On Being Weak

I'm sure that some of you have been reading my last few posts, and shaking your head at me. I don't blame you at all. I am shaking my head at MYSELF. I mean, I was browsing through my posts, and came across the On Making Big Girl Decisions. I skimmed through it, and I totally realized that I am the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet. I made these great points about how I wasn't going to settle, and that I wasn't in it for the "ass"....and then what do I do? I give it up to the first guy who shows a bit of interest in me. What is THAT about? I mean, am I seriously that weak?

I shouldn't even have to ask that question, because the answer is yes. I AM that weak. It's pathetic, really. At least I can admit that I'm a huge pussy...I'm sure there are some girls out there that would deny, deny, deny. Not this chick. I'm pathetic. I was SO SURE of my big girl decision...and then along comes some cute little guy, and I'm like a fucking puppy dog. What happened to my game plan? Just the flirting? UGH! I am horrible! I am just reverting back to my old ways, of sleeping with guys in the hopes that they will like me. NEWS FLASH! Sleeping with a guy will not make him like you. In actuality, it will just give him what he wants, and then he will more than likely forget you exist and move on to the next girl. Seriously. I HAVE to stop doing this. I have to stop letting the pathetic old Krista get out. I was doing SO GOOD at being the new, awesome, Krista. I mean, seriously...good.

Well. Here it is again. I am going to make another declaration. When I return home, I will NOT sleep with a guy until he works REALLY hard for it. I mean, he is going to have to woo the shit out of me. I'm talking dinner, dates, movies, and a LOO-OOO-OOT of heavy petting. A lot. Ha ha ha.

Now, if you happened to catch the "when I return home" part, let me explain; obviously I've already fucked up up here. As such, I may as well not change now. I'lll just give myself the next 22 days to be the old Krista; the man-eating Krista. I've already got a target in mind. Tee hee. That is, if some more throw downs fail to materialize with M. I'll keep him as my boy toy, if he keeps askin for it. But that's about it.

Once I'm home, no more Toy Soldiers for me. I'll be looking for a REAL boy come March 8th.

Giggity.