On Conversing With An English Bloke and My Dilema

So I mentioned earlier how I rejoined the Myspace community right? Well, being the slightly shy person that I am, I had a really hard time of going about actually FINDING British people to add on there as my friends. I know that Myspace is a lot less formal than Facebook, in terms of adding friends. In fact, it's probably the most informal social networking site ever, because the privacy restrictions are few and far between. Anyone can find you, really. They may not be able to search your real name, but they can do a browse of your profile through proximity...the whole postal code thing. Anyways, I've been on there for a few weeks now I think, and just recently I was able to add my 28th friend. Big deal, I know. Try to contain your awe at what a social butterfly I am.

Anyways, one of the first messages that I received was from this rather quiet looking, unassuming English guy. His initial message said something about how he doesn't often stumble across Canadian people moving to England, looking for friends, and thought that he would drop me a polite hello. Based on my previous Myspace experience, which involved a lot of disgusting messages from perverts, this message was quite fresh and light. I decided to take him up on his polite offer, and messaged him back. After a few days of messaging back and forth that way, he asked how he could find me on Facebook today. I explained that, as a teacher, no one can find me, but that I would be happy to find HIM if he would hit up me up with his full name and e-mail address. So five minutes later he provides me with this information, and I search and add him. We chat for a bit using the extremely lame Facebook chat feature, and then I suggest moving to MSN (a logical progression). So we add each other to MSN, and continue our chat there. I must say, this fellow has turned out to be a very welcome addition to my life, thus far!! He is very very helpful about ANYTHING that I ask him about England! I was so afraid that people would find my ignorance on living in England annoying, but he really doesn't seem to detest my curiosity! He even gave me a bunch of different websites to visit, in terms of finding housing, or finding a room in a house with roomies (he told me his friend used the site, and is quite happy where he is living because of it), or even getting a cell phone!! I am so excited to go now! I almost feel as if I have a friend already!!

In fact, he told me today that, by some weird coincidence, he happened to book his holidays (he did this ages ago, apparently) the week of my arrival! Fabulous! He told me that if I wanted someone to show me around Cambridge, he'd be more than happy to do that! AND he said he's a history geek like me, and that if I ever wanted a buddy on my lame history trips around England, he'd accompany me.

Now, I am sure some of you are thinking this is all rather strange. However, I don't think it is at all. Before I went to Thunder Bay, I was chatting to people in my program on Facebook before I even met them as well. In fact, I was invited to a party before I even LEFT for Thunder Bay (via Facebook). I ended up going to the party, on my SECOND night in the city, without knowing WHO would even really be there...and it turned out really well! The people that I met at that party were the people I hung out with for the rest of my time in Thunder Bay. So clearly, in my experience, it is worthwhile to go out on a limb and try to meet new people. Just make sure you've got an exit strategy, in case it turns out to be weird! HA! Although, I usually don't let things get weird, because even though I may be shy, I try to be as friendly as possible in all situations, which tends to diffuse a lot of sticky, awkward situations. I'm pretty good at pretending to not be shy, and fitting in with new crowds.

I think I will continue to befriend Chris, because he seems like a genuinely nice person. If I keep chatting with him, up until my departure, I will definitely arrange to get his number from him, so that we can meet up when I arrive in Cambridge. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, during my first week, because it could get kind of lonely and scary otherwise. He can also show me around the countryside where I will be working, so that I get acquainted with the area before I have to start teaching. I don't see anything bad about this! But...then again, I am a very trusting person, so perhaps someone with a more cynical outlook would disagree with me.

He also kind of reminds me of...and please don't punch me when I say this...Adam. He has the same look about him. Although he's much edgier...I mean, he has a tattoo on his arm, and he dresses much trendier. A bit "scene", if you ask me, but I kind of dig that. NOT that I am looking at this in a romantical sort of light. I assure you I am not. Although, I wouldn't stop anything from happening, once I arrived, if that's the way the cookie crumbled. However, I am NOT implying that I WANT the cookie to crumble that way. I don't. If the world were a perfect place, K would fall madly in love with me and want to stick it out for a year, or something. HAHAHA! Man, even just writing that I realized how completely far fetched and ridiculous that scenario is. HA HA HA! Oh man, I don't really even WANT that, I don't think. God. I want K to fall madly in love with me NOW...and they cry when I leave...but I honestly want it to end there. Honestly. I want to go to England with a fresh slate. No men in sight, so that I may wine and dine (eat fish and chips and drink pints) with Britain's finest and sexiest. Mmmmmm.

Ha ha ha. I'm honestly laughing in my head right now at the fact that I wrote down that outlandish suggestion. Ri-god-damn-diculous.

Oh, I've got other news to blabber about. Alright. This may be news to you Andie, but it probably isn't...either way, don't be mad. Alright. So here's the background story:

I've got this friend, Greg (yep....you know where this is going, don't you). I had a crush on him when I first met him. This was back when I worked at Roots. At the time, he was living with my Boss. Anyways, whatever, nothing ever came of that, and I didn't particularly want it to. Last summer, he had a mega crush on Andie (at least, that was my opinion of the situation...cuz he was always trying to get in her bed, lol), so he was around the house a lot. The three of us had a bunch of movie and junk food nights, strictly on a friendly level. Fine by me. I was seeing someone at the time anyways, who I was really into at the time. All was well. Then I went up to Thunder Bay, had to break it with the boy. C'est la vie. Greg goes off to college, and must have gotten REALLY bored, because he started to message me on MSN more. So we had lots of conversations, and kind of developed a pretty solid girl-guy friendship. He would ask me advice on girls, and I would ask him advice on guys. Turned out we were very similar, when it came to relationships; we hit a stumbling block after a certain period of time, where we became really disinterested in the person we were with, and ended up breaking their hearts. We had a lot of conversations talking about what this meant, mostly debating whether or not were were datable people. We still haven't really come to a solid conclusion on that...though he likes to say that we're just picky, and when the right person comes along we won't get sick of them after an unspecified amount of time. He's probably got a point there.

Anyways, our talking eventually lead to flirting, as it always does. When I came back to Guelph in the fall, Andie had a party welcoming me back, in which I ended the night by totally leaving with Greg. I lied and said nothing happened, but it had to be pretty obvious that we banged. Sorry. I guess I was ashamed that it happened, for whatever reason. At the time, I chalked it up to drunkeness, and vowed that it wouldn't happen again. Greg and I talked about it, and we both agreed that it was just two friends banging.

So I go back to Thunder Bay, we resume our friendly/flirty banter. I return south again. (This is the part you might NOT be aware of Andie.) My first weekend back, I plan to go to Guelph again, to have yet another welcome back party. The only difference THIS time is that, prior to my return, there was some serious serious dirty talk going on between Greg and I. So, I decide that prior to going to Guelph for the evening, I am going to drive to Toronto for the day, hang out with Greg, and then bring him with me back to Guelph for the party. We work out the details, and it's done. I'm not even going to lie, the sex we had was fucking mind blowingly amazing. Best sex ever. We both decide not to tell anyone, because it could potentially get weird...and besides, we'd both agreed that it was mostly friends-with-benefits sex. Just really good friends-with-benefits sex. Ha ha! Anyways, he came and partied with us again, and I ended up bringing him back with me to Andies (SO EMBARRASSING) where we had more drunken friends-with-benefits sex. And it was just as good. Again, sorry Andie. That futon was a nasty sex machine, and you know it. HA HA!

THEN the NEXT time I came up, he was in Guelph again, and yet again we had wickedly awesome friends-with-benefits sex. Fucking amazing stuff. Ha ha!

Anyways, this weekend I am going to Guelph again, and am super amped for it. Greg is also going to be there, which is totally fine. We're still friends, just friends. I talk to him ALL THE TIME about the situation with K, getting his advice and feedback. He helps me realize I'm being a stupid girl, and most of the time decodes K's retarded behaviour (they're very similar in personality, and age ha ha ha!). However, last weekend I had a bit of a spazz out concerning K, and I vented to Greg. He talked me through it, and was a very good friend....I was seriously being a fucking idiot. I can't even get into detail about how STUPID I was being...If I had been Greg, I would NOT have put up with my bitching. Anyways, he did, and he talked me out of my retardardness.

Well...today I was talking to him, after a brief hiatus, and he told me that since he put up with my bullshit on the weekend, I owed him a kiss. Huh. I thought that was kind of...odd. However, I told him that a kiss was pretty innocent, and that I could give him that. Then he told me that if I wanted to gain back his respect, I'd have to do a lot more than that. I asked him what he meant, and he said it depended on what rules I wanted to set. Things were getting decidedly more flirty. However, feeling rather flirtatious, I told him that I really only needed to have "moderately good rules, since I'm technically still single". Gulp. Anyways, it kind of went back and forth this way, until he said something about how I couldn't get pouty this weekend. I replied by saying that I was bringing my party panties, so no pouting would take place. He replied by saying that if I wanted help losing the party panties, I could holler at him (or something to that effect). I said I would keep him in the loop.

Ugh. I have no idea what I am doing. I like K. I like K a lot. However, I really feel like he doesn't like me NEARLY as much as I like him. And Greg made a good point the other day, saying that I put K on a pedestal, when he doesn't even deserve to be on one. I mean, I am not a pedestal for K. If he has me on a pedestal, he is VERY good at acting like he doesn't. He doesn't seem the least bit concerned about not seeing me this weekend, and hasn't really even made any sort of gesture to show that he wants me to be a "good girl" this weekend in Guelph. You know, most boyfriends would say something like "Don't let too many guys hit on you" or something, right? Not K. He could care less. I don't think he would cheat on ME,but then again...who the hell knows. Maybe he would. Obviously I don't want to cheat on him either...but then again, would it even be cheating? I mean, he said we are "something" (direct quote), but he never explained what the something is. We've never had a talk about what we are, about the rules of our relationship, or even if this IS a relationship. It's just "something". I don't even know what that MEANS!? Can you cheat on "something", or are the lines of "something" so fluid that there isn't really any line to cross? I honestly cannot predict how I will act on Saturday. A part of me wants to just give in to the awesome (its sooo good, honestly)friends-with-benefits sex....because it really would just be meaningless sex between two friends. I have absolutely no romantic feelings for Greg. I can say that honestly, and with a straight face (so no worries there, Andie). I DO have feelings for Kyle though...but I don't know if I can trust them. I don't know if it's worth the effort, because I'm leaving, and he's leaving, and at the moment he fails to want to recognize this as anything more than "something". I'm so conflicted...it's ridiculous.

Anyways, I wanted to give the full scope of the situation so that people could comment....tell me what you think I should do. Be a good girl, or be a good girl gone bad? (Just so you know, I'm leaning towards the former...I will more than likely forgo the amazingly good friend sex, because my feelings for K are pretty strong...as much as I wish they weren't, since I seriously doubt he feels the same way about me)