On The February Blahs

I am SO not feeling this month, at all. It's like every other day I'm feeling good, and then suddenly I'm feeling down in the dumps. Maybe it's just being sick of the weather, or maybe its the fact that tomorrow is Valentines Day, and I'm single. It's more than likely a combination of all those factors. Regardless, I am getting really tired of feeling this way. It's so FRUSTRATING to feel wicked awesome one day, and then drop down so fast. The down days are really shitty too, because it's like my self-esteem itself is jumping into Lake Superior. I freeze right over, and turn into this mopey bitch that I don't like. I just sit around like a lazy ass, feeling sorry for myself, and wishing I had something to do, or someone to hold, or some other stupid lame retarded thing like that. So I'll sit there, and feel this way, and I will TELL myself in my harshest voice to fuck off. I literally do. I tell myself to stop being so stupid, and to smarten up. I go over all the things that make me fabulous, in my head, and for a moment or two that's enough. However, it soon fades, and I'm back to feeling like total shit.

It's so bizarre.

BUT you know what would make me happy right now? I'm watching CSI: Miami on A&E, and a commercial for Gene Simmons Family Jewels just came on. I instantly perked up. That show is fabulous. I adore watching it. I used to scoff at Gene Simmons, because I always felt that KISS was kind of overrated, and he struck me as an asshole. However, after watching the show, I realized that he is a VERY smart businessman. He knows exactly what to do, and he does it. He isn't afraid to admit he's all about making money, and I admire that. He knows how to make a buck, thats for sure. Plus he is witty, and I enjoy that. BUT what I enjoy more than that is his fabulously sexy son, Nick. That kid....he really does it for me. THAT is my dream guy. He's tall - I mean, he's 6'7" for fucks sake. That is the definition of sex to me - and he's thin (but not gross thin, he's got that hot bod thing goin on naturally for him), and he is sharp was a knife. I mean, this kid can crack out one liners at a moments notice. He sees everything, and has something witty to say about it instantly. It is such a turn on. Ha ha. I know that sounds really creepy, but I'm just telling it like it is. He embodies everything that I find irresistable in a man. Plus his hair...ooooo it's kinda long,but managed, and I would loooove to run my fingers through it. Mmmm babes. Love it. Anyways. Watching that show would make me feel better right now. Ha ha. It truly would.

But since it is not on, I think I will go to bed early, and hopefully wake up in a better mood. Although, I doubt that, since tomorrow is officially Valentines Day, and I am officially single...

...which, by the way, I hate.

Anyways, only 23 more days until I return to the South. Maybe when I return I can find a REAL man to date. You know, one that actually WANTS to date me, and spend some quality time and all that shit. For now, I'll stick with the casual encounters, I suppose, and try not to let my girly emotions become involved.

Cheers