sigh of relief. Walking through campus, through the U.C. and over to the bus stop, I made sure to drink in the atmosphere around me; I tried to memorize the feeling of being on the campus, walking between the buildings, and all that nostalgic stuff. I didn't get to do that here at Lakehead. Yesterday I had no idea that it would be the last time I walked through the doors of the Bora Laskin building. If I had known, I might have relished the moment a little more. I have to go to campus tomorrow, hopefully to hit the gym, should I be up for it, but also to mail my final package home. But the main campus is nowhere near close to the Education building, so it won't be the same. I never really felt that I was a true student of Lakehead University, because my Faculty was so distanced from the main campus. I never visited the main Library, I never really made use of the U.C., never ate in its cafeteria. I did make use of the fabulous campus bar, the Outpost, which is located in the U.C., but that hardly counts.

My Mom made a point of telling me that my education isn't nearly complete, because teachers are lifelong learners. That much is true; I will be taking Additional Qualification (AQ) courses for years to come, to up my pay scale, and to eventually rise to the position of Principal, which is something that I aspire to. I'll be taking courses for the rest of my life. However, its not the same to take online courses, as it is to be a full-fledged student. My days of being a full-time student are over. My life, as a student, is over. I am greatly pleased to be past the poorest stage of my life. I look forward to joining the working world, and amassing some savings. I am ready to begin my life. I am ready to get on with the bigger picture. But I am also saddened that this chapter of my life is finally over. When I graduated from Guelph with my undergraduate degree, I knew that it wasn't over for me. I knew I would be going on to teachers college. Now, however, it is all different. I don't have anything sure to go on to in September. I have an idea, and I have a plan, but I have nothing concrete. It's kind of scary, to be honest. However, I know that the first step towards success is assurance; confidence. I know that I will be able to get supply work in September. At least, I've been told as much. I can only trust that the people who said they would call me will. A lot of my future is resting in the hands of other people. All I can do is rest assured that my abilities as a teacher are strong enough to secure me a position, eventually. I know I am a good teacher, and I know that I deserve to have a classroom of my own. I know that some day I WILL. It may be a few years from now, but once it happens I will be set. So in the meantime, all I can do is follow the leads that present themselves to me, and work as hard as I can to reach my goal.

I know I can do it. No sickness will slight what this day means to me. I am semi-officially the owner of two university degrees. Two degrees that, on paper, mean that I am qualified to teach the young minds of this country. I don't need those pieces of paper to tell me that I can do it; I simply know that I can.

Cheers.