On Almost Burning The House Down

So I was boiling some water tonight on the stove, so that I could make some asian noodles for my lovely stir-fry. The element was just starting to heat up, and was turning red, when all of a sudden I heard a "whoosh" sound, and there were FLAMES leaping up under the pot.
"OH MY GOD!" I screamed.
I lifed the pot off, to see where the flame was coming from, and noticed that it seemed to be coming from out from under the element. My first reaction was, for whatever reason, to blow on it. Instantly I realized that oxygen feeds fires, and not to my surprise the flames grew. Smartening up, I turned off the element, as well as the one in front of it too, just in case. I was freaking out, and my heart was pounding a mile a minute. The flames got more intense, and started to reach higher. They were starting to lick the hood. Black smoke was starting to fill the kitchen.
"MIIIIKE" I screamed (Mike is one of my roomies).
I had a profound feeling that I needed to have a man, any man, come rescue me.
I ran frantically to my cabinet, and searched for baking soda. This search was in vain, as I should have known I didn't have any.
I ran over to Mike's cabinet, which was always well stocked in everything. I quickly spotted some baking soda, and screwed off the lid as fast as I could. The flames were getting a LOT higher, and the smoke was starting to really bother me. I threw the baking soda into the mix, and instantly the flames were battered down a bit. However, they quickly raged again, so I threw all of the baking soda onto it.....again and again I doused the flames, until finally I got it out.
At this time, Mike came running in from upstairs.
"Oh my god! Are you okay?! What happened?" he asked. We both were waving our hands in front of our faces, to clear the smoke.
I walked over to the window, and opened it, coughing.
"I have no idea how that happened...I was boiling water, and suddenly the element was on FIRE!" I said.
"Oh...I think I know how it started....Dan was in here this morning making hash browns, and I noticed that he used a LOT of oil. It was almost to the top of the pan, and was splashing and splattering everywhere. It must have gotten under the element, and on the element...and once it reached the right temperature it caught on fire," he said.
"Oh my god, what an idiot. The house could have burned down! I HATE THAT GUY!" I said. My heart was still racing...and I was not exaggerating my hate. This kid is the ultimate douchebag.

Once the element cooled off, I took it out, to replace the tin foil...and sure enough there was oil all over the element and in the tin foil tray. I was astounded. I have never seen a PUDDLE of oil in the tin foil tray on an stove top before. What kind of an idiot allowed that to happen!? Seriously!

The asshole is just lucky I didn't completely panic, and knew what to do. Otherwise, there could have been a LOT of damage done.

Anyways, on the plus side, my landlords wife, Shivbon (pronounced Shiv-on) had her baby today! It was a healthy baby boy! They named him Cooper! I think that is the cutest name, and I may steal it for myself. Ha! Dean, the husband, came and showed me pictures after dinner today, and I must say he is a beautiful little baby! He has a full head of hair too! SO CUTE! They will likely be home on Saturday, and he said I would get to hold him then! YAY! So excited. I love babies, and I can't wait to have one! Ha! Don't tell any guys I said that, though.

It was kinda funny, cuz this morning I was woken up at about 8:30 by hearing Shiv scream "DEEEEEEEEEEEAN! It's coming! OH MY GOD, it's COMING!" I could only assume that her water broke, or something. I sprung out of bed, and listened to them calmly get their stuff, and get ready to go to the hospital. As they were going outside, I opened the back door, and yelled "GOOD LUCK YOU GUYS!". They giggled and said thanks. See, Shiv is actually a year younger than me, so this is her first baby. She's such a cutie, I am so happy for her!!! When I got home from school, at around 4, she had already had the baby! Apparently she was only in labour for four hours. I couldn't believe that! What a lucky girl!

Anyways, I really should stop blabbing, and go get ready for the night. I'm off to the campus bar tonight. I have also convinced my new crush, M, to go out...so we shall see where THAT goes.

Cheers!!