On Network Switches on Facebook, and the Deluge of Men

So I recently decided to make a pre-emptive network change on Facebook, and have switched from London, Ontario to London, United Kingdom. I also dropped my security features, so that people can find me. The way I see it, students don't even know about my existence yet, so they won't be searching for me. Once I start teaching, I will get those features back up and running. In the meantime, I want to be available to anyone overseas. Gotta make friends SOMEHOW! Also, I'm finding that the people I am talking to, in terms of finding housing, are keen to befriend me, and they've all asked for my Facebook, to get an idea of what I'm like as a person. So it made sense to drop the high level of security.

Well, I've been hit on a lot, since making the switch. Most of them have been duds, but there was one extraordinarily hot man that I've started to chat with. He's 31 though, but he certainly doesn't look that old. He's blonde, with a killer bod, and is a lead firefighter. Can you say rawr? Anyways, we're just kind of chatting it up, and he's giving me some advice on living in the area (he lives in Cambridge now, but he grew up in the village I will be teaching in). He hasn't really hit on me, which is pretty fabulous, but I definitely think he is buttering me up. Who knows, if he doesn't give me the creepy vibe before I depart, I may arrange for him to show me around the town. Can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket!

But enough of that! I have other news to disclose!

If you go back a few months, you will recall me talking about my friend Adam in Thunder Bay. The one that had a girlfriend, and was always hitting on me. You know...the one I'd fooled around with on more than one occasion, and whom I professed a certain "love" for? Yes, that Adam. Well, I get a message from him on MSN last night, saying that he is going to come to my goodbye party! AH! I am so excited for him to come! He's going to be bringing some of his friends, which will be fine, because it will mean more fun times! As it stands, the party will be mostly girls, or at least that's what I am thinking. Anyways, I am just amped that he wants to come and see me off. Secretly, I think I know why...I think he kind of feels the same way I do about the whole situation. We definitely had a spark of some sort, that we started to try and deny, because of his girlfriend. I think if he comes, and if he is attentive to me (which I think he will be, why else would he come all this way), that something may happen between us. Maybe one last go at it, before I leave the country. I know he still has a girlfriend, but I don't think that I will be able to stop myself. There is just something about him...something that is so irresistible to me. From the very first night we met, I wanted him....which is weird, because he's not stereotypically attractive. In fact, I'm thinking most of my friends won't even find him cute...but to me, he is stunning. Plus his personality wins me over, every time. He just makes me laugh. Ugh. If he does come, I can guarantee I will be totally smitten by him.

We'll have to wait and see how that plays out. Regardless, I was surprised that he is going to come, and remained amped about it. It's going to be an amazing night, I can feel it now.

There may be some awkwardness, as many of my former lovers will be present...but that's nothing I haven't coped with before. I just hold my head high, and keep the past where it belongs; in the past. The night isn't about what happened, but about what is going to happen.

OH! Gosh! I almost forgot! Remember how a few posts back I was talking about my friend Josh? He's the guy who clearly had a mega crush on me, despite the fact that I am going to England. Yah well...his puppy dog affection for me took a turn for the worse, when I went with our "gang" to his cottage in Long Point, this past weekend. Unfortunately for me, I got drunk and ended up sleeping with him. If I had been at all sober, this would not have happened, as I not in the least bit attracted to him. As vain as this sounds, I am far too good looking for the guy. Also, he doesn't have nearly enough ambition or drive to date me. I'm a very picky girl, and I like my men to be as driven as myself. Case in point, he is going to back school in the fall to complete High School. I teach it. He's in it, at the ripe age of 23. Not for me. I mean, kudos for him for making the effort to go back, but its too little too late for a girl like me. Besides, I'm going to England. But I digress. He got lucky that I was drunk and horny, and let him sleep with me. It was still awkward, despite my drunkeness, as he gushed to me that he "liked me a lot" and that being with me was "everything he hoped it would be". Barf! In the morning I tried to be as casual as possible, but it was obvious to me he was already in love. He fawned over me the rest of the day, trying to do every little thing for me, while staring at me with these big pathetic eyes. What was worse was the fact that everyone else heard us doing it, and wouldn't stop teasing me all day. They started to call him "Jackrabbbit Josh", which was immensely embarrassing for me. I wanted to die. I shot dagger eyes at Sheena all day, but she wouldn't stop. I could have embarrassed her just as much, since I had heard her having sex with Holly's brother Nick, but I refrained from doing so out of respect for her. Too bad she couldn't return the favour.

Anyways, after Saturday night, I was bombarded with messages from Josh, asking me to hang out, or watch a movie with him. I kept avoiding his suggestions, and resolved to only be around him when the rest of the gang was present. Tuesday night, everyone came over to play Rock Band, have some drinks, and watch a movie. He was there, and all night he kept looking at me with this disgusting look of longing. To make matters worse, my friend Meaghan was there, and she has a huge crush on Josh. I was fairly certain she saw the looks he was giving me, but I ignored him all night. I literally said two words to him. I hoped he had gotten the message. Everyone started to filter out around 11, though he tried to linger behind. However, I faked exhaustion, and he reluctantly left with Meaghan. Thank GOD.

About ten minutes later, as I was about to shut down my computer, I get an MSN message from him. In it, he asks me if he can rant to me a minute. Knowing where this is going, I reluctantly say yes.
He immediately launches into a sob story, about how he's such an idiot for falling for me. He said that from the moment he met me he knew I was leaving, but he couldn't help liking me.
"There's something - no, a lot of things - about you that draw me to you," he said at one point. "I'm such an idiot, because I always fall for the girl I can't have. I like you. A lot. A lot a lot."
Gawd. I had no idea what to say to that. I felt bad, because I feel nothing for the guy, short of sheer revulsion now. I can't stand when guys are pansy ass silly nannies. Grow a pair, and be a man for facks sake!
Anyways, I tried to handle the situation with as much tack a possible, letting him down as easy as possible.
He didn't make it easy for me though. At one point he asked me if what had happened on Saturday would ever happen again, because it had been "Everything, and more, than he had expected" and that it had been "Amazing, but that he knew it was just sex to me, and that hurt more than anything".
Good gawd....I tried to tell him that I didn't think it could happen again, because I was leaving in a few weeks time, and it would just be "mean". I also played the "Meaghan likes you, and I don't want to make her mad" card as well.
In the end, he admitted to me that he had "shed a tear or two tonight" over me, which made me want to vomit in disgust. He cried over me? Over one night of drunken, meaningless sex? What the FACK!?

I was talking to Christine on MSN, as all this was going down, and made a comment about him being a stage five clinger. She got a good laugh out of that, and called him an "F5", and then said she may as well call me Helen Hunt. It was a pretty good laugh, and definitely took my mind off the awkwardness that was taking place in my conversation with Josh.

I held in my disgust, as I tried to reject him as nicely as humanly possible. In the end, I think I succeeded. I still broke his needy little heart, but that couldn't be helped. In the meantime, I've resolved not to go anywhere where he is going to be, without a large buffer of people. He is having people over to his cottage next weekend, and I am determined NOT to go. I wouldn't make the mistake of sleeping with him again, even if I was shit canned half way to death. However, I just want to avoid the awkwardness. I think the best thing for the entire situation would be for him to see me out, flirting with another guy...perhaps even leaving with one. That'd make him think I was a slut, would be a lot better than the saint he thinks I am now.

Ugh.

Why is it that we can get men to fall hopelessly in love with us, but its never the men we want?

I shake my fist at you, life.

Cheers!