If I've learned anything over the past few days, it's that London really is the most expensive city in the world. They literally charge you for everything, right down to your bodily fluids. Yes, they charge you to pee. 30 pence, to be exact, if you have to go at the train station. Outrageous! Anyways, I suppose I will try to start at the beginning!
Tuesday morning, I woke up early so that I could go to SVC and meet with the second head of English. She was a very nice woman, who was very bubbly and energetic, and eager to get me settled and started. I think I will have a fairly solid support base at the school. They are all aware that I'm Canadian, and therefore not totally comfortable with the British curriculum. They're also very flexible, in that they constantly are telling me I have complete freedom with how I teach, as long as I meet the objectives. Definitely a plus. I also found out that the school will provide me with a laptop! Not too bad at all, eh? I don't think I get to take it home or anything, nor would I, but it still is a great help to be able to have my OWN laptop to do school work on. Every classroom also comes with one of those new-fangled projector boards. They are much more useful than those ancient projectors that we still use too much in Ontario. Now I don't have to worry about making overheads, which I usually dread (its so easy to melt the plastic when you do the photocopy wrong).
After about an hour at the school, I walked back to the B&B, and packed for my trip to London. I wasn't sure what to bring, so I brought a bit of everything, in the hopes that I could mix and match to make outfits that worked.
I had to take a county bus from Swavesey to Cambridge, which was ridiculously cheap and a very nice ride. I got to see a few of the area villages, all of which are equally quaint and cute. I wasn't nervous at all this time, since it felt like I'd just done the trip, in the other order. I knew where I had to go this time, so things were slightly more familiar.
However, once I arrived in London, things really started to go downhill for me. My first impression of London was not good, not good at all.
So I got off the train, and then headed out of King's Cross, with the intention of getting a cab to take me to the accommodations that Dream had arranged. I had, naively, written down the name of the Hotel, but not the actual address or phone number. I stupidly assumed that the cab drivers would know all the hotels in London. I honestly cannot explain where that stupidity came from, because if I tried to think of every hotel in Toronto I couldn't do it either...so why would ANYONE be able to do it in London, which is bigger? So dumb of me!
Anyways, I get in the line for the taxis, and eventually am ushered into one. The cab driver asks me where I want to go, and I tell him the Vandon House. He stares straight ahead, with this stupid look on his face, like he has no idea what I'm saying.
"Where?" he asks.
I start to panic, immediately.
"Um...the Vandon House Hotel? I think it's on Vandon Street..."
"Are you sure it's in London, never heard of it..."
"Yah...positive...." I say.
He goes on his CB, and asks dispatch to call him back after searching for the hotel name in the directory. They call his cell phone, for which he has a blue tooth earpiece. I can't hear anything from the other side, only him as he keeps repeating "Vandon", spelling it out letter by letter.
He finally turns to me, after an agonizing few minutes, and informs me that dispatch cannot find the hotel in directory, and if it's not there, it must not exist.
I stare at him, dumbfounded.
"It does exist, I have an e-mail with the address..."
"Yah well you should have brought that, huh miss?" he asks me, snarkily.
"Well I didn't think it'd be a big deal...." I reply.
He talks to someone a bit more on his phone, asking them to check Google Earth, or Google Maps. However, apparently they don't know how to work the Internet, because they also come back with nothing. Meanwhile, I notice the money is slowly going up. I start to get annoyed, not wanting to pay to SIT in a cab, while the cabby haggles with me over whether or not a place exists.
Finally he turns to me, as cold as ice, and says "I don't know what to tell you...it just doesn't exist. The address is not online, it's not in the phonebook, not even the cops could find it now..."
My eyes start to tear up, as I start worrying about all the ways I could have been scammed. I start thinking the whole teaching job was a total scam, and that they just wanted to get my....my what?! I don't have any MONEY, ha ha ha! Anyways, let's not detract from how scared I was...I was terrified. I was sitting in a cab, with literally no idea of where to go.
"You owe me 5 quid though," the cab driver says to me.
My jaw literally drops.
"What? For what?!" I ask him.
"For wasting my time," he says.
I start to really cry now, totally frustrated that this asshole a) told me my destination didn't exist and then b) wants to suck money out of me for NOTHING.
He locks the doors, and refuses to let me leave until I pay him the 5 pounds. I show it through the hole in the divider at him, and jump out of the cab, yelling "Thanks for nothing, you asshole!"
"Go check the Internet in the station!" I hear him yell at me.
I'm still not sure why he told me to do that, but he did.
So I take his advice, against my best interest (I really didn't have much else to do), and walk into St. Pancras station. The building itself looks like a large gorgeous church on the outside, but on the inside it is the vision of modernity. It's the Eurostar Station (the train that takes you under the Channel to France), but it also has almost a mall-like atmosphere to it. There are cute cafe's and restaurants inside, a grocery store (Marks & Spencer), as well as high vaulted glass ceilings. It was lovely. I walk into one of the cafes, buy a coke, and ask where I can find wireless Internet access. The teenager behind the counter shrugs at me, and says he doesn't know. I leave, frustrated. However, outside there are a number of tables, and many people sitting at them have laptops! I boldly approach one table, and ask if he has wireless access.
"Yes of course!" he says.
Elated, I run into the center of the mall/station, plop myself flat on the floor, and dig around in my bags until I pull out my laptop. Turning it on, I quickly find I DO have Internet access. I thank my luck that it was available to me, because otherwise I'd have been screwed. So I checked my e-mail, wrote down the address, and hopping into another cab. This fellow took me where I wanted to go, thank gawd.
When I got to the hotel, I was less than impressed. Based on North American standards, the hotel was really more of a boarding house, and it wasn't the classiest place. My room left much to be desired, as the pictures on Facebook will show. It was small, like a dorm room, with a single bed, a wardrobe, a small ancient TV, and a sink. No toilet, no shower, just a sink. I cringed, and wondered how I was going to survive. I also found out that to use the Internet, I would have to pay a pound per half hour. That's basically two dollars Canadian for half an hour. What a ridiculous markup! I paid it, anyways, because I had so many people I wanted to talk to. I spent two hours on it, which went by far too fast! After it timed out, I decided I was hungry, so I decided to venture outside alone. I walked up to the first pub I saw, and noticed a tall fellow also reading the outdoor menu. I didn't mind what was on it, but noticed the pub was full, so there was no sense in looking. Unsure of where else to try, I decided to go back to the hotel to ask the receptionist. When I got into the hotel again, I saw the fellow again, and decided to see if he was part of Dream as well! Turns out he was, so we decided to forego eating alone, and join each other. Darren, which I soon discovered was his name, and I went to a lovely little pub (see picture) and had a delicious meal! After, he walked with me to Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Parliament, and the London Eye. It was a nice walk, and seeing London lit up at night really won it a little more respect in my eyes. It really is a breathtakingly beautiful city.
The next morning, I met Darren and his roomie Andrew (a fellow Canuck, from London) for breakfast. We spent the remainder of the day attending a boring seminar/meeting about teaching in England, and about how to get ourselves paid. It was fairly informative, but I found that most of the stuff was kind of common sense. Besides, they provided us with a booklet that explained everything, so hashing it out repeatedly really got on my nerves. I was overjoyed when the day ended, and we headed to a pub for free drinks and dinner.
At dinner, I met the other Canadians, and we all bonded and had a lovely time getting drunk. Hilariously enough, it was the group of Canadians that ended up staying at the pub the longest, just drinking and chatting till our hearts content. We really are a lovely, drunken people. Gotta love that. One of the Brits stayed with us though, the guy that was at my interview in Toronto in May. Wayne. He is by far the most dreamy person I have seen yet! I was staring at him ALL DAY! I tried ti work up the courage to talk to him, but I couldn't do it until I was tipsy. How sad, eh? Anyways, apparently I gushed to everyone how I had a crush on Wayne, so this one girl, Karen, went up to him and chatted him up, saying that "a lot of girls" thought he was very attractive, or something. After she had that conversatin with him, I kept noticing him giving me sneaking glances. I wasn't sure what to make of them! I just smiled coyly back at him. We tried to convince him to come out to the clubs with us, but he had to work the next morning, so he bailed after we left the pub. I was sad! However, Karen told me that British guys are not as straightforward as Canadian men, and she said she'd seen him shooting me glances, and said that was how British guys tried to show they were interested, or something. I complained about how stupid that was, as I'd have "loved to shag" Wayne. Oh drunk me, always a classy lady. Ha ha ha! Anways, after Wayne left we all drunkenly stumbled home. This was at about 9:30 pm. London gets bizarrely dead at night, unless you're on the Thames, so we didn't run into too many people. We were going to go to a club, but decided to just stay in a room and drink beers all night. It was very much like being back in University, drinking in a dorm room. Regardless, it was very fun, and I enjoyed the company a lot! However, it was slightly awkward, as one of the guys, Andrew (Darren's roomie) was clearly in LOVE with me. As he got drunker and drunker, he got more and more ballsy and vocal about his admiration of me. It was kind of cute, but at the same time it was almost too much. He started gushing about how he'd been captivated by me since we'd met at Breakfast, and that he'd been sneaking looks at me all day, cuz I was so hot. He went on to gush about how "cool" and "fun" I am, and that I'm so much different than other girls, because I am "real". What is that??!?! Anyways, he followed me to my room, and tried to get into bed with me, but I wasn't feeling him at all....I think we all know that I still have feelings for M, and I really don't want to fuck that up, even though he'd never find out. It's just not worth it. Besides, I am not interested in Andrew at all. At all. Not for me. Still, made for an awkward situation, cuz even in the morning he was still in love with me....oh well! I won't see him a whole lot now, so he'll get over it.
This morning, the Canadians stuck together again, on making our way back to our prospective towns. As it turns out, most of the people I befriended are teaching near me, so we all exchanged e-mails and Facebooks, and agreed to keep in touch. You can never give up Canadian companionship, because we just GET each other, you know? We can share the same jokes, and all that.
The trip home was uneventful. I took the Cambridge Express, and then bought a Day Trip pass for the bus ride home. I stopped in Bar Hill, at the Tesco, on the way back to Swavesey. I had to pick up a duvet cover, some sheets, a cell phone, a blow dryer, a razor (I left it at home, but brought the blades...stupidly enough), and some towels. It was kind of nice to go shopping for ME again....I liked it. Was a good feeling. Buying a phone was interesting to. I walked up to one I liked, said I wanted it, and was handed a box. Easy as that. I activated it, and was ready to roll.
When I got back to Swavesey, I dropped off my stuff, and hopped another bus to St. Ives, to view that second room. I had a quick look at it, decided I liked it much more than the room in Willingham, and decided to take it instead. I'll be living with a couple, a man and a woman my age, a 23 year old guy, and possibly another 24 year old guy. I just liked the prospect of having people my own AGE around; that's instant friends!! It was also cleaner, my room was nicer (its purple!), and St. Ives is AMAZING! It's so absolutely gorgeous, I can't believe it. I will take pictures on the weekend, for sure. It's just....amazing.
I e-mailed Henry as soon as I got home, to tell him I was unfortunately backing out. I invented a bit of a lie, because I felt bad, but that's that. I !didn't sign anything, so I'm not breaking any contracts or laws, just perhaps being a slight asshole. Oh well. I'll never see him again, so who cares, right?
I move into the place in St. Ives tomorrow. I am excited, and can't wait to get settled. Should be fun!
More later!
Cheers
A moderatly well-written account of a 20-something Canadian woman's experiences in the world. Be warned...this could get personal.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
On The Past Few Days: This Is A Long One!
August 24, 2008
So I’m initially writing this in WordPerfect, because I don’t have internet access at the Bed and Breakfast in Swavesey (I found out it’s pronounced Swa-veh-say, after saying it Swa-ves-sey to the cab driver)....at least not at the moment. The woman who runs the B&B is on holiday, and no one is really around for me to ask.
Getting here was easier than I had thought. I took the shuttle to Gatwick Airport, from my hotel, and was able to easily find out where I had to go to catch a train to London. I couldn’t get one directly to Kings Cross (the main station) in London, but the sales lady informed me that I could take the underground from London Bridge to Kings Cross. It cost me 9 pounds to get the train to London Bridge, which I thought was decent enough. It took about 30 minutes, so the journey went by quite fast. Unfortunately, I had to stand the entire time...for a train coming directly out of an airport, you’d think they’d have wider aisles in the train, but they didn’t. I couldn’t fit my suitcase down the aisles, so I had to stand in the doorway of the train. It was a bit annoying, and embarrassing, because it made me look glaringly like a foreigner. I wasn’t alone in looking stupid though, as two Americans were standing across from me as well, with absolutely no place to stand. (OOO I must interject here for a moment...I have the television on here as I write this - it only has 4 channels though, since it’s got through bunny ears - and have it on T4...and guess what is on?!?! FRIENDS! Its surprisingly VERY comforting to see my FAVOURITE show on the television here. Makes me feel less anxious).
Once I got to London Bridge, I followed the signs to the Underground. I found a tickets/assistance booth, and asked how I could get to Kings Cross. The man was quite friendly with me, and told me I had to buy a ticket and then use the North Terminal. I bought the ticket for 4 pounds, and went in the direction that he told me. I headed in that direction, and noticed it required me to get up a short flight of stairs. Looking down at my suitcase and other baggage, I wonder how in the HELL I was supposed to lug it all up the stairs. My suitcase is VERY heavy; I did, after all, have to pack my entire life into it. I approached the stairs with apprehension, and then turned and tried to walk up the stairs backwards, pulling my suitcase up step by step. This was a lot harder than I had assumed it would be. I got it up two steps, and was clearly struggling with it. My two carry-on bags were sliding down my shoulders, causing me to lose my balance, and stumble sideways. Frustrated and embarrassed, I righted myself, and tried to figure out my next move. Fortunately for me, a lovely British gentleman saw me struggling, and offered to carry my bag up the stairs for me. I gladly accepted his offer. At the top, I thanked him profusely, and he kindly said “Not a problem!” Next hurdle? In order to get to the different platforms, you have to put your ticket into a machine and then these gates will open for you. I walked over to the oversized turnstile, so that I could fit through with my baggage, and put my ticket in the slot. It sucked it up, but nothing happened. I started to panic, because I didn’t want to have to pay for a different ticket. A lady with a young boy came up behind me, and giggled.
“You’ve just got to pull the ticket out of the top, dear” she said, pointing.
I looked to where she was pointing, and noticed my ticket sticking out. Feeling embarrassed once again, I thanked her and pulled it out. The doors immediately swung open. I walked through, and hurried towards Platform one.
Again, in order to get there, there was a flight of stairs, this time going down. (Off topic...on Friends, it’s the episode where the girls learn to play poker. Joey just said the funniest line of the episode: “I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face”. Ha ha! Had to interject!) I sized up the stairs, and decided I should be alright if I just pulled the suitcase down behind me. Bad idea. I got down a few stairs, and the suitcase started to gain momentum, being heavier than me, and crashed down to a small landing. I almost cried, I felt so frustrated. What kind of transit system doesn’t have RAMPS?! I looked around, and never once saw a ramp. How do people in wheelchairs get around these terminals?! Anyways, I was struggling to pick up and organize my bags, when the same gentleman who’d helped me up the stairs earlier came up to me.
“I hate to see you struggle,” he said. “Would you like me to help you?”
“Oh yes please, if its not too much trouble!” I gushed.
He went to grab the handle of my bag, which had broken in the fall.
“I may have broke the handle...” I said.
He laughed, “I believe you have! It’s an awful long way to come to break a bag!”
He must have noticed either my accent of the Canadian flag on my bag, or perhaps my bumbling stupidity and awkwardness had made it all too obvious that I wasn’t from England.
I laughed as well, and said “Yes well, I’m a klutz regardless of country...”
He picked up my bag, and carried it to the bottom of the stairs, then wished me well and took off for his own train.
I got on the underground, which came as soon as I got to the platform, and sat down as soon as I got on. I was sweaty and disgusting, and totally flustered. It took about 10 minutes to get to Kings Cross.
Once in Kings Cross, it was easy to see where I had to go. I got in line for ticket sales again, and bought a train ticket to Cambridge. The man told me to hurry to platform 7, and that I might be able to catch the 11:45 train. I rushed out, but found I had missed it. I walked back to the board with all the train times, and looked out for the next time to Cambridge. I saw that one was leaving platform 9b at 12:15, so I decided to go find the platform. It was a bit of a walk (well actually not too far, but it felt like forever lugging my extremely heavy baggage), but luckily no stairs this time. Again I had to go through some gates, which sucked in my ticket and then spit it back out and let me in. I hurried quickly over to the train, and got on. I didn’t want to have to stand this time. I grabbed the first available seat, pulling all my baggage around me. Finally sitting, I was able to relax a bit. I had my ticket out, in case anyone came round to check it, however no one ever did. In fact, at no one point did anyone PERSONALLY check any of my tickets...I slid them into the machines to get past the gates, but that was it. It seemed a bit weird! Ah well! I got on the train at around 12:00, so I had some ten minutes to pass just waiting. I spent most of that time just watching and listening to people. A very tall, well dressed man got on and sat opposite the aisle from me. He looked a few years older than me, and rather well to do. He pulled out a Blackberry Curve, and was texting on it most of the train ride. Just as the train took off, it jolted rather hard, and my suitcase tipped over, hitting him on the legs.
“Oh gawd, I am SO sorry!” I said to him.
He laughed, and up righted my suitcase saying, “It’s quite alright! Bit startling though, all I saw was a big Canada flag come flying at me!”
He was referring to the bag tag I have on my suitcase, courtesy of Sheena! It’s just a large Canadian flag.
“I’m so sorry, I’ll hold onto it better!” I said back to him.
“Not a problem,” he said, smiling.
Embarrassed, I turned to the window, and steadfastly stared out it. This trip was a tad longer than my first train ride of the day. It left at 12:15 and got to Cambridge at 1. It was a nice trip though, mostly through the country and a few other small villages. When it pulled into Cambridge station, I noticed it was nothing more than a single platform with a few vendors on the outside. Nothing special, that’s for sure. I was, however, dying of thirst, so I walked up to one of the vendors and noticed he had a bottle of Lemonade on display. I asked him for a bottle of Lemonade, pointing to it, but he seemed really confused. He went to the fridge, and pulled out a Sprite.
“Is this what you want?” he asked.
Not wanting to be a bother, I said “Yep, that’ll do!” and passed over the 1.25 it was worth.
Lesson learned: if you want Lemonade, try asking for Lemon juice instead, or perhaps just plain Lemon. The man clearly had no idea what I meant by Lemonade.
I walked outside the station, and saw that there was a place to line up to get a cab. I forget what they call lining up over here....something that starts with a Q....sounds like the letter...but I know it’s not spelt that way. Anyways, I got in the line, and in less than a minute I had a cab in front of me. It was some make of Ford I’d never seen before, but it was nice and spacious, and brand new. A cute little old man got out and came round to the trunk to help me throw in my stuff.
“Where you ‘eaded?” he asked (They don’t pronounce their H’s very much here, hence the accent).
“Is it possible to get a cab to take me to Swavesy?” I asked (pronouncing it the wrong way).
He looked at me, totally puzzled. I started to panic again, unsure of the pronunciation.
“Um....Swavesey? Between here and St. Ives? I’m staying in a Bed and Breakfast there....” I said nervously.
“Ohhhhhh! Swa-ves-sey!” he said. “Of course I can take you there!”
“Great, thanks!” I said, relieved.
I climb into the back seat (I had sat in the front seat my other two cab rides, and had gotten confused looks from the drivers, so I’m assuming people don’t sit up front in England, like they do in Canada), and made myself comfortable.
Driving through Cambridge was a real treat. It was ABSOLUTELY beautiful...to date the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my life. Everything was so OLD, and beautiful. The streets were quite narrow, and everywhere I looked were ancient looking buildings and churches. It was also ridiculously clean, compared to the brief glimpse I had gotten of London (which was very brief indeed). We stopped at a set of lights at one point, beside a beautiful little church. I was looking at it in wonder, and decided to take a picture (which I did). We also drove past the University (one of a few in the city, I believe), and I caught sight of an utterly FANTASTIC looking old building. I am going to make taking a trip to Cambridge a priority VERY soon, as I would absolutely adore having a closer look around.
The drive to Swavesey took about 10 or 15 minutes; it isn’t far at ALL! It cost me 15.60 to get from the station in Cambridge to the B & B, which is good to know! Not as much as I thought it would be....though if you convert it to Canadian dollars...YIKES. But...lets not think that way. As the cabby drove away, I walked up the driveway to what I thought was the front door. I tried to open it, but found it was locked. Odd. I saw a doorbell, so I rang it. Nothing. I stood there for about 5 minutes, unsure of what to do, then rang the bell again. Still nothing. I turned around, to face the road, and pondered what to do now. A million thoughts ran through my head, one of them being that I had been swindled of 150 pounds (which I had wired over as a money order to secure the room). Almost about to cry, I noticed a car slowing down, and then it turned into the driveway. A young blonde woman waved at me, and I felt relieved. She obviously was expecting me to be there.
“Oi, have you been waiting long?!” she asked, as she got out of her car.
“Oh no, I just got here about 5 minutes ago....I’m a tad earlier than I said I was going to be, so don’t feel bad about my waiting!” I replied.
“Righto! Well, if you want to walk over to that door over there” she said, pointing to a door I had noticed before, “ I will go in and round and let you into your room!”
I nodded agreement, and went over to where she had pointed, waiting patiently. A few moments later she came and let me in.
“Right, so Karen, who I assume you’d been corresponding with previously, is actually on a holiday this weekend, so she asked me to come round to let you in! She’s left a note for you on the table, and I can show you around.”
I nodded, and entered the small hallway. There was a table in the middle, with a chair at each end, a tiny menu resting against the wall, and a note addressed to me in the middle.
“This portion of the place is yours alone. All the rooms are self contained, and this door” she said, pointing to a door at the end of the hall, “is locked from the other side.”
She opened a door on the left and handed me a key, “This is your room, it has its own bathroom through the other side. There’s the telly on the wall there, and outlets all round....”
I smiled, nodded, and made small talk with her, trying to be bubbly and friendly. She asked me what I was doing in the area, and I told her I was going to be teaching at the Village College. She laughed, saying she had went there as a kid. Then she asked me what I was going to be doing for dinner, since Karen wouldn’t be around to help me find something to eat. I wasn’t quite sure, so I asked her if there was a grocery store around that I could go to.
“Ooh, unfortunately no. It’s such a small isolated village, there’s not actual a grocery shop here!” she said.
“What about a convenience store? I could surely pick up SOMETHING to tide me over for tonight...”
“Well, it being Sunday, most things are closed...but how about I take you in my car, and we check?”
“Really? Do you mind? I don’t want to be a bother!” I said.
“Oh my no! I couldn’t possibly leave you here with NOTHING! I would feel awful! I can drive you!” she said.
So we hopped into her car, and she drove me to the shop, which was unfortunately closed. The whole time, she was quite chatty and friendly, so I made sure to be chatty and friendly back. She was very pretty! I don’t know what people were saying, telling me British girls were ugly, because she certainly is not!
“Oh dear, they’re closed!” she said. “Well, I know where I can take you, so don’t fret!”
“Okay, as long as you don’t mind!” I replied.
“Oh no, its no problem at all! I will take you to the Tesco in Bar Hill...it’s 5 minutes away!”
“Oh geez...I can give you gas money!” I told her.
“No, no! Think nothing of it! It’s the least I can do to help you feel settled!”
We chatted the rest of the car ride there. Once we got to the Tesco, she called her Mom to tell her she’d be late, as she was taking me to the store. I could hear her Mom on the other side tell her to invite me to dinner, and she did. They were having chili, I think she said. I politely declined, but thought it was quite nice of them to offer; I am, after all, a complete stranger!!! We went into the store, and I asked Mel how old she was. Turns out she is exactly the same age as me (23, turning 24 in October). We walked around the store, picking out various things, as we talked about how she had been out drinking the night before, and was still feeling a bit off. It was nice to talk to someone my own age, about things that were rather universal! I picked up some juice, two nectarines, a bag of chips (crisps?), a bag of coussants, and a pasta salad. Nothing special, but hopefully enough to tide me over for the time being. She dropped me off, and gave me her number, telling me to give her a call if I wanted to get a tour of Cambridge, or just to hang out with people my own age. I thanked her profusely, and went back into my room to settle in for awhile.
I plan on going for a walk in a few moments, just to see the village, and perhaps walk to the school. Karen, the owner lady, just got home and came to see me. She’s a cute lady, I’d guess in her late 30s or early 40s. She asked me what I was doing in the area, and when I told her I was teaching at the Village College, she said her daughter was starting there in the fall. Interesting! When I asked her about a phone, she seemed surprised that I’d want one. I’m thinking people come here to get away from the world...and just relax, and have no use for a phone. She said I could use the house phone though, so I may try to use that tomorrow. If a phone had been in my room, I would have used it today to call some people, but seeing as I’ll be using her home phone, I won’t bother her much now about using it tonight. I’m now a bit nervous about how I will get around, since this place really is horribly isolated. I should have written down more information. Hopefully she will let me use her internet as well...as I will need to check some things.....
Ah well. For the moment, I will occupy myself without the luxuries of technology. The room itself is gorgeous, so its not so bad. I’m off for a walk now though. I will post the pictures on Facebook, once I get internet access (as well as posting this entry), which will probably be Tuesday when I have to return to London.
Cheers!
August 26, 2008 10:30am
Still internet-less for the time being. I’m currently sitting outside, typing on a lovely little wooden table that Karen has set up. Since none of the windows seem to have screens in there in this country, I was able to toss my power supply cable out the window, to provide the power to run this old beast of a laptop. It seems that my stupid idea of leaving my laptop running all the time, while plugged into the wall, has effectively rendered the battery useless on its own. It can only sustain itself for about half hour to forty-five minutes, before shutting off with little warning to me. This is just another reason why I am chomping at the bit to purchase a new laptop. This one has outrun it’s usefulness to me. I’ll gladly return it to my Dad, at Christmas. It’s still in fine working order, it’s just starting to get a little too old for my liking. The only bad thing about getting a new laptop over here is that I will have to try to inquire about purchasing different adaptors for North American use….I don’t relish the idea of having to purchase an adaptor for Canadian plugs when I return home….Oi!
I went to bed last night at ten, after watched the British version of Big Brother. They do it a bit differently than the Big Brother in the USA, in that there is no “Julie” character; the woman outside the house that the housemates correspond with. Instead, they’ve really adapted a much more “big brother”-ish persona (or personas), in that a disembodied voice, which is either a monotone male or female, will talk to the housemates and tell them their tasks. They don’t interact with any “people” other than the people directly in the house. I quite liked the British version, and found myself really getting into it. I’ll try to watch it when I can, should I get a place with television.
I slept fairly well last night. However, I was up at 4am, and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I laid there until 5 and then finally resolved to get up, proper. I made a cup of tea (a cuppa, as I’ve heard it called) and turned on the TV. Not much was on until 6am, and then I watched GMTV (Good Morning TV, on the ITV channel). It was informative enough, basically just like Canada AM, except a little less informal. Not as informal as CityTVs Breakfast Television though; they still had one of those wishy washy studios with the fake sunrise out the fake window. They ran through the different headlines in all the papers for the day, which was interesting. They also cut to an NBC story on Barack Obama choosing his new running mate, some old fart whose name I can’t recall. Joe something? I think the catch phrase they used was “Jobama”….but I could be wrong. It was something silly like that, at any rate. What I found interesting was that the British population would even care what was going on in the United States. I can understand Canada airing American stories (though we never use their broadcasts as directly as they do over here…they literally ripped the entire story off of NBC’s broadcast), because of our proximity to the US. However, why the Brits would care to air entire stories and segments of American news is quite beyond me. I guess that just goes to show that whatever happens to the US really is of importance to the rest of the world. It’s a bit unsettling really, to think that they’ve got so much control on the entire world. Ah well….if history teaches us anything, it’s that large empires rarely survive intact past a few centuries. Look at England! It’s not nearly the powerful nation that it once was; it cows to the United States now, just like the rest of the world. I think that China’s time will soon come, and the US will be left in the dust. But time will only tell on that one…
Breakfast was decent enough this morning. Karen brought me a nutty, granola cereal and milk to start, then some tea and a standard English breakfast, which is much like the standard Canadian breakfast. The only difference is instead of greasy hash browns, it was served with fried mushrooms and tomatoes. The bacon was also much thicker, and I wasn’t really a fan of it at all. I took a few bites out of it though, so that she didn’t think I was overly picky. The sausage tasted like Canadian sausage, which I never have been a fan of, but again I ate one of the two links. The eggs I asked for scrambled, as there really is no way to fuck that up; the other eggs can be ruined easily, and I hoped to avoid all that. I ate what I could, but couldn’t make my way through the entire thing. When I was sufficiently full, I sat back for a moment, and was hit with another wave of sadness and self pity; I started to miss home again.
I am missing home a lot more than I could be, since I literally have no contact with the outside world right now. Not having a phone or the internet is very difficult. I feel totally cut off, and I am not enjoying this solitary feeling. I am quite glad to be heading to London tomorrow, so that I can get in contact with people at home via MSN and Facebook, and also to interact with people. The Dream induction is Wednesday, for the entire day, and I am hoping to make a few acquaintances at the induction, as well as just enjoy the company of people like me; new arrivals to the country, who are about to embark on a strange journey.
I am a bit scared at the idea of starting my teaching career in a week. On Monday I go into the school for a staff meeting, and then a department meeting. Scary stuff! I have to make a call today, to one of the staff in the English department, to arrange to meet her at the school for a talk and tour. I hope to be able to meet with her on Friday, since the rest of my week is rather full. I also am going to call a fellow named Frank from St. Ives, and inquire about renting a room in his house. I’ve talked to him in e-mail, and he seems to be the friendliest out of all the people I’ve talked with. I am hoping that the room is up to my standards, as I would like to make this as easy as possible for myself. If I can accept the first room I see, that would be freaking awesome. However, I’m trying not to get my hopes up.
Well, I suppose I should get back inside. It’s a bit cold out, colder than I am used to for this time of year. It’d be better if the sun were shining, but we all know that the sun and England aren’t the best of mates. I will write later, to update on how the rest of my day went.
Cheers!
1:56 pm
So I made some calls, to check out some rooms. First I called Frank from St. Ives. When he answered the phone, it was clear to me I had woken up him. I immediately apologized, and suggested perhaps that I call back later. It was obvious that he was likely hung-over, and he admitted to having been out too late the previous night. I apologized again for waking him.
“No, no…I need to get up anyways. Don’t worry about it,” he said.
I asked him when I could pop around to have a look. He seemed a little out of it still, and couldn’t really give me a solid answer on when he’d be around. Finally he said he would be home most of the day on Thursday, and that I should just call before popped in. I agreed to that, and hung up, feeling less than thrilled. Next, I called Henry in Willingham. Willingham is a county bus stop away from Swavesey, and not much bigger. However, I do recall him saying in one of his e-mails to me that there was a grocery store in the village/town, so that’s pretty much all I can ask for, given the present situation in Swavesey. Henry didn’t answer at the home number he provided, but he did answer his cell phone. When I introduced myself, he immediately clued into who I was, and seemed genuinely excited and happy to hear from me. He was very friendly, when asking when I was free to stop by for a look. I told him I was free Tuesday morning and unavailable until Thrusday afternoon.
“Well, what about today?” he asked.
“Ah, well I’d have come today, but I don’t have a car at the moment, and was just going to take the bus,” I said.
“Ah! Where are you staying?”
“In Swavesey, at a bed and breakfast,” I said.
“Oh that’s close, I can easily swing by and bring you around!”
I was quite relieved that he had made the offer, and willingly accepted. We planned for him to stop by around 4, and call the B&B if anything came up. So now I’m waiting around for him to come and get me in a few hours! I am secretly hoping I like it, so that I can end my search today. That would bring a lot of comfort to me. I’m still going to try bringing my laptop, to see if I can perhaps steal some wireless for a few moments.
While I was killing time, I decided to go for a walk around town again. I headed in the opposite direction that I went yesterday, out of town towards Over. There wasn’t a lot to see, except for a really old and awesome looking church. I believe its called St. Andrews…but I can’t remember, and I don’t have the internet to check to be certain. Anyways, it looked quite old, and while not the largest church I’ve ever seen (I saw much larger during my drive through of Cambridge), it was certainly the oldest and most impressive (considering the historical value of it). I walked up as near as I dared, but heard some dogs barking somewhere, and got scared. I would have liked to have walked around it, just on the outside, but I couldn’t work up the courage. Instead I walked around the graveyard outside of it. Some of the gravestones were so old the words had been weathered right off of them. They were also very skinny, which was yet another sign of severe weathering. I tried to read some of the really old ones, but the oldest I could see was 1804. Regardless, that seems pretty old to me! I mean, considering Canada wasn’t even a COUNTRY at the time….pretty cool beans. COOL BEANS! Cool beans. The trees in the cemetery were also impressive. They were very fat, which meant they too were very old. I took a picture of one of the larger ones, but you can’t really get the right impression of the size if you’re not there. I’d have taken a picture next to it to show you, but that was pretty much impossible seeing as I was the only person around.
After walking through the graveyard, I decided to try and find the footpath to the Fen Drayton nature reserve. I walked back to the B&B, and then went down the road that went behind it. Just a short walk away, I saw a sign pointing me towards the footpath, so I followed it. It was just a gravel road, wide enough for one car to get through easily. It wound easily through the countryside, with wild green bush surrounding it on both sides. Every now and again a break would come in the brush, where I would see a gate that lead onto a field. Most of the fields were empty, though two contained some sheep. I stopped to take a picture of these fields as well, since they seemed to me to be the picture of Britain. After walking for about twenty minutes, I started to wonder when I would ever reach the Fens, but finally I saw a blue patch between the brush, and realized it was a pond. Smiling at having finally reached my destination, I hurried my pace to get their quicker. I noticed another gate, and walked over to it. It was locked, so I hopped the fence, to get closer to the pond. I saw that it was full of swans! I took a few pictures, but since I was too far away, they didn’t look as impressive on camera as they did in person. I hopped back over the fence, and onto the path. Continuing on, I stopped at a few other gates, hopped them all, and took more pictures of Mow Fen (as I soon found the pond was called).
Eventually the path came to a fork, complete with a signpost directing me of the paths I could take. I decided to follow the path towards the Great River Ouse. I knew from my research that that’s the river that flows through St. Ives, so I figured I’d see just how “great” it was. This time the fence had a plank to help you hop it, so I walked over, and started my way down the path. The path here was mostly just patted down grass, instead of the gravel of the main path. Wildflowers and marshland plants grew up all along the side of the grass path, and a small crick ran along the left. The crick was full of water lilies, cat tails, and a bunch of other plants I couldn’t hope to know the names of. I found the walk to be very idyllic and quaint. I had to keep reminding myself of where I was. The very history of the land itself put me in awe. I couldn’t stop thinking about how people centuries ago could have been walking through the very field I was walking now.
It was fairly warm out, but not hot, because the sky was clouded over with dark grey clouds. I wasn’t afraid of rain though, as the clouds didn’t look threatening, and the sun poked out every now and again to remind me of its presence. I had worn a hoody sweater, but quickly found I was too hot, so I slipped it off and put it in my purse (if you know me you’re already aware that I have MANY large purses…large enough to hold a sweater. Good ol’ Roots leather bags!). It was also quite windy out, and my hair was constantly whipping in my face. Whenever I tried to take a picture, I had to push it out from in front of my eyes, and position myself so that the wind didn’t whip it immediately back at me. I think I managed to get a few decent shots though, which I will post on Facebook. Shortly, I reached the River Ouse. I must admit some disappointment in the river; it wasn’t nearly as great as I had thought it would be. It was winding, with cows grazing on the bank opposite me. However, it wasn’t nearly as wide as the Thames in London, Ontario. In fact, it reminded me more of the Otter River in Tillsonburg! Ah well, I suppose we call that river the “Big” Otter, and it certainly isn’t big…so why can’t the Ouse be “Great”?
Walking back, I noticed two swans in the crick, which I had passed before but had failed to notice. I snapped a few shots of them, because they were so pretty! They also didn’t seem to care that I was so close. They didn’t get aggressive, like the swans I am used to in Canada. They just watched me closely, and went about their business.
The walk back was quicker than the walk there, perhaps because I knew where I was going this time. Now for some more time killing to take place….I’ll be back in a bit.
5:39pm
Well, I’ve just returned from Willingham, where I’ve viewed a mediocre house. It was a bit messy, but Henry apologized profusely for the mess, saying they’re in the process of moving in….so I kind of discounted that factor. That said, it was mostly a townhouse style place, and it wasn’t too bad at all. It smelled a little of curry, which was a good sign, as it meant they won’t mind me cooking up some curry. They also have a year old kitty; she’s a tiny little short haired tabby named Weeder. I had wished the cat would be long haired, but a cat’s a cat, and frankly I am quite glad to have the addition of a pet. I don’t know that I could live without a kitty around for an entire year. The room itself was of a fair size, though probably one of the biggest I’ve rented from, by far. It has a double bed, with a few shelves around the room. There is no closet, but it has one of those hanging rack things, which I would hang my clothes on. They also said they’d be bringing in some dressers etc. within the coming weeks, as Henry’s girlfriend, Sam, is currently in the process of moving in. I’d have my own bathroom in a short while, as they’re working on adding an en-suite to their own room. This works well for me, as I much prefer the idea of having my own bathroom, considering my stomach issues. There’s also a bathroom downstairs, which means that there should always be a bathroom available to me (again, I use the bathroom frequently…stomach issues…). I think I could do the room up nicely, to make it my own. I also had a decent enough feeling about Henry and Sam, they seemed quite friendly and laid back, and seem like people I could easily get along with. I didn’t foresee there being any problems. I factored in that I could do some cleaning myself, of the place, and that with a bit of a tidy up it wouldn’t be bad at all. The kitchen was a fair size, as was the dinning room. The backyard was also decent, though a bit overrun. However, that seems to be kind of the norm around here. I decided fairly soon that I would rather just settle for living there, because of the proximity to the school (I could bike to the College if need be), and the fact that it was on the bus route to Swavesey, it had a grocery store (a Co-op….I’m not sure if that’s good or bad?!), and three pubs. Henry said the population is about 8,000, which is about the size of Aylmer. He took me for a little drive around, and it seemed nice enough. It reminded me of a slightly larger Swavesey, at any rate; Very old, quaint, and tidy. They asked me a few questions, and I asked some in return, and in the end I decided to take a chance, and make the move. It just seemed the most convenient, as I am just eager to find a place to live…being homeless is quite nerve wracking, and while I feel perhaps I should have viewed a FEW other places…the need to just find a place to live overrode me though, so I accepted. I don’t think I will be unhappy in my decision, and should I be, I only have to give a months notice, and then move out. Henry is going to come pick me up Friday afternoon, between 4 and 5, and then the move will be official. At that point, I will be able to be online 24-7, as they’ve got wireless internet! HOLLA! I cannot wait to be connected to the world again. Being internet-less is really frustrating, as awful as that sounds.
They also have a spare room, aside from my own, in which the said I am more than welcome to have people come stay in. This was another plus to me, since it meant that my friends and family could come and actually stay in the house, should they want to, upon their arrival. I also discussed with them travelling (they told me I could fly out of an airport in Cambridge if I wanted to travel to Europe, instead of going all the way to London), buying a cell phone (they told me to get T-Mobile or Virgin, for better reception in the area), buying a new laptop (Henry has a friend who owns a shop), and finally about getting a doctor (there is one just down the street who is accepting patients). It all seemed to be easy, which is exactly what I am looking for.
However, I had a bit of a scare once I returned. I told Karen that I had found a place in Willingham, and she seemed a bit quiet on the subject. However, I had a phone message while I was out, from the 2nd in English at SVC. She gave me the message, and handed me her house phone, so that I could call the woman back. I did immediately, and was greeted by a very friendly and bubbly woman. We agreed to meet at 10am Tuesday morning, to look around the school, see the department, and my classroom. She also told me that she will show me all their resources, and that I am free to use them as I want. I think I will grab a few resources for the first week or so in all my classes, just so that I have a starting point. Once I get comfortable teaching, and with the students, I will start to add my own personal touch. I just think its almost impossible to start right off the bat with my own teaching. Anyways, after we had arranged to meet, I hung up and set the phone on the table in the hallway. A few moments later Karen came to collect it.
“I don’t mean to be nosy, but where in Willingham are you going to be living?” she asked.
“Oh…I can’t recall the name, let me check, I know I wrote it down,” I said, searching for the paper. “Ah…..[insert street name here].”
“Oh okay, that’s not bad,” she said. “It’s just that I worked in Willingham, as a real estate agent, for a few years…and it has a bit of a reputation. Again, I don’t mean to be nosy, but we [she motioned towards the house, and presumably her husband] thought it would be best to warn you. You see, it has a permanent population of…and we’re not supposed to call them this anymore…gypsies.”
I was unsure of what to say, because I was equally unsure of what being a gypsy meant. If I use my general knowledge of the term, I’m assuming that they’re rather questionable, sketchy people, who talk “white English ghetto” (with really poor sounding accents), and are known to be a bit shifty. I’m thinking like trailer trash people here.
“Oh, okay….” I said. “I will be sure to be careful!”
“Well, I just wouldn’t recommend walking around at night alone. You’d likely be fine during the day…I know that people who live in Willingham love it, and don’t have any problems, but the people in the surrounding villages and towns…well we wouldn’t live there…” she said.
A bit taken back, I was speechless again.
“I don’t mean to scare you, I guess we’re all just biased. It’s not a bad place to live, I am sure, but people around here would certainly not move there….I don’t know how to explain it…it sounds bad…” she said.
“Ah, well I kind of know what you’re talking about…” I said, thinking back to my thoughts about Aylmer, or Langton, or Norwich. I wouldn’t want to live in ANY of those places, because I just think of them as dirty. However, if I am rational about it, they really aren’t that much different from Tillsonburg, aside from perhaps their having larger populations of Mexican Mennonites or the Dutch. I’m going to, in my ignorance, equate these gypsies with the Mexicans and the Dutch. People can be biased and rude about different cultures; it’s been proven to me again and again throughout my life. I might be careful walking around at night, but I definitely won’t refuse moving to Willingham on account of a group of people living there.
I thanked her for her advice, and made sure to make her feel I truly did appreciate the warning. However, like I said, I’m not entirely sure I will take it to heart. I’m sure my Mom will read this and worry about me, but again, I ask you to be rational about it. I won’t discount a place based on village to village rivalry and “smack talk”. The moment something bad happens, I’ll be the first to leave. However, Henry told me that a cop lives next door, a widower across the way, and a single mother with two young children live next door. I’m not concerned.
Here’s to hoping that I can clean the place up, and make it like home!! Hope they don’t mind if I clean like a mother hen!
Hopefully I will be in London tomorrow with internet access, so that I may post all this!! It’s certainly going to make for a long read!!!
Cheers!
So I’m initially writing this in WordPerfect, because I don’t have internet access at the Bed and Breakfast in Swavesey (I found out it’s pronounced Swa-veh-say, after saying it Swa-ves-sey to the cab driver)....at least not at the moment. The woman who runs the B&B is on holiday, and no one is really around for me to ask.
Getting here was easier than I had thought. I took the shuttle to Gatwick Airport, from my hotel, and was able to easily find out where I had to go to catch a train to London. I couldn’t get one directly to Kings Cross (the main station) in London, but the sales lady informed me that I could take the underground from London Bridge to Kings Cross. It cost me 9 pounds to get the train to London Bridge, which I thought was decent enough. It took about 30 minutes, so the journey went by quite fast. Unfortunately, I had to stand the entire time...for a train coming directly out of an airport, you’d think they’d have wider aisles in the train, but they didn’t. I couldn’t fit my suitcase down the aisles, so I had to stand in the doorway of the train. It was a bit annoying, and embarrassing, because it made me look glaringly like a foreigner. I wasn’t alone in looking stupid though, as two Americans were standing across from me as well, with absolutely no place to stand. (OOO I must interject here for a moment...I have the television on here as I write this - it only has 4 channels though, since it’s got through bunny ears - and have it on T4...and guess what is on?!?! FRIENDS! Its surprisingly VERY comforting to see my FAVOURITE show on the television here. Makes me feel less anxious).
Once I got to London Bridge, I followed the signs to the Underground. I found a tickets/assistance booth, and asked how I could get to Kings Cross. The man was quite friendly with me, and told me I had to buy a ticket and then use the North Terminal. I bought the ticket for 4 pounds, and went in the direction that he told me. I headed in that direction, and noticed it required me to get up a short flight of stairs. Looking down at my suitcase and other baggage, I wonder how in the HELL I was supposed to lug it all up the stairs. My suitcase is VERY heavy; I did, after all, have to pack my entire life into it. I approached the stairs with apprehension, and then turned and tried to walk up the stairs backwards, pulling my suitcase up step by step. This was a lot harder than I had assumed it would be. I got it up two steps, and was clearly struggling with it. My two carry-on bags were sliding down my shoulders, causing me to lose my balance, and stumble sideways. Frustrated and embarrassed, I righted myself, and tried to figure out my next move. Fortunately for me, a lovely British gentleman saw me struggling, and offered to carry my bag up the stairs for me. I gladly accepted his offer. At the top, I thanked him profusely, and he kindly said “Not a problem!” Next hurdle? In order to get to the different platforms, you have to put your ticket into a machine and then these gates will open for you. I walked over to the oversized turnstile, so that I could fit through with my baggage, and put my ticket in the slot. It sucked it up, but nothing happened. I started to panic, because I didn’t want to have to pay for a different ticket. A lady with a young boy came up behind me, and giggled.
“You’ve just got to pull the ticket out of the top, dear” she said, pointing.
I looked to where she was pointing, and noticed my ticket sticking out. Feeling embarrassed once again, I thanked her and pulled it out. The doors immediately swung open. I walked through, and hurried towards Platform one.
Again, in order to get there, there was a flight of stairs, this time going down. (Off topic...on Friends, it’s the episode where the girls learn to play poker. Joey just said the funniest line of the episode: “I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face”. Ha ha! Had to interject!) I sized up the stairs, and decided I should be alright if I just pulled the suitcase down behind me. Bad idea. I got down a few stairs, and the suitcase started to gain momentum, being heavier than me, and crashed down to a small landing. I almost cried, I felt so frustrated. What kind of transit system doesn’t have RAMPS?! I looked around, and never once saw a ramp. How do people in wheelchairs get around these terminals?! Anyways, I was struggling to pick up and organize my bags, when the same gentleman who’d helped me up the stairs earlier came up to me.
“I hate to see you struggle,” he said. “Would you like me to help you?”
“Oh yes please, if its not too much trouble!” I gushed.
He went to grab the handle of my bag, which had broken in the fall.
“I may have broke the handle...” I said.
He laughed, “I believe you have! It’s an awful long way to come to break a bag!”
He must have noticed either my accent of the Canadian flag on my bag, or perhaps my bumbling stupidity and awkwardness had made it all too obvious that I wasn’t from England.
I laughed as well, and said “Yes well, I’m a klutz regardless of country...”
He picked up my bag, and carried it to the bottom of the stairs, then wished me well and took off for his own train.
I got on the underground, which came as soon as I got to the platform, and sat down as soon as I got on. I was sweaty and disgusting, and totally flustered. It took about 10 minutes to get to Kings Cross.
Once in Kings Cross, it was easy to see where I had to go. I got in line for ticket sales again, and bought a train ticket to Cambridge. The man told me to hurry to platform 7, and that I might be able to catch the 11:45 train. I rushed out, but found I had missed it. I walked back to the board with all the train times, and looked out for the next time to Cambridge. I saw that one was leaving platform 9b at 12:15, so I decided to go find the platform. It was a bit of a walk (well actually not too far, but it felt like forever lugging my extremely heavy baggage), but luckily no stairs this time. Again I had to go through some gates, which sucked in my ticket and then spit it back out and let me in. I hurried quickly over to the train, and got on. I didn’t want to have to stand this time. I grabbed the first available seat, pulling all my baggage around me. Finally sitting, I was able to relax a bit. I had my ticket out, in case anyone came round to check it, however no one ever did. In fact, at no one point did anyone PERSONALLY check any of my tickets...I slid them into the machines to get past the gates, but that was it. It seemed a bit weird! Ah well! I got on the train at around 12:00, so I had some ten minutes to pass just waiting. I spent most of that time just watching and listening to people. A very tall, well dressed man got on and sat opposite the aisle from me. He looked a few years older than me, and rather well to do. He pulled out a Blackberry Curve, and was texting on it most of the train ride. Just as the train took off, it jolted rather hard, and my suitcase tipped over, hitting him on the legs.
“Oh gawd, I am SO sorry!” I said to him.
He laughed, and up righted my suitcase saying, “It’s quite alright! Bit startling though, all I saw was a big Canada flag come flying at me!”
He was referring to the bag tag I have on my suitcase, courtesy of Sheena! It’s just a large Canadian flag.
“I’m so sorry, I’ll hold onto it better!” I said back to him.
“Not a problem,” he said, smiling.
Embarrassed, I turned to the window, and steadfastly stared out it. This trip was a tad longer than my first train ride of the day. It left at 12:15 and got to Cambridge at 1. It was a nice trip though, mostly through the country and a few other small villages. When it pulled into Cambridge station, I noticed it was nothing more than a single platform with a few vendors on the outside. Nothing special, that’s for sure. I was, however, dying of thirst, so I walked up to one of the vendors and noticed he had a bottle of Lemonade on display. I asked him for a bottle of Lemonade, pointing to it, but he seemed really confused. He went to the fridge, and pulled out a Sprite.
“Is this what you want?” he asked.
Not wanting to be a bother, I said “Yep, that’ll do!” and passed over the 1.25 it was worth.
Lesson learned: if you want Lemonade, try asking for Lemon juice instead, or perhaps just plain Lemon. The man clearly had no idea what I meant by Lemonade.
I walked outside the station, and saw that there was a place to line up to get a cab. I forget what they call lining up over here....something that starts with a Q....sounds like the letter...but I know it’s not spelt that way. Anyways, I got in the line, and in less than a minute I had a cab in front of me. It was some make of Ford I’d never seen before, but it was nice and spacious, and brand new. A cute little old man got out and came round to the trunk to help me throw in my stuff.
“Where you ‘eaded?” he asked (They don’t pronounce their H’s very much here, hence the accent).
“Is it possible to get a cab to take me to Swavesy?” I asked (pronouncing it the wrong way).
He looked at me, totally puzzled. I started to panic again, unsure of the pronunciation.
“Um....Swavesey? Between here and St. Ives? I’m staying in a Bed and Breakfast there....” I said nervously.
“Ohhhhhh! Swa-ves-sey!” he said. “Of course I can take you there!”
“Great, thanks!” I said, relieved.
I climb into the back seat (I had sat in the front seat my other two cab rides, and had gotten confused looks from the drivers, so I’m assuming people don’t sit up front in England, like they do in Canada), and made myself comfortable.
Driving through Cambridge was a real treat. It was ABSOLUTELY beautiful...to date the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my life. Everything was so OLD, and beautiful. The streets were quite narrow, and everywhere I looked were ancient looking buildings and churches. It was also ridiculously clean, compared to the brief glimpse I had gotten of London (which was very brief indeed). We stopped at a set of lights at one point, beside a beautiful little church. I was looking at it in wonder, and decided to take a picture (which I did). We also drove past the University (one of a few in the city, I believe), and I caught sight of an utterly FANTASTIC looking old building. I am going to make taking a trip to Cambridge a priority VERY soon, as I would absolutely adore having a closer look around.
The drive to Swavesey took about 10 or 15 minutes; it isn’t far at ALL! It cost me 15.60 to get from the station in Cambridge to the B & B, which is good to know! Not as much as I thought it would be....though if you convert it to Canadian dollars...YIKES. But...lets not think that way. As the cabby drove away, I walked up the driveway to what I thought was the front door. I tried to open it, but found it was locked. Odd. I saw a doorbell, so I rang it. Nothing. I stood there for about 5 minutes, unsure of what to do, then rang the bell again. Still nothing. I turned around, to face the road, and pondered what to do now. A million thoughts ran through my head, one of them being that I had been swindled of 150 pounds (which I had wired over as a money order to secure the room). Almost about to cry, I noticed a car slowing down, and then it turned into the driveway. A young blonde woman waved at me, and I felt relieved. She obviously was expecting me to be there.
“Oi, have you been waiting long?!” she asked, as she got out of her car.
“Oh no, I just got here about 5 minutes ago....I’m a tad earlier than I said I was going to be, so don’t feel bad about my waiting!” I replied.
“Righto! Well, if you want to walk over to that door over there” she said, pointing to a door I had noticed before, “ I will go in and round and let you into your room!”
I nodded agreement, and went over to where she had pointed, waiting patiently. A few moments later she came and let me in.
“Right, so Karen, who I assume you’d been corresponding with previously, is actually on a holiday this weekend, so she asked me to come round to let you in! She’s left a note for you on the table, and I can show you around.”
I nodded, and entered the small hallway. There was a table in the middle, with a chair at each end, a tiny menu resting against the wall, and a note addressed to me in the middle.
“This portion of the place is yours alone. All the rooms are self contained, and this door” she said, pointing to a door at the end of the hall, “is locked from the other side.”
She opened a door on the left and handed me a key, “This is your room, it has its own bathroom through the other side. There’s the telly on the wall there, and outlets all round....”
I smiled, nodded, and made small talk with her, trying to be bubbly and friendly. She asked me what I was doing in the area, and I told her I was going to be teaching at the Village College. She laughed, saying she had went there as a kid. Then she asked me what I was going to be doing for dinner, since Karen wouldn’t be around to help me find something to eat. I wasn’t quite sure, so I asked her if there was a grocery store around that I could go to.
“Ooh, unfortunately no. It’s such a small isolated village, there’s not actual a grocery shop here!” she said.
“What about a convenience store? I could surely pick up SOMETHING to tide me over for tonight...”
“Well, it being Sunday, most things are closed...but how about I take you in my car, and we check?”
“Really? Do you mind? I don’t want to be a bother!” I said.
“Oh my no! I couldn’t possibly leave you here with NOTHING! I would feel awful! I can drive you!” she said.
So we hopped into her car, and she drove me to the shop, which was unfortunately closed. The whole time, she was quite chatty and friendly, so I made sure to be chatty and friendly back. She was very pretty! I don’t know what people were saying, telling me British girls were ugly, because she certainly is not!
“Oh dear, they’re closed!” she said. “Well, I know where I can take you, so don’t fret!”
“Okay, as long as you don’t mind!” I replied.
“Oh no, its no problem at all! I will take you to the Tesco in Bar Hill...it’s 5 minutes away!”
“Oh geez...I can give you gas money!” I told her.
“No, no! Think nothing of it! It’s the least I can do to help you feel settled!”
We chatted the rest of the car ride there. Once we got to the Tesco, she called her Mom to tell her she’d be late, as she was taking me to the store. I could hear her Mom on the other side tell her to invite me to dinner, and she did. They were having chili, I think she said. I politely declined, but thought it was quite nice of them to offer; I am, after all, a complete stranger!!! We went into the store, and I asked Mel how old she was. Turns out she is exactly the same age as me (23, turning 24 in October). We walked around the store, picking out various things, as we talked about how she had been out drinking the night before, and was still feeling a bit off. It was nice to talk to someone my own age, about things that were rather universal! I picked up some juice, two nectarines, a bag of chips (crisps?), a bag of coussants, and a pasta salad. Nothing special, but hopefully enough to tide me over for the time being. She dropped me off, and gave me her number, telling me to give her a call if I wanted to get a tour of Cambridge, or just to hang out with people my own age. I thanked her profusely, and went back into my room to settle in for awhile.
I plan on going for a walk in a few moments, just to see the village, and perhaps walk to the school. Karen, the owner lady, just got home and came to see me. She’s a cute lady, I’d guess in her late 30s or early 40s. She asked me what I was doing in the area, and when I told her I was teaching at the Village College, she said her daughter was starting there in the fall. Interesting! When I asked her about a phone, she seemed surprised that I’d want one. I’m thinking people come here to get away from the world...and just relax, and have no use for a phone. She said I could use the house phone though, so I may try to use that tomorrow. If a phone had been in my room, I would have used it today to call some people, but seeing as I’ll be using her home phone, I won’t bother her much now about using it tonight. I’m now a bit nervous about how I will get around, since this place really is horribly isolated. I should have written down more information. Hopefully she will let me use her internet as well...as I will need to check some things.....
Ah well. For the moment, I will occupy myself without the luxuries of technology. The room itself is gorgeous, so its not so bad. I’m off for a walk now though. I will post the pictures on Facebook, once I get internet access (as well as posting this entry), which will probably be Tuesday when I have to return to London.
Cheers!
August 26, 2008 10:30am
Still internet-less for the time being. I’m currently sitting outside, typing on a lovely little wooden table that Karen has set up. Since none of the windows seem to have screens in there in this country, I was able to toss my power supply cable out the window, to provide the power to run this old beast of a laptop. It seems that my stupid idea of leaving my laptop running all the time, while plugged into the wall, has effectively rendered the battery useless on its own. It can only sustain itself for about half hour to forty-five minutes, before shutting off with little warning to me. This is just another reason why I am chomping at the bit to purchase a new laptop. This one has outrun it’s usefulness to me. I’ll gladly return it to my Dad, at Christmas. It’s still in fine working order, it’s just starting to get a little too old for my liking. The only bad thing about getting a new laptop over here is that I will have to try to inquire about purchasing different adaptors for North American use….I don’t relish the idea of having to purchase an adaptor for Canadian plugs when I return home….Oi!
I went to bed last night at ten, after watched the British version of Big Brother. They do it a bit differently than the Big Brother in the USA, in that there is no “Julie” character; the woman outside the house that the housemates correspond with. Instead, they’ve really adapted a much more “big brother”-ish persona (or personas), in that a disembodied voice, which is either a monotone male or female, will talk to the housemates and tell them their tasks. They don’t interact with any “people” other than the people directly in the house. I quite liked the British version, and found myself really getting into it. I’ll try to watch it when I can, should I get a place with television.
I slept fairly well last night. However, I was up at 4am, and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I laid there until 5 and then finally resolved to get up, proper. I made a cup of tea (a cuppa, as I’ve heard it called) and turned on the TV. Not much was on until 6am, and then I watched GMTV (Good Morning TV, on the ITV channel). It was informative enough, basically just like Canada AM, except a little less informal. Not as informal as CityTVs Breakfast Television though; they still had one of those wishy washy studios with the fake sunrise out the fake window. They ran through the different headlines in all the papers for the day, which was interesting. They also cut to an NBC story on Barack Obama choosing his new running mate, some old fart whose name I can’t recall. Joe something? I think the catch phrase they used was “Jobama”….but I could be wrong. It was something silly like that, at any rate. What I found interesting was that the British population would even care what was going on in the United States. I can understand Canada airing American stories (though we never use their broadcasts as directly as they do over here…they literally ripped the entire story off of NBC’s broadcast), because of our proximity to the US. However, why the Brits would care to air entire stories and segments of American news is quite beyond me. I guess that just goes to show that whatever happens to the US really is of importance to the rest of the world. It’s a bit unsettling really, to think that they’ve got so much control on the entire world. Ah well….if history teaches us anything, it’s that large empires rarely survive intact past a few centuries. Look at England! It’s not nearly the powerful nation that it once was; it cows to the United States now, just like the rest of the world. I think that China’s time will soon come, and the US will be left in the dust. But time will only tell on that one…
Breakfast was decent enough this morning. Karen brought me a nutty, granola cereal and milk to start, then some tea and a standard English breakfast, which is much like the standard Canadian breakfast. The only difference is instead of greasy hash browns, it was served with fried mushrooms and tomatoes. The bacon was also much thicker, and I wasn’t really a fan of it at all. I took a few bites out of it though, so that she didn’t think I was overly picky. The sausage tasted like Canadian sausage, which I never have been a fan of, but again I ate one of the two links. The eggs I asked for scrambled, as there really is no way to fuck that up; the other eggs can be ruined easily, and I hoped to avoid all that. I ate what I could, but couldn’t make my way through the entire thing. When I was sufficiently full, I sat back for a moment, and was hit with another wave of sadness and self pity; I started to miss home again.
I am missing home a lot more than I could be, since I literally have no contact with the outside world right now. Not having a phone or the internet is very difficult. I feel totally cut off, and I am not enjoying this solitary feeling. I am quite glad to be heading to London tomorrow, so that I can get in contact with people at home via MSN and Facebook, and also to interact with people. The Dream induction is Wednesday, for the entire day, and I am hoping to make a few acquaintances at the induction, as well as just enjoy the company of people like me; new arrivals to the country, who are about to embark on a strange journey.
I am a bit scared at the idea of starting my teaching career in a week. On Monday I go into the school for a staff meeting, and then a department meeting. Scary stuff! I have to make a call today, to one of the staff in the English department, to arrange to meet her at the school for a talk and tour. I hope to be able to meet with her on Friday, since the rest of my week is rather full. I also am going to call a fellow named Frank from St. Ives, and inquire about renting a room in his house. I’ve talked to him in e-mail, and he seems to be the friendliest out of all the people I’ve talked with. I am hoping that the room is up to my standards, as I would like to make this as easy as possible for myself. If I can accept the first room I see, that would be freaking awesome. However, I’m trying not to get my hopes up.
Well, I suppose I should get back inside. It’s a bit cold out, colder than I am used to for this time of year. It’d be better if the sun were shining, but we all know that the sun and England aren’t the best of mates. I will write later, to update on how the rest of my day went.
Cheers!
1:56 pm
So I made some calls, to check out some rooms. First I called Frank from St. Ives. When he answered the phone, it was clear to me I had woken up him. I immediately apologized, and suggested perhaps that I call back later. It was obvious that he was likely hung-over, and he admitted to having been out too late the previous night. I apologized again for waking him.
“No, no…I need to get up anyways. Don’t worry about it,” he said.
I asked him when I could pop around to have a look. He seemed a little out of it still, and couldn’t really give me a solid answer on when he’d be around. Finally he said he would be home most of the day on Thursday, and that I should just call before popped in. I agreed to that, and hung up, feeling less than thrilled. Next, I called Henry in Willingham. Willingham is a county bus stop away from Swavesey, and not much bigger. However, I do recall him saying in one of his e-mails to me that there was a grocery store in the village/town, so that’s pretty much all I can ask for, given the present situation in Swavesey. Henry didn’t answer at the home number he provided, but he did answer his cell phone. When I introduced myself, he immediately clued into who I was, and seemed genuinely excited and happy to hear from me. He was very friendly, when asking when I was free to stop by for a look. I told him I was free Tuesday morning and unavailable until Thrusday afternoon.
“Well, what about today?” he asked.
“Ah, well I’d have come today, but I don’t have a car at the moment, and was just going to take the bus,” I said.
“Ah! Where are you staying?”
“In Swavesey, at a bed and breakfast,” I said.
“Oh that’s close, I can easily swing by and bring you around!”
I was quite relieved that he had made the offer, and willingly accepted. We planned for him to stop by around 4, and call the B&B if anything came up. So now I’m waiting around for him to come and get me in a few hours! I am secretly hoping I like it, so that I can end my search today. That would bring a lot of comfort to me. I’m still going to try bringing my laptop, to see if I can perhaps steal some wireless for a few moments.
While I was killing time, I decided to go for a walk around town again. I headed in the opposite direction that I went yesterday, out of town towards Over. There wasn’t a lot to see, except for a really old and awesome looking church. I believe its called St. Andrews…but I can’t remember, and I don’t have the internet to check to be certain. Anyways, it looked quite old, and while not the largest church I’ve ever seen (I saw much larger during my drive through of Cambridge), it was certainly the oldest and most impressive (considering the historical value of it). I walked up as near as I dared, but heard some dogs barking somewhere, and got scared. I would have liked to have walked around it, just on the outside, but I couldn’t work up the courage. Instead I walked around the graveyard outside of it. Some of the gravestones were so old the words had been weathered right off of them. They were also very skinny, which was yet another sign of severe weathering. I tried to read some of the really old ones, but the oldest I could see was 1804. Regardless, that seems pretty old to me! I mean, considering Canada wasn’t even a COUNTRY at the time….pretty cool beans. COOL BEANS! Cool beans. The trees in the cemetery were also impressive. They were very fat, which meant they too were very old. I took a picture of one of the larger ones, but you can’t really get the right impression of the size if you’re not there. I’d have taken a picture next to it to show you, but that was pretty much impossible seeing as I was the only person around.
After walking through the graveyard, I decided to try and find the footpath to the Fen Drayton nature reserve. I walked back to the B&B, and then went down the road that went behind it. Just a short walk away, I saw a sign pointing me towards the footpath, so I followed it. It was just a gravel road, wide enough for one car to get through easily. It wound easily through the countryside, with wild green bush surrounding it on both sides. Every now and again a break would come in the brush, where I would see a gate that lead onto a field. Most of the fields were empty, though two contained some sheep. I stopped to take a picture of these fields as well, since they seemed to me to be the picture of Britain. After walking for about twenty minutes, I started to wonder when I would ever reach the Fens, but finally I saw a blue patch between the brush, and realized it was a pond. Smiling at having finally reached my destination, I hurried my pace to get their quicker. I noticed another gate, and walked over to it. It was locked, so I hopped the fence, to get closer to the pond. I saw that it was full of swans! I took a few pictures, but since I was too far away, they didn’t look as impressive on camera as they did in person. I hopped back over the fence, and onto the path. Continuing on, I stopped at a few other gates, hopped them all, and took more pictures of Mow Fen (as I soon found the pond was called).
Eventually the path came to a fork, complete with a signpost directing me of the paths I could take. I decided to follow the path towards the Great River Ouse. I knew from my research that that’s the river that flows through St. Ives, so I figured I’d see just how “great” it was. This time the fence had a plank to help you hop it, so I walked over, and started my way down the path. The path here was mostly just patted down grass, instead of the gravel of the main path. Wildflowers and marshland plants grew up all along the side of the grass path, and a small crick ran along the left. The crick was full of water lilies, cat tails, and a bunch of other plants I couldn’t hope to know the names of. I found the walk to be very idyllic and quaint. I had to keep reminding myself of where I was. The very history of the land itself put me in awe. I couldn’t stop thinking about how people centuries ago could have been walking through the very field I was walking now.
It was fairly warm out, but not hot, because the sky was clouded over with dark grey clouds. I wasn’t afraid of rain though, as the clouds didn’t look threatening, and the sun poked out every now and again to remind me of its presence. I had worn a hoody sweater, but quickly found I was too hot, so I slipped it off and put it in my purse (if you know me you’re already aware that I have MANY large purses…large enough to hold a sweater. Good ol’ Roots leather bags!). It was also quite windy out, and my hair was constantly whipping in my face. Whenever I tried to take a picture, I had to push it out from in front of my eyes, and position myself so that the wind didn’t whip it immediately back at me. I think I managed to get a few decent shots though, which I will post on Facebook. Shortly, I reached the River Ouse. I must admit some disappointment in the river; it wasn’t nearly as great as I had thought it would be. It was winding, with cows grazing on the bank opposite me. However, it wasn’t nearly as wide as the Thames in London, Ontario. In fact, it reminded me more of the Otter River in Tillsonburg! Ah well, I suppose we call that river the “Big” Otter, and it certainly isn’t big…so why can’t the Ouse be “Great”?
Walking back, I noticed two swans in the crick, which I had passed before but had failed to notice. I snapped a few shots of them, because they were so pretty! They also didn’t seem to care that I was so close. They didn’t get aggressive, like the swans I am used to in Canada. They just watched me closely, and went about their business.
The walk back was quicker than the walk there, perhaps because I knew where I was going this time. Now for some more time killing to take place….I’ll be back in a bit.
5:39pm
Well, I’ve just returned from Willingham, where I’ve viewed a mediocre house. It was a bit messy, but Henry apologized profusely for the mess, saying they’re in the process of moving in….so I kind of discounted that factor. That said, it was mostly a townhouse style place, and it wasn’t too bad at all. It smelled a little of curry, which was a good sign, as it meant they won’t mind me cooking up some curry. They also have a year old kitty; she’s a tiny little short haired tabby named Weeder. I had wished the cat would be long haired, but a cat’s a cat, and frankly I am quite glad to have the addition of a pet. I don’t know that I could live without a kitty around for an entire year. The room itself was of a fair size, though probably one of the biggest I’ve rented from, by far. It has a double bed, with a few shelves around the room. There is no closet, but it has one of those hanging rack things, which I would hang my clothes on. They also said they’d be bringing in some dressers etc. within the coming weeks, as Henry’s girlfriend, Sam, is currently in the process of moving in. I’d have my own bathroom in a short while, as they’re working on adding an en-suite to their own room. This works well for me, as I much prefer the idea of having my own bathroom, considering my stomach issues. There’s also a bathroom downstairs, which means that there should always be a bathroom available to me (again, I use the bathroom frequently…stomach issues…). I think I could do the room up nicely, to make it my own. I also had a decent enough feeling about Henry and Sam, they seemed quite friendly and laid back, and seem like people I could easily get along with. I didn’t foresee there being any problems. I factored in that I could do some cleaning myself, of the place, and that with a bit of a tidy up it wouldn’t be bad at all. The kitchen was a fair size, as was the dinning room. The backyard was also decent, though a bit overrun. However, that seems to be kind of the norm around here. I decided fairly soon that I would rather just settle for living there, because of the proximity to the school (I could bike to the College if need be), and the fact that it was on the bus route to Swavesey, it had a grocery store (a Co-op….I’m not sure if that’s good or bad?!), and three pubs. Henry said the population is about 8,000, which is about the size of Aylmer. He took me for a little drive around, and it seemed nice enough. It reminded me of a slightly larger Swavesey, at any rate; Very old, quaint, and tidy. They asked me a few questions, and I asked some in return, and in the end I decided to take a chance, and make the move. It just seemed the most convenient, as I am just eager to find a place to live…being homeless is quite nerve wracking, and while I feel perhaps I should have viewed a FEW other places…the need to just find a place to live overrode me though, so I accepted. I don’t think I will be unhappy in my decision, and should I be, I only have to give a months notice, and then move out. Henry is going to come pick me up Friday afternoon, between 4 and 5, and then the move will be official. At that point, I will be able to be online 24-7, as they’ve got wireless internet! HOLLA! I cannot wait to be connected to the world again. Being internet-less is really frustrating, as awful as that sounds.
They also have a spare room, aside from my own, in which the said I am more than welcome to have people come stay in. This was another plus to me, since it meant that my friends and family could come and actually stay in the house, should they want to, upon their arrival. I also discussed with them travelling (they told me I could fly out of an airport in Cambridge if I wanted to travel to Europe, instead of going all the way to London), buying a cell phone (they told me to get T-Mobile or Virgin, for better reception in the area), buying a new laptop (Henry has a friend who owns a shop), and finally about getting a doctor (there is one just down the street who is accepting patients). It all seemed to be easy, which is exactly what I am looking for.
However, I had a bit of a scare once I returned. I told Karen that I had found a place in Willingham, and she seemed a bit quiet on the subject. However, I had a phone message while I was out, from the 2nd in English at SVC. She gave me the message, and handed me her house phone, so that I could call the woman back. I did immediately, and was greeted by a very friendly and bubbly woman. We agreed to meet at 10am Tuesday morning, to look around the school, see the department, and my classroom. She also told me that she will show me all their resources, and that I am free to use them as I want. I think I will grab a few resources for the first week or so in all my classes, just so that I have a starting point. Once I get comfortable teaching, and with the students, I will start to add my own personal touch. I just think its almost impossible to start right off the bat with my own teaching. Anyways, after we had arranged to meet, I hung up and set the phone on the table in the hallway. A few moments later Karen came to collect it.
“I don’t mean to be nosy, but where in Willingham are you going to be living?” she asked.
“Oh…I can’t recall the name, let me check, I know I wrote it down,” I said, searching for the paper. “Ah…..[insert street name here].”
“Oh okay, that’s not bad,” she said. “It’s just that I worked in Willingham, as a real estate agent, for a few years…and it has a bit of a reputation. Again, I don’t mean to be nosy, but we [she motioned towards the house, and presumably her husband] thought it would be best to warn you. You see, it has a permanent population of…and we’re not supposed to call them this anymore…gypsies.”
I was unsure of what to say, because I was equally unsure of what being a gypsy meant. If I use my general knowledge of the term, I’m assuming that they’re rather questionable, sketchy people, who talk “white English ghetto” (with really poor sounding accents), and are known to be a bit shifty. I’m thinking like trailer trash people here.
“Oh, okay….” I said. “I will be sure to be careful!”
“Well, I just wouldn’t recommend walking around at night alone. You’d likely be fine during the day…I know that people who live in Willingham love it, and don’t have any problems, but the people in the surrounding villages and towns…well we wouldn’t live there…” she said.
A bit taken back, I was speechless again.
“I don’t mean to scare you, I guess we’re all just biased. It’s not a bad place to live, I am sure, but people around here would certainly not move there….I don’t know how to explain it…it sounds bad…” she said.
“Ah, well I kind of know what you’re talking about…” I said, thinking back to my thoughts about Aylmer, or Langton, or Norwich. I wouldn’t want to live in ANY of those places, because I just think of them as dirty. However, if I am rational about it, they really aren’t that much different from Tillsonburg, aside from perhaps their having larger populations of Mexican Mennonites or the Dutch. I’m going to, in my ignorance, equate these gypsies with the Mexicans and the Dutch. People can be biased and rude about different cultures; it’s been proven to me again and again throughout my life. I might be careful walking around at night, but I definitely won’t refuse moving to Willingham on account of a group of people living there.
I thanked her for her advice, and made sure to make her feel I truly did appreciate the warning. However, like I said, I’m not entirely sure I will take it to heart. I’m sure my Mom will read this and worry about me, but again, I ask you to be rational about it. I won’t discount a place based on village to village rivalry and “smack talk”. The moment something bad happens, I’ll be the first to leave. However, Henry told me that a cop lives next door, a widower across the way, and a single mother with two young children live next door. I’m not concerned.
Here’s to hoping that I can clean the place up, and make it like home!! Hope they don’t mind if I clean like a mother hen!
Hopefully I will be in London tomorrow with internet access, so that I may post all this!! It’s certainly going to make for a long read!!!
Cheers!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
On Leaving
So I'm in England now.... the flight was about as I expected it would be, long and boring. I got the seat in front of the fire escape in the middle of the plane, which meant I couldn't recline my chair. As a result, I couldn't get comfortable at all, and thus could not fall asleep. I nodded off a few times, but the majority of my time I spent feeling my energy levels drop while I struggled to get comfortable. Nothing worked though. I was doomed to be miserable from the start. As more and more time passed on the plane, and I felt myself getting further and further from home, it became increasingly hard for me to hold in my tears. I broke into sobbing fits every hour or so, as I thought about those I was leaving behind and the lack of people waiting for me upon arrival. I started to seriously doubt my decision, pondering the "rightness" of my choice. Is it supposed to hurt this bad? I'm not sure...all I DO know is that I increasingly wish I were not here. As I sit here now, it's 6:20pm England time (2:11pm Ontario time), I'm deathly tired, but I can't sleep because I am afraid to. I know that sounds scary, and in fact makes very little sense. But I am afraid to sleep, because I don't know where I am. I know I am going to wake up cold and alone, and at first I won't know where I am. I can already feel that feeling of panic rising up in my throat, and it brings tears to my eyes. I am so deathly afraid of climbing into that bed alone...I desperately wish I had someone to share it with me...
I am just so scared....
I know everyone expects me to be brave about this, and to enjoy the experience. However, I'm just having a really hard time doing that. I know a lot of people would trade positions with me, and I wish they would. I wish I could back out now, and come home...but I can't. I have to push through this panic, and try to accept it. I am hoping that once I get settled and make some friends, perhaps it won't be so bad. Have your fingers crossed for me as well...
So my last few days were great. Thursday I was supposed to go to the last day of this Teaching Shakespeare workshop,but I bailed on them in order to spend more time at home. I went out for coffee with M that afternoon; he had wanted to take me out the night before but I couldn't go on account of the stupid workshop. We had a great chat, and stayed in Coffee Culture for two and a half hours. Then we went to A&P, to grab some mix. When he dropped me off at my house, I asked him to come in, and then to stay to dinner. He happily agreed to stay. We had curry chicken. While it was good at the time, it definitely gave BOTH of us the 'rhea. Yum! That night Holly, Matt, Steph, SHeena, Meaghan, Christine, Paul and M came over to show me one last good night. It was a really good night, though somehow I got drunker than I wanted. M ended up staying the night with me, which is what I had wanted all along. We had another really great night together, just being really sweet and tender with each other. I had wanted to fall asleep clinging to him, but my drunkeness took over, and I passed out.
In the morning, a bunch of us went to Breakfast. M came, though he didn't eat, because he wasn't feeling well. We held hands under the table the entire time, while I rubbed his back and told him to feel better.
Then Ethan, M and I went to Rogers and rented "Hot Rod", since Christine and Paul told me I HAD to see it. It WAS rather funny, but very very random. I still laughed, and that was what I needed on my last day...
M and I spent the entire day together, before I had to leave and he had to go to work, and it was great. I didn't ever want him to leave, because when he left it would mean it was my time to go. It was so hard, when the time came that he had to go. We stood in the doorway, staring at each other silently for a minute. Then I grabbed him, burying my face onto his shoulders. He kissed the top of my head, and held me there, while I sobbed softly on him. I just couldn't not cry. All the regret about leaving him was starting to pile up, and it got to be too much for me to handle. I could do nothing but wish things were different; wish I wasn't going, or taht he could come....it just felt so profoundly wrong for it to be over. After about ten minues of us holding each other in the doorway, we exchanged a few soft kisses, and he left for work.
Soon after, right before I was about to get into the car to leave, I get a text from him.
"I'm not going to lie, I'm really going to miss you" he said.
"Me too. I don't want to go. I'm sorry I'm doing this. It sucks hard" I replied.
"Yah it does, but I am so happy for you. This is a great thing for you. You deserve to have fun. Just be safe, because it would break my heart if something happened to you" he said.
"I'll be safe. You stay away from crazy bitches. You deserve waay more than that" I replied.
"Thank you. You're the first girl that made me realize that. You're so sweet. I hope that it's not the end for us. If you meet Prince Charming over there, I will try not to get too hung up, because you deserve it"
"Aw hun, don't even worry about that. It's not over between us, eff that. I will be back befor eyou know it" I replied.
It went on like that for a bit, and all I could do was keep myself from balling my eyes out. I just REALLY liked this guy...we clicked, and he is everything I want in a guy...he's affectionate and sweet, and he's a man's man too. We're a perfect match. I know it sounds stupid to say that, but we really are. It's almost stupid how good we get on. I miss him so much, as stupid as that sounds. I can't stop thinking about him...and how I wish I had a phone here, so I could text him...or call him...but I can't. UGH, its so frustrating. I want to be with him, and it's not going to happen for awhlie. I can only hope that it really will pick up when I return. I will cross my fingers that some other girl doesn't realize what a catch he is....and he really is amazing....
But enough of that. I went for a walk today, trying to check out cell phones in the area. I was told by the front desk to go to Tesco, so I walked over. I took a picture of it, and it really reminded me of the Wallmart Superstore...cept this thing doesn't seem as effed, morally. Then again, what do I know? I went in, but they didn't have any smartphones, so I said eff that.
Then I came back to the hotel, and had them call me a cab, which I took to this really cute outdoor shopping carosel, to look at the company's own displays and stores. Only one store offered the Curve on a plan I cod get (12 month!). The cab rides were interesting, because it gave me first hand knowledge of how CRAZY the people around here drive...FAST AS HELL AND VERY RECKLESSLY! It's seriously creepy bad. They wipp around corners, and don't slow down for anyone. At one point I thought perhaps there were no speed limits, because everyong is going at different paces.
Well....I am nearly falling asleep on the keyboard...so I will end now, and perhaps finish this tomorrow. I may be absent on the internet for the next few days, depending on if the Bed and Breakfast has internet in every room. Fingers are crossed though.
Cheers,
I am just so scared....
I know everyone expects me to be brave about this, and to enjoy the experience. However, I'm just having a really hard time doing that. I know a lot of people would trade positions with me, and I wish they would. I wish I could back out now, and come home...but I can't. I have to push through this panic, and try to accept it. I am hoping that once I get settled and make some friends, perhaps it won't be so bad. Have your fingers crossed for me as well...
So my last few days were great. Thursday I was supposed to go to the last day of this Teaching Shakespeare workshop,but I bailed on them in order to spend more time at home. I went out for coffee with M that afternoon; he had wanted to take me out the night before but I couldn't go on account of the stupid workshop. We had a great chat, and stayed in Coffee Culture for two and a half hours. Then we went to A&P, to grab some mix. When he dropped me off at my house, I asked him to come in, and then to stay to dinner. He happily agreed to stay. We had curry chicken. While it was good at the time, it definitely gave BOTH of us the 'rhea. Yum! That night Holly, Matt, Steph, SHeena, Meaghan, Christine, Paul and M came over to show me one last good night. It was a really good night, though somehow I got drunker than I wanted. M ended up staying the night with me, which is what I had wanted all along. We had another really great night together, just being really sweet and tender with each other. I had wanted to fall asleep clinging to him, but my drunkeness took over, and I passed out.
In the morning, a bunch of us went to Breakfast. M came, though he didn't eat, because he wasn't feeling well. We held hands under the table the entire time, while I rubbed his back and told him to feel better.
Then Ethan, M and I went to Rogers and rented "Hot Rod", since Christine and Paul told me I HAD to see it. It WAS rather funny, but very very random. I still laughed, and that was what I needed on my last day...
M and I spent the entire day together, before I had to leave and he had to go to work, and it was great. I didn't ever want him to leave, because when he left it would mean it was my time to go. It was so hard, when the time came that he had to go. We stood in the doorway, staring at each other silently for a minute. Then I grabbed him, burying my face onto his shoulders. He kissed the top of my head, and held me there, while I sobbed softly on him. I just couldn't not cry. All the regret about leaving him was starting to pile up, and it got to be too much for me to handle. I could do nothing but wish things were different; wish I wasn't going, or taht he could come....it just felt so profoundly wrong for it to be over. After about ten minues of us holding each other in the doorway, we exchanged a few soft kisses, and he left for work.
Soon after, right before I was about to get into the car to leave, I get a text from him.
"I'm not going to lie, I'm really going to miss you" he said.
"Me too. I don't want to go. I'm sorry I'm doing this. It sucks hard" I replied.
"Yah it does, but I am so happy for you. This is a great thing for you. You deserve to have fun. Just be safe, because it would break my heart if something happened to you" he said.
"I'll be safe. You stay away from crazy bitches. You deserve waay more than that" I replied.
"Thank you. You're the first girl that made me realize that. You're so sweet. I hope that it's not the end for us. If you meet Prince Charming over there, I will try not to get too hung up, because you deserve it"
"Aw hun, don't even worry about that. It's not over between us, eff that. I will be back befor eyou know it" I replied.
It went on like that for a bit, and all I could do was keep myself from balling my eyes out. I just REALLY liked this guy...we clicked, and he is everything I want in a guy...he's affectionate and sweet, and he's a man's man too. We're a perfect match. I know it sounds stupid to say that, but we really are. It's almost stupid how good we get on. I miss him so much, as stupid as that sounds. I can't stop thinking about him...and how I wish I had a phone here, so I could text him...or call him...but I can't. UGH, its so frustrating. I want to be with him, and it's not going to happen for awhlie. I can only hope that it really will pick up when I return. I will cross my fingers that some other girl doesn't realize what a catch he is....and he really is amazing....
But enough of that. I went for a walk today, trying to check out cell phones in the area. I was told by the front desk to go to Tesco, so I walked over. I took a picture of it, and it really reminded me of the Wallmart Superstore...cept this thing doesn't seem as effed, morally. Then again, what do I know? I went in, but they didn't have any smartphones, so I said eff that.
Then I came back to the hotel, and had them call me a cab, which I took to this really cute outdoor shopping carosel, to look at the company's own displays and stores. Only one store offered the Curve on a plan I cod get (12 month!). The cab rides were interesting, because it gave me first hand knowledge of how CRAZY the people around here drive...FAST AS HELL AND VERY RECKLESSLY! It's seriously creepy bad. They wipp around corners, and don't slow down for anyone. At one point I thought perhaps there were no speed limits, because everyong is going at different paces.
Well....I am nearly falling asleep on the keyboard...so I will end now, and perhaps finish this tomorrow. I may be absent on the internet for the next few days, depending on if the Bed and Breakfast has internet in every room. Fingers are crossed though.
Cheers,
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
On My Going Away Party
So my Goodbye Party was a moderate success this weekend. Everyone that I wanted to be there was there, at least at some point! I even had a few surprises! For one thing, Britt and Candice came. I definitely did not expect them to show up, because I thought that they (well Britt at least) did not like me. I was very surprised and happy to see them! K also showed up, and I wasn't particularily nice to him. Neither were my friends. Rachelle, Holly and Christine all put him in his place, regarding his flippant treatment of me over the last few months. I wasn't necessarily intentially rude to him, as I was actually preoccupied with a much better person. M, to be exact. Increasingly I am coming to regret my previous decision of hanging out with K. Although, I must admit that if I hadn't tried dating K I would never have met M...so I do owe him some props in that regard. Rachelle was especially succint in making me realize that I have a history of making "bad decisions", and that K was just one in a long line of such decisions. Unfortunatly, I had to admit she was right. I don't have the greatest track record with me. Most of that I chalk up to my being overly nice and naieve about men. I often put up with shit, thinking that if I call the guys on their behaviour they'll just leave me. Go back and read some of the shit I wrote about my ordeals with K, and you will find it glaringly obvious that I made a multitude of excuses for his behaviour, and my lack of saying anything to make it better. A decent guy won't dump your ass if you air a grievance; only assholes will. I've really got to stop thinking that I have to walk on eggshells around guys, to keep them around. I don't, and it's stupid of me to think that I do. I don't think I would have to worry about that with M.
There's a lot of things I wouldn't have to worry about, if I were with M. He's so much like me, it's actually ridiculous. Every time he says something about himself I am shocked to find that I am the same way. It's acually eerie. Our personalities are a lot the same. Here's one example for you...if you REALLY know me, you should be aware of my rather annoying habit of saying "Sorry" for everything. If it's raining outside, and you're standing with me, I will apologize for the rain. If we're out eating dinner together, and something is wrong with your meal, I will apologize for THAT. I say sorry for literally ANYTHING that goes wrong when you are in my presence. Well, the other night I was with Trevor, and he was drunk while I was sober. For EVERY little thing that happened, he apologized profusely. I actually had to say (and I have NEVER said this to ANYONE, though it's always said to me) "Stop saying sorry!"
I immediatly had to laugh, because it was just too ironic.
Anyways, I hadn't intended to get to the topic of my growing admiration for M just yet...I wanted to discuss the goings on of my night.
So the night was going smashingly well. I was well on my way to being drunk, without being TOO drunk, and everyone was being sociable and fun. Then Zack showed up, and immediatly started to be rude to everyone. He didn't bring any booze, and started to try to sneakily steal other people's booze while they weren't looking. Then he started to grab the crotches of women at the party. Finally he grabbed the wrong crotch...he grabbed Hollys. Then he proceeded to flip the table, which contained everyone's booze, and empty beer bottles. I had people coming up to me from all sides, telling me I had to ask him to leave. I asked for the circumstances, and once I found out, I was livid. I tracked him down, and immediatly started to bitch him out. I was freaking out, to the n'th degree. I called him on every dirty thing he'd done since arriving, and pulled out no stops in letting him know exactly what I thought of him.
He cowed down to me instantly, trying to kiss my ass and pander to my nice side. I wasn't having it though. I wouldn't let him get out of it. Suddenly, I felt a circle forming around us, as people crowded around to hear me. I felt Tony immediately behind me, ready to back me up should Zack get billigernet. That scared him a little, I am sure, since Tony is not the kind of guy you want to mess with. Suddenly my emotions got the best of me, and I broke into tears.
"This is my FUCKING party, you asshole, and I shouldn't have to be worried about people cutting themselves on broken glass, or getting molested by a pervert! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" I yelled at him, tears streaming out of my eyes.
I felt M touch my arm at this point, and I turned to him, burying my head in his shoulder. I hugged him, wiping my tears on his sweater, before storming into the cabin and turning on the shop vac. I angrily started to try and vaccuum up the shards of glass, tears streaming down my face still. I did it for a few moments, while M tried to softly get the vaccuum out of my hands. He finally succeeded, and I passed it to him, and then slumped into a nearby chair, sobbing softly. Someone, I can't remember who, came and took the the vaccuum from M, and he came to console me. Eventually I calmed down, and resolved not to let Zack's stupidity bother me for the rest of the night. We finally got him to leave, with more threats from Tony (merely his presence).
I spent the rest of the night sitting on M's lap, giving him sweet little pecs, as well as talking to my friend from work, Michael. Michael is gay, and probably the funniest person I have ever met. He was also an amazing person to be drunk with, because he got even funnier.
At one point, I don't remember when, I was standing up with my hoody pulled over my head. K was standing directly behind me, and I was talking to Michael. M came up to me, and all of a sudden all I wanted to do was kiss him. He slid his arm around my waist, and I cut off my conversation with Michael, turned to M and pulled my hood hover both of our heads, kissing him. He pulled back, a bit surprised.
"Are you doing this to make K jealous?" he asked.
"No. I am doing this because I want to kiss you more than anything right now" I said. I've never been more honest in my life. I just wanted to feel his hands on the small of my back, while I kissed him under my hoody.
We had what is probably the second most passionate kiss of my life (the first came later in the night), under the comfort of my hoody.
While we were kissing, Holly took the opportunity to rub it in K's face. I heard her walk up to K and ask "Who is that MAKING OUT over there?!?!" in a mock disgusted voice.
"It's M and Krista......" he replied, his voice dripping with jealousy.
M and I both heard it, and shared a brief giggle before resuming our makeout session.
"I'm outta here..." K said a few moments later.
And then he left. I couldn't have been happier.
I don't remember much of the rest of the night, although I do remember going into my tent with M, and having the most passionate kiss of my life in there. We had just finished having pretty great sex, and I turned to him and said "Kiss me."
He rolled onto his side, cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me so softly I thought I was going to die. It was that good. So I kissed him back, equally as soft. We kissed like that for what felt like half an hour. I don't know how long it was, but it was spectacular. It was just a really great, passionate, romantic kiss. It made me melt inside, and regret instantly my decision to go to England.
The following night we all went to see Pineapple Express in London. It was an hilarious movie! I highly recommend it to everyone! I wish I had spent more time with M though...so I invited him to come to Moxies for dinner with the Tills gang the next day, and he accepted.
The dinner was last night, and it went well. It was delicious, and was a great group outing. Afterwards, Holly, Matt, M and I decided to head back to my place to have a few bevy's. I opted out of drinking, since I had a workshop to attend and didn't want to be tired AND drunk. M, however, got very drunk. In his defence, he was only trying to make an awkward situation with Matt and Holly less awkward, by getting Matty really drunk....but he really only succeeded in making HIMSELF horribly drunk. It was absolutly adorable. He didn't want to stay inside, and insisted on going for a walk. So we went for a walk around the block. He could hardly walk a straight line, let alone even stand up straight, so I was holding his hand the entire time.
"I love that you're holding my hand," he said, "It feels so...natural."
I blushed, and giggled, unsure of how to respond. I was actually SO happy to hear him say that, because I felt the same way.
It started to rain at one point, and he insisted on taking off his shirt so that I could cover myself. It was adorably sweet, and I've never had anyone do that. We walked back to my house, him topless and me with his shirt on my head.
We went back inside, and sat on the couch for awhile. However, he got ansy about sitting in the hot house, and asked me to take him home. I agreed, so I drove him over to his place. However, once we got to his house, he made me pull over, and then took the keys out of the ignition.
"I just love spending time with you...come in for awhile!" he said.
"It's 12:30 at night, I am not comin in...your parents will think its all about hanky panky!" I said.
"Okay, fine. We'll hang out in your car!"
I laughed, and said that was fine, if that's what he wanted to do.
So we literally sat in my car, and talked for an hour. Him being drink was absolutly adorable, because he spoke whatever was on his mind.
He professed his anger at the fact that I was leaving in a few days, and that he was so glad that he got to know me.
"I don't usually hang out with girls every night...but I've seen you ever day since Thursday, and I don't even mind, and I wish I could have more..." he said.
I told him I felt the same way.
"I still can't believe I even have a chance with you. I had a crush on you the moment I met you...and I was so jealous of K. I kept thinkin 'Here's this girl with an AMAZING personality, and who is gorgeous to boot, and she's with K...a total asshole'. You have no idea how many times I wanted to punch him for the way he treated you!" he gushed.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I told him that I had had a crush on HIM since I met him, and that if he hadn't had a girlfriend when I first met him, I would have ditched my attempts at getting K, and would have focussed on him.
"WHAT?! Really!? I honestly didn't think I ever had a chance with you...it shocked me when you invited me out...." he said.
I assured him that he was, in fact, very attractive to me, and that I thought he was an amazingly nice guy.
"Yah well, you're the hottest girl to ever touch my weiner" he said.
I had a great laugh at this, and so did he.
Then he got serious, and told me that he hoped I had an amazing time in England, and that I deserved the best.
"You're going to go there, and you're going to get swept off your feet by some Prince or Lord or something, who's going to be rich, and drive an amazing car, and buy you amazing things...and he's going to love being with you, because you're just the sweetest, most amazing girl in the world, and you're absolutly beautiful to boot....and I can't even be mad, because you deserve it" he said.
It was honestly the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and all I wanted to say to him was that I don't want to meet a Prince over there, and that if I could have anything in the world it would be to have HIM....but I couldn't. Instead I told him that I wouldn't have time to meet guys in England, and that I wouldn't be looking.
"I don't even have a right to care," he said. "I shouldn't care, I don't care..."
"Clearly you do, and that's alright sweetie," I replied. I put a hand on his leg, and tried to give him my most...my...the look. I can't even name it.
He just kind of looked down, blushing, so I knew it was true.
Then I told him, again, how amazing he was, and that if I wasn't going to England I would date him in a second.
"Yah, well...you're going," he said.
"Well I don't want to..."
We didn't say anything for a minute. I think if I had been drunk as well, I would have spilled my heart out to him. I would have told him that I wish I could stick it out with him, and tell him how amazing I think he is, and how much I beat myself up every day now that I realize...how I wish I wasn't going.
We chatted some more, going from lighthearted to serious. Finally, he realized what time it was, and started to get out of the car.
"Wait!" I said.
He turned to look at me.
"I want a kiss first," I said coyly.
He grinned and leaned in for a kiss.
I kissed him gently on the lips once, pulling away slightly.
"One more," I said quietly, and kissed him again.
"And another," I said after that.
"Give me a good one now..." as I leaned in for one more great kiss. It was just like the one in the tent. He put his hands on my face, and held me there for a good 5 minutes or so. It was so tender, I melted again.
Finally he pulled away.
"One more..." he said this time.
He pecked me on the lips, then opened the door and got out.
"Bye hun!" I said, and pulled away.
I drove home, cursing my life and my luck. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him for weeks....and this weekend made it particularily bad. It's going to be so hard for me to leave...Thursday night I plan to stay up as late as I can, and I hope that he stays up with me. Saying goodbye to him is going to be rough, because I don't want to.
But then again, do I want to say it to anyone? No.
There's a lot of things I wouldn't have to worry about, if I were with M. He's so much like me, it's actually ridiculous. Every time he says something about himself I am shocked to find that I am the same way. It's acually eerie. Our personalities are a lot the same. Here's one example for you...if you REALLY know me, you should be aware of my rather annoying habit of saying "Sorry" for everything. If it's raining outside, and you're standing with me, I will apologize for the rain. If we're out eating dinner together, and something is wrong with your meal, I will apologize for THAT. I say sorry for literally ANYTHING that goes wrong when you are in my presence. Well, the other night I was with Trevor, and he was drunk while I was sober. For EVERY little thing that happened, he apologized profusely. I actually had to say (and I have NEVER said this to ANYONE, though it's always said to me) "Stop saying sorry!"
I immediatly had to laugh, because it was just too ironic.
Anyways, I hadn't intended to get to the topic of my growing admiration for M just yet...I wanted to discuss the goings on of my night.
So the night was going smashingly well. I was well on my way to being drunk, without being TOO drunk, and everyone was being sociable and fun. Then Zack showed up, and immediatly started to be rude to everyone. He didn't bring any booze, and started to try to sneakily steal other people's booze while they weren't looking. Then he started to grab the crotches of women at the party. Finally he grabbed the wrong crotch...he grabbed Hollys. Then he proceeded to flip the table, which contained everyone's booze, and empty beer bottles. I had people coming up to me from all sides, telling me I had to ask him to leave. I asked for the circumstances, and once I found out, I was livid. I tracked him down, and immediatly started to bitch him out. I was freaking out, to the n'th degree. I called him on every dirty thing he'd done since arriving, and pulled out no stops in letting him know exactly what I thought of him.
He cowed down to me instantly, trying to kiss my ass and pander to my nice side. I wasn't having it though. I wouldn't let him get out of it. Suddenly, I felt a circle forming around us, as people crowded around to hear me. I felt Tony immediately behind me, ready to back me up should Zack get billigernet. That scared him a little, I am sure, since Tony is not the kind of guy you want to mess with. Suddenly my emotions got the best of me, and I broke into tears.
"This is my FUCKING party, you asshole, and I shouldn't have to be worried about people cutting themselves on broken glass, or getting molested by a pervert! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" I yelled at him, tears streaming out of my eyes.
I felt M touch my arm at this point, and I turned to him, burying my head in his shoulder. I hugged him, wiping my tears on his sweater, before storming into the cabin and turning on the shop vac. I angrily started to try and vaccuum up the shards of glass, tears streaming down my face still. I did it for a few moments, while M tried to softly get the vaccuum out of my hands. He finally succeeded, and I passed it to him, and then slumped into a nearby chair, sobbing softly. Someone, I can't remember who, came and took the the vaccuum from M, and he came to console me. Eventually I calmed down, and resolved not to let Zack's stupidity bother me for the rest of the night. We finally got him to leave, with more threats from Tony (merely his presence).
I spent the rest of the night sitting on M's lap, giving him sweet little pecs, as well as talking to my friend from work, Michael. Michael is gay, and probably the funniest person I have ever met. He was also an amazing person to be drunk with, because he got even funnier.
At one point, I don't remember when, I was standing up with my hoody pulled over my head. K was standing directly behind me, and I was talking to Michael. M came up to me, and all of a sudden all I wanted to do was kiss him. He slid his arm around my waist, and I cut off my conversation with Michael, turned to M and pulled my hood hover both of our heads, kissing him. He pulled back, a bit surprised.
"Are you doing this to make K jealous?" he asked.
"No. I am doing this because I want to kiss you more than anything right now" I said. I've never been more honest in my life. I just wanted to feel his hands on the small of my back, while I kissed him under my hoody.
We had what is probably the second most passionate kiss of my life (the first came later in the night), under the comfort of my hoody.
While we were kissing, Holly took the opportunity to rub it in K's face. I heard her walk up to K and ask "Who is that MAKING OUT over there?!?!" in a mock disgusted voice.
"It's M and Krista......" he replied, his voice dripping with jealousy.
M and I both heard it, and shared a brief giggle before resuming our makeout session.
"I'm outta here..." K said a few moments later.
And then he left. I couldn't have been happier.
I don't remember much of the rest of the night, although I do remember going into my tent with M, and having the most passionate kiss of my life in there. We had just finished having pretty great sex, and I turned to him and said "Kiss me."
He rolled onto his side, cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me so softly I thought I was going to die. It was that good. So I kissed him back, equally as soft. We kissed like that for what felt like half an hour. I don't know how long it was, but it was spectacular. It was just a really great, passionate, romantic kiss. It made me melt inside, and regret instantly my decision to go to England.
The following night we all went to see Pineapple Express in London. It was an hilarious movie! I highly recommend it to everyone! I wish I had spent more time with M though...so I invited him to come to Moxies for dinner with the Tills gang the next day, and he accepted.
The dinner was last night, and it went well. It was delicious, and was a great group outing. Afterwards, Holly, Matt, M and I decided to head back to my place to have a few bevy's. I opted out of drinking, since I had a workshop to attend and didn't want to be tired AND drunk. M, however, got very drunk. In his defence, he was only trying to make an awkward situation with Matt and Holly less awkward, by getting Matty really drunk....but he really only succeeded in making HIMSELF horribly drunk. It was absolutly adorable. He didn't want to stay inside, and insisted on going for a walk. So we went for a walk around the block. He could hardly walk a straight line, let alone even stand up straight, so I was holding his hand the entire time.
"I love that you're holding my hand," he said, "It feels so...natural."
I blushed, and giggled, unsure of how to respond. I was actually SO happy to hear him say that, because I felt the same way.
It started to rain at one point, and he insisted on taking off his shirt so that I could cover myself. It was adorably sweet, and I've never had anyone do that. We walked back to my house, him topless and me with his shirt on my head.
We went back inside, and sat on the couch for awhile. However, he got ansy about sitting in the hot house, and asked me to take him home. I agreed, so I drove him over to his place. However, once we got to his house, he made me pull over, and then took the keys out of the ignition.
"I just love spending time with you...come in for awhile!" he said.
"It's 12:30 at night, I am not comin in...your parents will think its all about hanky panky!" I said.
"Okay, fine. We'll hang out in your car!"
I laughed, and said that was fine, if that's what he wanted to do.
So we literally sat in my car, and talked for an hour. Him being drink was absolutly adorable, because he spoke whatever was on his mind.
He professed his anger at the fact that I was leaving in a few days, and that he was so glad that he got to know me.
"I don't usually hang out with girls every night...but I've seen you ever day since Thursday, and I don't even mind, and I wish I could have more..." he said.
I told him I felt the same way.
"I still can't believe I even have a chance with you. I had a crush on you the moment I met you...and I was so jealous of K. I kept thinkin 'Here's this girl with an AMAZING personality, and who is gorgeous to boot, and she's with K...a total asshole'. You have no idea how many times I wanted to punch him for the way he treated you!" he gushed.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I told him that I had had a crush on HIM since I met him, and that if he hadn't had a girlfriend when I first met him, I would have ditched my attempts at getting K, and would have focussed on him.
"WHAT?! Really!? I honestly didn't think I ever had a chance with you...it shocked me when you invited me out...." he said.
I assured him that he was, in fact, very attractive to me, and that I thought he was an amazingly nice guy.
"Yah well, you're the hottest girl to ever touch my weiner" he said.
I had a great laugh at this, and so did he.
Then he got serious, and told me that he hoped I had an amazing time in England, and that I deserved the best.
"You're going to go there, and you're going to get swept off your feet by some Prince or Lord or something, who's going to be rich, and drive an amazing car, and buy you amazing things...and he's going to love being with you, because you're just the sweetest, most amazing girl in the world, and you're absolutly beautiful to boot....and I can't even be mad, because you deserve it" he said.
It was honestly the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and all I wanted to say to him was that I don't want to meet a Prince over there, and that if I could have anything in the world it would be to have HIM....but I couldn't. Instead I told him that I wouldn't have time to meet guys in England, and that I wouldn't be looking.
"I don't even have a right to care," he said. "I shouldn't care, I don't care..."
"Clearly you do, and that's alright sweetie," I replied. I put a hand on his leg, and tried to give him my most...my...the look. I can't even name it.
He just kind of looked down, blushing, so I knew it was true.
Then I told him, again, how amazing he was, and that if I wasn't going to England I would date him in a second.
"Yah, well...you're going," he said.
"Well I don't want to..."
We didn't say anything for a minute. I think if I had been drunk as well, I would have spilled my heart out to him. I would have told him that I wish I could stick it out with him, and tell him how amazing I think he is, and how much I beat myself up every day now that I realize...how I wish I wasn't going.
We chatted some more, going from lighthearted to serious. Finally, he realized what time it was, and started to get out of the car.
"Wait!" I said.
He turned to look at me.
"I want a kiss first," I said coyly.
He grinned and leaned in for a kiss.
I kissed him gently on the lips once, pulling away slightly.
"One more," I said quietly, and kissed him again.
"And another," I said after that.
"Give me a good one now..." as I leaned in for one more great kiss. It was just like the one in the tent. He put his hands on my face, and held me there for a good 5 minutes or so. It was so tender, I melted again.
Finally he pulled away.
"One more..." he said this time.
He pecked me on the lips, then opened the door and got out.
"Bye hun!" I said, and pulled away.
I drove home, cursing my life and my luck. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him for weeks....and this weekend made it particularily bad. It's going to be so hard for me to leave...Thursday night I plan to stay up as late as I can, and I hope that he stays up with me. Saying goodbye to him is going to be rough, because I don't want to.
But then again, do I want to say it to anyone? No.
Friday, August 15, 2008
On Suspicions Being Confirmed
So I hung out with M last night. Before you start jumping to conclusions, slow down. It wasn't a two-per date; Dane was there! Anyways, we went to Kelsey's and had some beers, while shooting the shit. It was cheap pitcher night, so there was quite a young crowd there; I knew most of the people in attendance. It was a pretty carefree, casual thing, with chit chatting and laughing. Holly and Matt stopped by briefly, to give me a parting gift and card. The card was so sweet, and I almost wanted to cry. Inside was some money, which went a long way in paying for all but 4 dollars of my new hair colour (THANK YOU MATT AND HOLLY! Love you guys! Mean it!). I'd be lying if I didn't say it took a bit of strength to hold in the tears! I managed it though, so all was well. They didn't stay long though, because they both had to work in the morning.
At one point during our stay at Kelsy's, M's phone rings. It's K's best bud, R. I guess M had invited him out for drinks, and he was just checking to see what the situation was. He must have asked who was in attendance thus far, because M listed off both Dane and I. A few minutes later he hung up, saying that R and some people were headed our way. Fine by me....
However, time passes, and an hour later they still hadn't shown up. We all were a bit miffed, but we didn't really think a lot of it. Since drinking at the restaurant can be pricey, we decided to go back to M's house and have some beers on his back patio. Once we get there, we find out from M's dad that R had stopped by looking for M, with a carload of people. This must have been just before the call. We pondered amongst ourselves why they never followed through on coming to the bar, when it suddenly dawned on me...it was highly likely that they didn't join us because I was in attendance. Chances are high that K was in the car with R, and at the mention of my presence, he likely balked at being in that awkward situation. Frankly, I am glad he didn't show up. It would have been very awkward indeed.
Anyways, I commented on my likely role in their inability to show up, which lead to a discussion of K and myself, and how the FUCK I ever ended up liking that ass-clown. I shook my head, and was at a loss of words. Then M dropped a bit of a bomb on me...
"So yah...last weekend at the bar, K came up to me and said that you made out with him outside. He wanted to 'warn' me..."
I stared at him, dumbfounded, for a moment.
"I KNEW he was going to do that, I KNEW it!" I said. "The moment I saw him when we came into the bar, I could tell he was pissed that I came with you...and I KNEW he would try to cause shit, just to see what he could get away with. I KNEW it...."
"So...you didn't?" M ventured tentatively. "I mean...I can't really care, I don't really care.....[I feel I must note that clearly he DID care somewhat...but anyways], but I definitely was like wtf when he told me...."
"Pfft...do you want the truth?! This is what happened....you know that first time we all went out for a smoke and he came out too? When you guys went back in, he held me back and asked me to kiss him. Then he basically made me kiss him on the lips...but it was not making out, and it was not something I willingly went for or took part in! HE tried to kiss ME...."
M shook his head, laughing.
"Honestly, I don't have any reason to lie to you...and that's the straight up truth," I said.
"Oh I believe you...that's like K, to do something like that," he replied.
"I can't believe he would go to you and say that...Well actually, I KNEW he was going to do something like that. I knew he'd try to put it on me...but the truth of the matter is he came on to me....and then after that I was so standoffish all night, because I just did not want ANY more drama...standoffish to you AND him, in case you didn't notice that..."
"I definitely noticed you get a little distant, but it makes sense now, "he said.
So we discussed the little white lie, and decided that K just wanted to cause trouble...what a little prick!
Then M told me that he had invited R and a bunch of people to come drinking with us that night, and that he had SPECIFICALLY requested that K not come, for the very reason of his knowing he'd cause shit. I feel I should mention now that NEITHER M nor myself has a problem with K. We just have a problem with the way he treats people, specifically girls, and more specifically me. It's just retarded. I don't understand what he hoped to gain by going to M and telling him that I'd "made out" with him outside...under M's very nose. It's not as if M and I are seriously dating, or anything of the sort. K knows as well as anyone else that I am England-bound in a week (two weeks at the time of the incident). Why he felt the need to cause shit is beyond me. I'm just going to chalk it up to his immaturity, and the fact that deep down he doesn't want anyone else to have me, in any capacity.
Anyways, we really only discussed the situation for about 20 minutes, and then it was off the table for the rest of the night. Dane left at around 11:30, so M and I just kinda sat around and shot the shit, while having a few more bevy's. It was a pretty solid night. Then he walked me home, and that's the end of that.
I still feel like an ass for trying to date K all those months ago...what a stupid waste of time THAT was...I would have been better served to pursue M. Ah well, perhaps it's best that I didn't, because if we had have dated, it would have made leaving that much harder. As it stands, leaving is going to be hard enough, but it won't be heart-wrenching; at least not romantically. Though it is unfortunate that I "meet" a genuine nice guy on the eve of my departure, that's life for ya.
Always a son-of-a-bitch.
Cheers.
At one point during our stay at Kelsy's, M's phone rings. It's K's best bud, R. I guess M had invited him out for drinks, and he was just checking to see what the situation was. He must have asked who was in attendance thus far, because M listed off both Dane and I. A few minutes later he hung up, saying that R and some people were headed our way. Fine by me....
However, time passes, and an hour later they still hadn't shown up. We all were a bit miffed, but we didn't really think a lot of it. Since drinking at the restaurant can be pricey, we decided to go back to M's house and have some beers on his back patio. Once we get there, we find out from M's dad that R had stopped by looking for M, with a carload of people. This must have been just before the call. We pondered amongst ourselves why they never followed through on coming to the bar, when it suddenly dawned on me...it was highly likely that they didn't join us because I was in attendance. Chances are high that K was in the car with R, and at the mention of my presence, he likely balked at being in that awkward situation. Frankly, I am glad he didn't show up. It would have been very awkward indeed.
Anyways, I commented on my likely role in their inability to show up, which lead to a discussion of K and myself, and how the FUCK I ever ended up liking that ass-clown. I shook my head, and was at a loss of words. Then M dropped a bit of a bomb on me...
"So yah...last weekend at the bar, K came up to me and said that you made out with him outside. He wanted to 'warn' me..."
I stared at him, dumbfounded, for a moment.
"I KNEW he was going to do that, I KNEW it!" I said. "The moment I saw him when we came into the bar, I could tell he was pissed that I came with you...and I KNEW he would try to cause shit, just to see what he could get away with. I KNEW it...."
"So...you didn't?" M ventured tentatively. "I mean...I can't really care, I don't really care.....[I feel I must note that clearly he DID care somewhat...but anyways], but I definitely was like wtf when he told me...."
"Pfft...do you want the truth?! This is what happened....you know that first time we all went out for a smoke and he came out too? When you guys went back in, he held me back and asked me to kiss him. Then he basically made me kiss him on the lips...but it was not making out, and it was not something I willingly went for or took part in! HE tried to kiss ME...."
M shook his head, laughing.
"Honestly, I don't have any reason to lie to you...and that's the straight up truth," I said.
"Oh I believe you...that's like K, to do something like that," he replied.
"I can't believe he would go to you and say that...Well actually, I KNEW he was going to do something like that. I knew he'd try to put it on me...but the truth of the matter is he came on to me....and then after that I was so standoffish all night, because I just did not want ANY more drama...standoffish to you AND him, in case you didn't notice that..."
"I definitely noticed you get a little distant, but it makes sense now, "he said.
So we discussed the little white lie, and decided that K just wanted to cause trouble...what a little prick!
Then M told me that he had invited R and a bunch of people to come drinking with us that night, and that he had SPECIFICALLY requested that K not come, for the very reason of his knowing he'd cause shit. I feel I should mention now that NEITHER M nor myself has a problem with K. We just have a problem with the way he treats people, specifically girls, and more specifically me. It's just retarded. I don't understand what he hoped to gain by going to M and telling him that I'd "made out" with him outside...under M's very nose. It's not as if M and I are seriously dating, or anything of the sort. K knows as well as anyone else that I am England-bound in a week (two weeks at the time of the incident). Why he felt the need to cause shit is beyond me. I'm just going to chalk it up to his immaturity, and the fact that deep down he doesn't want anyone else to have me, in any capacity.
Anyways, we really only discussed the situation for about 20 minutes, and then it was off the table for the rest of the night. Dane left at around 11:30, so M and I just kinda sat around and shot the shit, while having a few more bevy's. It was a pretty solid night. Then he walked me home, and that's the end of that.
I still feel like an ass for trying to date K all those months ago...what a stupid waste of time THAT was...I would have been better served to pursue M. Ah well, perhaps it's best that I didn't, because if we had have dated, it would have made leaving that much harder. As it stands, leaving is going to be hard enough, but it won't be heart-wrenching; at least not romantically. Though it is unfortunate that I "meet" a genuine nice guy on the eve of my departure, that's life for ya.
Always a son-of-a-bitch.
Cheers.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
On The Finishing Touches
Yesterday I recieved my Great Britain Pounds, and I must admit they are nothing like I had imagined. They are so FAT! I mean, they are considerably bigger and wider than Canadian money. They are colourful, more colourful than American money, but not nearly as colourful as Canadian money. They also have pretty much all the same security features we have. I just can't get over the fatness of the bills! I tried to fit them into my wallet, and they simply would not fit! That is to say, they fit to a certain extent, but they folded over slightly at the tops...too wide! Makes me wonder if they make wallets bigger in England? I will definitely have to investigate that once I arrive.
I'm starting to get slightly nervous now, about the housing arrangement, or lack thereof. I have some appointments lined up, but I'm still afraid none of those will fall through. However, I keep reminding myself that once I get there it will be very easy to find a place; I will just look in the local newspapers, or perhaps wander around Swavesey or St. Ives, looking for "For Rent" signs. Or would they have "For Let" signs?! They do call renting "letting", after all. I just have to keep thinking positively, and hope that finding a decent, not overly expensive place to live won't be too hard. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I worked one of my last shifts at Sobeys today. It made me want to kill myself, because this old bitch who has it out for me made me go get carts. If you've never worked in a grocery store, you don't know what a hassle it is to get carts. I don't think there is any time of the year that would be decent for getting carts. In the winter it'd be cold and snowy (and therefore hard to manouver), and in the summer its hot and sweaty. I came in fourty-five minutes later sweatingly like a man, and likely smelling like one too. I scowled at the old bat, as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I was waiting for her to make some snarky comment about my red cheeks and damp body, but she just ignored me. It's probably for the better, since any comment from her would have recieved an even colder response from myself.
Anyways...at this point I've not nothing new to report, so I am going to call it quits now.
Cheers!
I'm starting to get slightly nervous now, about the housing arrangement, or lack thereof. I have some appointments lined up, but I'm still afraid none of those will fall through. However, I keep reminding myself that once I get there it will be very easy to find a place; I will just look in the local newspapers, or perhaps wander around Swavesey or St. Ives, looking for "For Rent" signs. Or would they have "For Let" signs?! They do call renting "letting", after all. I just have to keep thinking positively, and hope that finding a decent, not overly expensive place to live won't be too hard. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I worked one of my last shifts at Sobeys today. It made me want to kill myself, because this old bitch who has it out for me made me go get carts. If you've never worked in a grocery store, you don't know what a hassle it is to get carts. I don't think there is any time of the year that would be decent for getting carts. In the winter it'd be cold and snowy (and therefore hard to manouver), and in the summer its hot and sweaty. I came in fourty-five minutes later sweatingly like a man, and likely smelling like one too. I scowled at the old bat, as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I was waiting for her to make some snarky comment about my red cheeks and damp body, but she just ignored me. It's probably for the better, since any comment from her would have recieved an even colder response from myself.
Anyways...at this point I've not nothing new to report, so I am going to call it quits now.
Cheers!
Monday, August 11, 2008
On Awkward MSN Conversations
Instead of commenting on the MSN conversation I am CURRENTLY having, I thought I would simply put it here, for your entertainment. You should be able to pick up on the characters involved, and the topic, quite fast. Enjoy.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:44 PM):
i mean whats that about? why aren't you coming anymore
Josh says (9:44 PM):
Last time we talked I told you that if you want me to make an appearance before you go to get in touch with me, you havent done that
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:46 PM):
? why should i have to ask you to come, when i ALREADY asked you to come
Josh says (9:50 PM):
i dunno, things change i suppose
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:50 PM):
okay well whatever, do what ya gotta do
Josh says (9:50 PM):
why would you even want me to come anyway?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:50 PM):
cuz I want all my friends to come? I dunno!
Josh says (9:52 PM):
Well I dont know
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:52 PM):
alright, well don't come I guess. I'm just sayin you dont have to feel like you're not welcome, everyone's welcome.
Josh says (9:57 PM):
im just not too amped to watch you fuck whats his face (or someone else).
Im the loser so yeah im a little weird about hanging out.
And I dont give a shit if you and everyone else want to make fun of me and whatnot about it. Random sex isnt really my thing...I guess that makes me a bad person in everyone eyes.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:58 PM):
How could you possibly be around to see me "fuck" someone?! Thats a bit much! I don't get why you're so awkward about it, just be chill!!
Josh says (10:02 PM):
You know what I mean
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:04 PM):
what, being flirty? I'm just a flirty person in general....that's how I am. And I'll likely be flirting with a bunch of people on Saturday, so if it bugs you to see me flirt with a bunch of different guys, then I guess you probs shouldnt come. Flirting doesnt mean i'm going to fuck everyone either...... Its flirting.
Josh says (10:04 PM):
lol.....ya
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:06 PM):
Suck it up! It's going to be a fun night
Josh says (10:06 PM):
I dont want to have fun. lol
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:06 PM):
okay? thats fucked
Josh says (10:07 PM):
k
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:07 PM):
You're being retarded
Josh says (10:07 PM):
Why?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:08 PM):
Because, you're not comin cuz you...what? are wallowing in self pity? Grow up!
Josh says (10:09 PM):
lol are you fucking serious?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:10 PM):
Yah
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:10 PM):
I am
Josh says (10:12 PM):
Wow, I have been doing many things latley but wallowing in slef pitty is not one of them. Sure, I was down for a couple of days but ten I realized what a waste of my time it was actually giving a shit.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:12 PM):
Right, so what's with all the attitude tonight then, bout not comin? FUcking gay
Josh says (10:13 PM):
Because im just flat out not sure if I want to.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:14 PM):
well then don't come, I don't want anyone there who's gonna sulk in any capacity
Josh says (10:15 PM):
dont use the word sulk
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:16 PM):
yah well, that's what you did the last time you were at my house
Josh says (10:17 PM):
Because I was not aware that you were going to be fucking someone.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:18 PM):
i didnt fuck anyone, thanks
Josh says (10:18 PM):
well no not the Friday
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:18 PM):
Nope
Josh says (10:20 PM):
But a little heads up would have been the least you could have done. Im glad I was the last to know.
I realize that you are leaving and dont have to give a shit or take any responsibilty blah blah blah. But doing the decent thing usually is for the best.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:21 PM):
The decent thing? I don't have to run my decisions by anyone, least of all you. Also, I didn't know Trevor was comin that night, Matt invited him as we were all sitting on the front porch waitin for people to come
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:21 PM):
not sure how I was supposed to "warn" you.....considering I had no idea. Not that I would warn you, or anyone else, about my business.
Josh says (10:22 PM):
I know you wouldnt.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:22 PM):
That makes no sense. NO one does that
Josh says (10:23 PM):
No why would you.....why would people feelings matter?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:25 PM):
How would a warning like that go? I pull you aside at the party and say "oh hey, josh...fyi, I'm going to bang trevor, you're out. hope thats okay".
Maybe if we had like dated for years and years, and you showed up at a party where I was with my new man...I MIGHT in that situation pull you aside and say "hey hope it doesnt bug you,but im here with my new man".
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:25 PM):
But.....well, I hate to break it to you...but it was one night....and I really fail to see how that constitutes me having to tell you anything like that. Its not like we were ever in a serious thing....how could I be, I'm leaving?!
Josh says (10:29 PM):
you didnt HAVE to tell me. But it would have been nice.
How did you expect me to react being the last to know?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:29 PM):
being the last to know about what!??!?!?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:29 PM):
ts not like I'm dating anyone now
Josh says (10:32 PM):
That it was just a one night stand.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:33 PM):
I thought that was rather obvious
Josh says (10:33 PM):
lol how?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:34 PM):
?!?!? Normally if you want to date someone you have solo time
Josh says (10:35 PM):
Yeah it was my mistake for even trying to bother
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:36 PM):
Well I don't really get it, how'd that have worked anyways? I'm leaving for England. Its not like I ever hid that.
Josh says (10:37 PM):
I know that. But like I said before I was hoping that we would more or less date until you left, that would have been fine with me. Would have made for a great summer.
But like you said last time we talked, even if you werent leaving you wouldnt want to date me.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:39 PM):
That doesnt make any sense, why would I want to date ANYONE before I left?! It seems stupid...it'd just make leaving that much harder. But yah...I wouldnt have dated you regardless of staying or going...or anyone else for that matter.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:40 PM):
At least no one from around here
Josh says (10:40 PM):
What does around here have to do with anything?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:42 PM):
Because no one in this town appeals to me on a long term basis. I know everyone, and they're all douches
Josh says (10:42 PM):
lol im not sure if thats exactly true.
You cant judge people based on where they happen to live.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:43 PM):
I know everyone here....and if I don't know them they're 20, and I've dabbled in the twenty year olds enough
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:44 PM):
I'd only date someone who had the same ambitions as me, as good a job as me....and there isnt anyone in this town that fits that bill
Josh says (10:44 PM):
Do you mean a good job or lots of money?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:44 PM):
I mean a good job. A job on par with mine
Josh says (10:45 PM):
Im not exactly sure what you mean by that.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:45 PM):
a good job! I decent job! Whats not to get?
Josh says (10:46 PM):
I suppose im asking you what your definition of a good job is.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:46 PM):
40,000 plus, stability, that sort of thing.
Josh says (10:47 PM):
lol then date Nick, he has a GREAT job. Just ask him
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
Where's the stability
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
he's on contract
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
and we all know the auto sector is hurting
Josh says (10:48 PM):
I was being sarcastic, he hates it.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:48 PM):
i couldn't date nick anyways, I dont see him that way at all
Josh says (10:52 PM):
oh ok.
Josh says (10:53 PM):
I always assumed that you wanted to teach to help people etc.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:58 PM):
?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:58 PM):
I dont teach for the money if that's what you're implying?? I teach because it's what Ive always wanted to do, and because I'm great at it
Josh says (10:59 PM):
Thats good, but I was starting to wonder with all your good job=money talk
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (11:00 PM):
Yah well that's part of what Im talking about...ambition. Doing what you want to do
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (11:00 PM):
i doubt highly that working in a factory is someones dream job
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:44 PM):
i mean whats that about? why aren't you coming anymore
Josh says (9:44 PM):
Last time we talked I told you that if you want me to make an appearance before you go to get in touch with me, you havent done that
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:46 PM):
? why should i have to ask you to come, when i ALREADY asked you to come
Josh says (9:50 PM):
i dunno, things change i suppose
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:50 PM):
okay well whatever, do what ya gotta do
Josh says (9:50 PM):
why would you even want me to come anyway?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:50 PM):
cuz I want all my friends to come? I dunno!
Josh says (9:52 PM):
Well I dont know
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:52 PM):
alright, well don't come I guess. I'm just sayin you dont have to feel like you're not welcome, everyone's welcome.
Josh says (9:57 PM):
im just not too amped to watch you fuck whats his face (or someone else).
Im the loser so yeah im a little weird about hanging out.
And I dont give a shit if you and everyone else want to make fun of me and whatnot about it. Random sex isnt really my thing...I guess that makes me a bad person in everyone eyes.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (9:58 PM):
How could you possibly be around to see me "fuck" someone?! Thats a bit much! I don't get why you're so awkward about it, just be chill!!
Josh says (10:02 PM):
You know what I mean
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:04 PM):
what, being flirty? I'm just a flirty person in general....that's how I am. And I'll likely be flirting with a bunch of people on Saturday, so if it bugs you to see me flirt with a bunch of different guys, then I guess you probs shouldnt come. Flirting doesnt mean i'm going to fuck everyone either...... Its flirting.
Josh says (10:04 PM):
lol.....ya
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:06 PM):
Suck it up! It's going to be a fun night
Josh says (10:06 PM):
I dont want to have fun. lol
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:06 PM):
okay? thats fucked
Josh says (10:07 PM):
k
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:07 PM):
You're being retarded
Josh says (10:07 PM):
Why?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:08 PM):
Because, you're not comin cuz you...what? are wallowing in self pity? Grow up!
Josh says (10:09 PM):
lol are you fucking serious?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:10 PM):
Yah
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:10 PM):
I am
Josh says (10:12 PM):
Wow, I have been doing many things latley but wallowing in slef pitty is not one of them. Sure, I was down for a couple of days but ten I realized what a waste of my time it was actually giving a shit.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:12 PM):
Right, so what's with all the attitude tonight then, bout not comin? FUcking gay
Josh says (10:13 PM):
Because im just flat out not sure if I want to.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:14 PM):
well then don't come, I don't want anyone there who's gonna sulk in any capacity
Josh says (10:15 PM):
dont use the word sulk
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:16 PM):
yah well, that's what you did the last time you were at my house
Josh says (10:17 PM):
Because I was not aware that you were going to be fucking someone.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:18 PM):
i didnt fuck anyone, thanks
Josh says (10:18 PM):
well no not the Friday
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:18 PM):
Nope
Josh says (10:20 PM):
But a little heads up would have been the least you could have done. Im glad I was the last to know.
I realize that you are leaving and dont have to give a shit or take any responsibilty blah blah blah. But doing the decent thing usually is for the best.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:21 PM):
The decent thing? I don't have to run my decisions by anyone, least of all you. Also, I didn't know Trevor was comin that night, Matt invited him as we were all sitting on the front porch waitin for people to come
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:21 PM):
not sure how I was supposed to "warn" you.....considering I had no idea. Not that I would warn you, or anyone else, about my business.
Josh says (10:22 PM):
I know you wouldnt.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:22 PM):
That makes no sense. NO one does that
Josh says (10:23 PM):
No why would you.....why would people feelings matter?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:25 PM):
How would a warning like that go? I pull you aside at the party and say "oh hey, josh...fyi, I'm going to bang trevor, you're out. hope thats okay".
Maybe if we had like dated for years and years, and you showed up at a party where I was with my new man...I MIGHT in that situation pull you aside and say "hey hope it doesnt bug you,but im here with my new man".
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:25 PM):
But.....well, I hate to break it to you...but it was one night....and I really fail to see how that constitutes me having to tell you anything like that. Its not like we were ever in a serious thing....how could I be, I'm leaving?!
Josh says (10:29 PM):
you didnt HAVE to tell me. But it would have been nice.
How did you expect me to react being the last to know?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:29 PM):
being the last to know about what!??!?!?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:29 PM):
ts not like I'm dating anyone now
Josh says (10:32 PM):
That it was just a one night stand.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:33 PM):
I thought that was rather obvious
Josh says (10:33 PM):
lol how?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:34 PM):
?!?!? Normally if you want to date someone you have solo time
Josh says (10:35 PM):
Yeah it was my mistake for even trying to bother
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:36 PM):
Well I don't really get it, how'd that have worked anyways? I'm leaving for England. Its not like I ever hid that.
Josh says (10:37 PM):
I know that. But like I said before I was hoping that we would more or less date until you left, that would have been fine with me. Would have made for a great summer.
But like you said last time we talked, even if you werent leaving you wouldnt want to date me.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:39 PM):
That doesnt make any sense, why would I want to date ANYONE before I left?! It seems stupid...it'd just make leaving that much harder. But yah...I wouldnt have dated you regardless of staying or going...or anyone else for that matter.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:40 PM):
At least no one from around here
Josh says (10:40 PM):
What does around here have to do with anything?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:42 PM):
Because no one in this town appeals to me on a long term basis. I know everyone, and they're all douches
Josh says (10:42 PM):
lol im not sure if thats exactly true.
You cant judge people based on where they happen to live.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:43 PM):
I know everyone here....and if I don't know them they're 20, and I've dabbled in the twenty year olds enough
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:44 PM):
I'd only date someone who had the same ambitions as me, as good a job as me....and there isnt anyone in this town that fits that bill
Josh says (10:44 PM):
Do you mean a good job or lots of money?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:44 PM):
I mean a good job. A job on par with mine
Josh says (10:45 PM):
Im not exactly sure what you mean by that.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:45 PM):
a good job! I decent job! Whats not to get?
Josh says (10:46 PM):
I suppose im asking you what your definition of a good job is.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:46 PM):
40,000 plus, stability, that sort of thing.
Josh says (10:47 PM):
lol then date Nick, he has a GREAT job. Just ask him
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
Where's the stability
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
he's on contract
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:47 PM):
and we all know the auto sector is hurting
Josh says (10:48 PM):
I was being sarcastic, he hates it.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:48 PM):
i couldn't date nick anyways, I dont see him that way at all
Josh says (10:52 PM):
oh ok.
Josh says (10:53 PM):
I always assumed that you wanted to teach to help people etc.
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:58 PM):
?
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (10:58 PM):
I dont teach for the money if that's what you're implying?? I teach because it's what Ive always wanted to do, and because I'm great at it
Josh says (10:59 PM):
Thats good, but I was starting to wonder with all your good job=money talk
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (11:00 PM):
Yah well that's part of what Im talking about...ambition. Doing what you want to do
Krista (12) || Bonafide hustler, makin my name... says (11:00 PM):
i doubt highly that working in a factory is someones dream job
On Drama For Your Mama
So lately I've been inviting M to hang out with the Tills gang. It's been going well, just having a fun time. Saturday, Matty had a party, and we all invited M to come along. Unfortunatly it piss poured, so instead of enjoying some bevy's on Matts gorgeous patio, we ended up hunkering down in the basement, and played Kings. I wasn't too keen on drinking, so I must admit that I faked most of my sips. As everyone else started to get drunk, they really failed to notice I was cheating, which was fine by me.
At around 11:30, we went downtown. First we went to the Mug, and then headed over to the Royal. I walked in with Christine's man Paul and M. I was hoping and praying that K wouldn't be there, but my praryers went unhedded, and I immediatly saw K playing pool with his buddies. M and Paul, being good friends with that crowd, stopped to greet everyone. The girls came up to me, to chat. Britt, the one that I thought hated me, came up, hugged me, and said "Krista! I haven't seen you in forever!". Then she paused, before adding "You WOULD come in with M!"
She tried to laugh it off, but I was instantly cautious of what she had said.
"I came with Paul too..." I said, my voice dripping with anger.
She tried to laugh it off, but I think my disapproval of her comment was visible, because she quickly escaped. I turned to my right, and chatted up one of the boys half heartedly, as I tried to work out what she had meant.
Meanwhile, K was avoiding eye contact with me, which was extrememly awkward. I decided to sit down, so I found a booth and had a seat. M and Paul came and joined me. After awhile, K walked by and M got his attention with a wave. K came and sat with us, winking at me. As he chatted with M, his hand reached under the table to grab my leg. I was shocked, unsure of what to make of it. K quickly excused himself to return to his pool game,and winked at me when he left. Frustrated, I went out for a smoke (something I rarely do, but I wanted an excuse to go outside alone).
I wasn't even out there for a minute, when K followed me. He too lit a smoke, and started chatting me up; asking when I was leaving, and that sort of thing. Then he asked me why I hadn't talked to him the past few weeks. I asked him the same question back, and he replied that he thought I hated him. I assured him that I didn't, and he said the same. Things seemed to be all right. Then he started to get a bit handsy, which put me in an awkward postion. M, Paul, and Sheena came out for a smoke, and we all stood in an awkward circle. I wasn't sure what to do. K got even more bold and flirty, in M's presence, and I realized what he was trying to do. As the others left, K held me back, and asked me to kiss him. I tried to laugh it off, but he pulled my sweater, causing me to lean into him, and kissed me on the lips.
I was shocked, and terribly confused. All my past feelings for him came flooding back in an instant. I still find him ridiculously attractive, so it wasn't easy for me to resist him. A part of me really wanted to take him back and ravish him. Another part of me wanted to hurl. It was so conflicting. I walked back into the bar, with K trailing after me. I tried to ignore him though, and eventually he left me to my own devices.
After stewing in my emotions for about half an hour, I decided to leave. I grabbed Paul, Sheena and M, and we made the trek back to my place. For the record, nothing happend with M and I that night, as he passed out on the couch.
I did,however drunkenly text K as I was laying in bed.
"You better come to my party! It's going to be hella good times!" I said.
"I will. Me and you should hook up one last time before you leave" he replied.
"That could be arranged..." I sent back.
In the morning, I regretted that last text....it was mostly the result of conflicting emotions within myself. However, I talked to Paul about it, and he really made me realize that K is an asshole who only wants what he can't have...and for the limited amount of time I have left, M is the best choice. He's a much nicer guy, all around.
I will try my hardest to resist K this weekend, should he show up and try to follow through.
Wish me luck!
At around 11:30, we went downtown. First we went to the Mug, and then headed over to the Royal. I walked in with Christine's man Paul and M. I was hoping and praying that K wouldn't be there, but my praryers went unhedded, and I immediatly saw K playing pool with his buddies. M and Paul, being good friends with that crowd, stopped to greet everyone. The girls came up to me, to chat. Britt, the one that I thought hated me, came up, hugged me, and said "Krista! I haven't seen you in forever!". Then she paused, before adding "You WOULD come in with M!"
She tried to laugh it off, but I was instantly cautious of what she had said.
"I came with Paul too..." I said, my voice dripping with anger.
She tried to laugh it off, but I think my disapproval of her comment was visible, because she quickly escaped. I turned to my right, and chatted up one of the boys half heartedly, as I tried to work out what she had meant.
Meanwhile, K was avoiding eye contact with me, which was extrememly awkward. I decided to sit down, so I found a booth and had a seat. M and Paul came and joined me. After awhile, K walked by and M got his attention with a wave. K came and sat with us, winking at me. As he chatted with M, his hand reached under the table to grab my leg. I was shocked, unsure of what to make of it. K quickly excused himself to return to his pool game,and winked at me when he left. Frustrated, I went out for a smoke (something I rarely do, but I wanted an excuse to go outside alone).
I wasn't even out there for a minute, when K followed me. He too lit a smoke, and started chatting me up; asking when I was leaving, and that sort of thing. Then he asked me why I hadn't talked to him the past few weeks. I asked him the same question back, and he replied that he thought I hated him. I assured him that I didn't, and he said the same. Things seemed to be all right. Then he started to get a bit handsy, which put me in an awkward postion. M, Paul, and Sheena came out for a smoke, and we all stood in an awkward circle. I wasn't sure what to do. K got even more bold and flirty, in M's presence, and I realized what he was trying to do. As the others left, K held me back, and asked me to kiss him. I tried to laugh it off, but he pulled my sweater, causing me to lean into him, and kissed me on the lips.
I was shocked, and terribly confused. All my past feelings for him came flooding back in an instant. I still find him ridiculously attractive, so it wasn't easy for me to resist him. A part of me really wanted to take him back and ravish him. Another part of me wanted to hurl. It was so conflicting. I walked back into the bar, with K trailing after me. I tried to ignore him though, and eventually he left me to my own devices.
After stewing in my emotions for about half an hour, I decided to leave. I grabbed Paul, Sheena and M, and we made the trek back to my place. For the record, nothing happend with M and I that night, as he passed out on the couch.
I did,however drunkenly text K as I was laying in bed.
"You better come to my party! It's going to be hella good times!" I said.
"I will. Me and you should hook up one last time before you leave" he replied.
"That could be arranged..." I sent back.
In the morning, I regretted that last text....it was mostly the result of conflicting emotions within myself. However, I talked to Paul about it, and he really made me realize that K is an asshole who only wants what he can't have...and for the limited amount of time I have left, M is the best choice. He's a much nicer guy, all around.
I will try my hardest to resist K this weekend, should he show up and try to follow through.
Wish me luck!
Monday, August 4, 2008
On Man Drama
So this weekend was the August Long Weekend, though it wasn't very long for me. It was, however, quite fun.
Friday night my parents were still off camping, so my sister and I took advantage by hosting a shindig. We invited as many people as we could, and a good number actually did show up. Before the party really started to happen, it was just the "gang" of Sheena, Holly, Matt and I. We were all joking around, and I mentioned that I would have to hit on someone in front of Josh, if I had any hopes of crushing him enough to make him stop liking me. Holly mentioned that I should hit on one of K's friends, M, because she knew I had always had a little bit of a crush on him. Matty jumped in, saying that he thought it was an excellent idea, and he would text M to see if he was doing anything. At first I was against the idea, but slowly it started to gain on me. Why not invite M, get a little shameless flirting in with a very cute guy?! So I gave Matty the go ahead. We all got to talking, and didn't hear back right away. The mosquito's started to get annoying at this point, and seeing that we didn't have any Power Pads left, I volunteered to walk to Shoppers to pick some up, so that we wouldn't get eaten alive. When I returned, I noticed that M's car was in the driveway. I mentally thanked Matt, and walked into the house.
There he was, sitting on a stool! I smiled at him, and asked him if he wanted a beer. At first he refused, saying he couldn't stay long, since he had to work in the morning. After a few gentle verbal prods, however, he changed his mind, and I fetched him a beer from the basement. After that, the party really started to pick up, and I started to get tipsy, and hence bolder. My flirting got dangerously out of control, and I started to focus in on M like he was the only one at the party. At around 10:30, Nick and Josh showed up. I gave Nick a hug, as is our custom, but didn't pay any attention to Josh. I continued to rain flirtations down on M. I could tell that Josh was getting ticked off, but this is exactly what I had wanted. The kid needed to get a dose of reality; I was not, and never would be, interested in him. Whatever happened between us was a fluke occurrence, and not something I wanted to pursue.
At one point, Sheena took me aside and told me that Josh was outside flipping out, throwing around beer bottles and cursing about how I was "flirting" with Matt's buddy. At one point he stalked me into the bathroom, and tried to confront me as I left. However, I spun past him, merely saying "He's just a friend, get over it". What I should have said was "You're just a friend, get over it". Anyways, everyone else wanted to go downtown, but Matt, Holly, Ethan, M and I decided downtown wasn't for us. So we all stuck around at my house, drinking, chatting, and flirting. At around one, M got up to leave, and I walked him to the door. Nothing happened, and he took off. I was slightly bummed, but meh, what can you do!
The following day, I get MORE MSN messages from Josh, where he again poured his heart out to me. He said he was hurt at seeing me flirt so shamelessly with another guy. Then he again asked me what I felt towards him. At this point, it was starting to get very grating to me. His constant whining and bitching was making me not want to spend ANY time around him, in any fashion. I decided at that moment to avoid being around him, at all costs. If he was going to be at a party somewhere, I would make sure not to attend. Thank god I only have a few weeks left here, and that won't be hard. Anyways, after him incessantly asking me what I thought about him and about "us" I had to stop being nice, and start being nasty. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was never interested in dating him, and that even if I wasn't leavin for England I would never date him. I told him I was not interested in him beyond a friend AT ALL, and that with his present actions even THAT was questionable. I also, rather bluntly, told him that he had been in the right place at the right time, and that whatever had happened had meant nothing to me. I know I made him cry again, though he didn't admit it this time, but I don't really care. I can't help but think of him as a total loser now. He annoys me to no end, and is one of those creepy whiny guys you hear about, but never want to meet. He's a crybaby loser, and isn't near good enough for me. Thank god I can wash my hands of him now. YUCK. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine. That's one number I will not count as real on my counter, because it's just too damn embarrassing.
Anyways.....The next day, while I was at work, I get a text message from Holly. I call her back on my break, only to find out that someone from my party told M's ex-girlfriend that he had been at my party, and the stories were escalating to the point where it was being said we had had sex upstairs while everyone was at the party. SO DID NOT HAPPEN! Anyways, I had invited M to come to a party Saturday night with me, and was afraid that this garbage was going to prevent him from coming. However, Holly said Matt was working on him, so I was content with that.
I got done work at 10, and drove out to the party. When I got there, I saw my tent was set up, which was a good thing. Also, M was there! He had brought two friends with him, which was just peachy keen! At first, he was pulling another nancy, and was intent on not stayin over for the night. He said, again, that he had to work in the morning, and besides he "had nowhere to crash". I scoffed at this, and told him he could share my tent with me.
"I won't even try to do anything...honest. Although, if it's already being said...."
He laughed, and then agreed to stay.
At that point, the drinking began in earnest.
It ended up being a really fun night! I got drunker than I have been in awhile. Once everyone started to peter out, I grabbed his hand and lead him to my tent. The rest, as they say, is history. Needless to say, the rumours (at least part of them) came true Saturday night.
Anyways, he's a much nicer guy than K ever was. It kind of sucks that a) I didn't put the effort into HIM first, instead of K and b) that I am leaving for England. I always meet the nice boys at the wrong time. It was kind of funny though, because he drunkenly told me that he never understood why I was with K, since he's "a bit of a douchebag, especially to girls" and that he "didn't treat me nearly as good as I deserved to be treated". As he got drunker, he even ventured so far as to say that he wished he could beat the crap out of K for me, for treating me like trash. It was rather adorable, and I had a nice little smug giggle about it. What a nice boy!
Alright, well that's it for now!
Cheers!
Friday night my parents were still off camping, so my sister and I took advantage by hosting a shindig. We invited as many people as we could, and a good number actually did show up. Before the party really started to happen, it was just the "gang" of Sheena, Holly, Matt and I. We were all joking around, and I mentioned that I would have to hit on someone in front of Josh, if I had any hopes of crushing him enough to make him stop liking me. Holly mentioned that I should hit on one of K's friends, M, because she knew I had always had a little bit of a crush on him. Matty jumped in, saying that he thought it was an excellent idea, and he would text M to see if he was doing anything. At first I was against the idea, but slowly it started to gain on me. Why not invite M, get a little shameless flirting in with a very cute guy?! So I gave Matty the go ahead. We all got to talking, and didn't hear back right away. The mosquito's started to get annoying at this point, and seeing that we didn't have any Power Pads left, I volunteered to walk to Shoppers to pick some up, so that we wouldn't get eaten alive. When I returned, I noticed that M's car was in the driveway. I mentally thanked Matt, and walked into the house.
There he was, sitting on a stool! I smiled at him, and asked him if he wanted a beer. At first he refused, saying he couldn't stay long, since he had to work in the morning. After a few gentle verbal prods, however, he changed his mind, and I fetched him a beer from the basement. After that, the party really started to pick up, and I started to get tipsy, and hence bolder. My flirting got dangerously out of control, and I started to focus in on M like he was the only one at the party. At around 10:30, Nick and Josh showed up. I gave Nick a hug, as is our custom, but didn't pay any attention to Josh. I continued to rain flirtations down on M. I could tell that Josh was getting ticked off, but this is exactly what I had wanted. The kid needed to get a dose of reality; I was not, and never would be, interested in him. Whatever happened between us was a fluke occurrence, and not something I wanted to pursue.
At one point, Sheena took me aside and told me that Josh was outside flipping out, throwing around beer bottles and cursing about how I was "flirting" with Matt's buddy. At one point he stalked me into the bathroom, and tried to confront me as I left. However, I spun past him, merely saying "He's just a friend, get over it". What I should have said was "You're just a friend, get over it". Anyways, everyone else wanted to go downtown, but Matt, Holly, Ethan, M and I decided downtown wasn't for us. So we all stuck around at my house, drinking, chatting, and flirting. At around one, M got up to leave, and I walked him to the door. Nothing happened, and he took off. I was slightly bummed, but meh, what can you do!
The following day, I get MORE MSN messages from Josh, where he again poured his heart out to me. He said he was hurt at seeing me flirt so shamelessly with another guy. Then he again asked me what I felt towards him. At this point, it was starting to get very grating to me. His constant whining and bitching was making me not want to spend ANY time around him, in any fashion. I decided at that moment to avoid being around him, at all costs. If he was going to be at a party somewhere, I would make sure not to attend. Thank god I only have a few weeks left here, and that won't be hard. Anyways, after him incessantly asking me what I thought about him and about "us" I had to stop being nice, and start being nasty. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was never interested in dating him, and that even if I wasn't leavin for England I would never date him. I told him I was not interested in him beyond a friend AT ALL, and that with his present actions even THAT was questionable. I also, rather bluntly, told him that he had been in the right place at the right time, and that whatever had happened had meant nothing to me. I know I made him cry again, though he didn't admit it this time, but I don't really care. I can't help but think of him as a total loser now. He annoys me to no end, and is one of those creepy whiny guys you hear about, but never want to meet. He's a crybaby loser, and isn't near good enough for me. Thank god I can wash my hands of him now. YUCK. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine. That's one number I will not count as real on my counter, because it's just too damn embarrassing.
Anyways.....The next day, while I was at work, I get a text message from Holly. I call her back on my break, only to find out that someone from my party told M's ex-girlfriend that he had been at my party, and the stories were escalating to the point where it was being said we had had sex upstairs while everyone was at the party. SO DID NOT HAPPEN! Anyways, I had invited M to come to a party Saturday night with me, and was afraid that this garbage was going to prevent him from coming. However, Holly said Matt was working on him, so I was content with that.
I got done work at 10, and drove out to the party. When I got there, I saw my tent was set up, which was a good thing. Also, M was there! He had brought two friends with him, which was just peachy keen! At first, he was pulling another nancy, and was intent on not stayin over for the night. He said, again, that he had to work in the morning, and besides he "had nowhere to crash". I scoffed at this, and told him he could share my tent with me.
"I won't even try to do anything...honest. Although, if it's already being said...."
He laughed, and then agreed to stay.
At that point, the drinking began in earnest.
It ended up being a really fun night! I got drunker than I have been in awhile. Once everyone started to peter out, I grabbed his hand and lead him to my tent. The rest, as they say, is history. Needless to say, the rumours (at least part of them) came true Saturday night.
Anyways, he's a much nicer guy than K ever was. It kind of sucks that a) I didn't put the effort into HIM first, instead of K and b) that I am leaving for England. I always meet the nice boys at the wrong time. It was kind of funny though, because he drunkenly told me that he never understood why I was with K, since he's "a bit of a douchebag, especially to girls" and that he "didn't treat me nearly as good as I deserved to be treated". As he got drunker, he even ventured so far as to say that he wished he could beat the crap out of K for me, for treating me like trash. It was rather adorable, and I had a nice little smug giggle about it. What a nice boy!
Alright, well that's it for now!
Cheers!
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