On Filling You In On The Goings On

I noticed the other day that it had been awhile since I had written anything here, and I felt the need to provide an update. My intentions are to make it brief, but often I find that I am quite wordy, and can ramble on unnecessarily. It's a bad habit that I have, but one that I won't soon be losing.

So, where to begin? I suppose I should fill you in on the whole Ryan situation. As it turns out, he's a bit of a douche bag (go figure). I suppose the age thing is to blame, since I doubt he has the maturity levels necessary to really understand half of the shit that he does. Not a good excuse, but an excuse nonetheless. Anyways, a few Friday nights ago, I was out as per usual, having some bevy's. I got slightly intoxicated, and decided it would be a good idea to send him a text message. So I send one off, asking him if he plans on showing his face at the bar tonight. I get a reply asking who I am, and then saying that he's in London for the night. I text back saying my name, and instantly my cell phone starts to ring. Call display informs me that it is him. I eagerly answer, only to be shocked to find an angry girls voice asking me who I am, and how I know Ryan. I panic, and in my drunken state I mumble something about calling the wrong number, and I hang up on her. She tries to call back a few times, but I don't answer. I feel absolutely mortified, like such a big fat loser. He's with a girl! It was obvious to me that she was younger, because if some girl texted my guy, asking a rather innocent question like I did, I would not freak out and call the person back. Kind of childish, if you ask me. And taking such an accusatory tone? Not adult. Anyways, I sulked to myself for awhile, cursing myself for doing that. It had taken a lot of nerve for me to text his phone, and it had turned out horribly.

As I was sitting there, stewing in my own emotional turmoil, I heard someone say my name. I look over, and see this guy "G", who had gone to my high school. We had chatted briefly a few times since I had been back, and he had tried to take me on a date the week before, but I had kind of blown him off; I wasn't really feeling it. Suddenly I felt like I needed the attention, to prove to myself that I wasn't a total tool. So I put on my best game face, and we flirted it up. Turns out he wasn't drinking, and so at the end of the night he offered to drive me home. I was shit-canned, so I agreed. However, he didn't stop at my house, instead he kept driving.
"Where are we going?!" I ask him.
"Macs...I'm gonna get you some Gatorade...sober you up a bit," he says.
So we grab some Gatorade, then head back to my house. My parents are gone for the weekend, in Niagara Falls, otherwise I wouldn't have invited him in.
So we go in, and I quickly down the drink, thirsty for anything non-alcoholic. We put in Fight Club, and I marvel over how hot Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are. After awhile, he finally tries to kiss me, and I'm all for it. Mission accomplished, I do not suck. Drunken me tries to persuade him to stay the night, but thankfully he does not. In the morning I was glad he had turned me down; that wouldn't have gone over well with the siblings.

I had a buck and doe the following night, which ended up at the bar as well. G was there again, and this time drinking. Again we got our flirt on, and were that disgusting pair that is all hands and lap sitting. I am ashamed to admit it sober, but when I'm drunk I do stuff sober me wouldn't dream of doing. It's unfortunate, but it happens to the best of us.

Anyways, we hung out a few times this week, and I kind of have a crush on him. Not entirely sure where it's going though. He is really not my type at all; he is very rough around the edges. He works in construction, so he has a hot body. However, he smokes, drinks, and does pot more than I like...again, it's more of a side-effect of what he does, more than anything else. He's also a bit crass...very rough when he talks. Not the most intellectual guy, but by no means stupid. He's smart in his own right. He's also very athletic, which I find irresistible. Very hot body. Nice hair. Sexy raspy voice. He's got his perks.

Last night though, I think I may have put a kibosh on things. I was drunken texting him, and got a little bit snarky when he didn't come out, and then refused to come get me. In hindsight, I can understand his refusal, since he had to work today...however drunken me was being kind of stupid, as is often the case. Oh well. If I fucked it up, then it wasn't meant to pan out. I didn't see it going far anyways, but it was nice to have someone around.

Oh well, plenty of fish in the sea, and all that crap n' junk.

Tonight is another Bx 93 Dance. Hopefully my ex won't be at this one to cause more drama. That's really the last thing I want to deal with right now. So not in the mood for it.

Anyways, I have to go straighten my hair, and put in my extensions. My friend Christine should be here soon.

Cheers!